Recruiting "Friends" Just for You!

     A university student received the following email from a frum (orthodox) student and passed it on to me. (I have removed any identifying information.) Basically, the outreach rabbi on campus is holding a Shabbos event, and wants to get orthodox students and families involved to take these non-orthodox students under their wings for the purpose of outreach. Notice how the student sending the email describes the rabbi as "the kiruv
Rabbi at University of XXX." That is the function of this rabbi and the reason why he is on this campus. As stated within the body of the letter, these kiruv volunteers will "create relationships" from this "amazing kiruv opportunity." And you thought they genuinely wanted to be your friend! The sad truth is that this whole experience is contrived.

Hi everyone,
For those that don't know Rabbi XXX  is the kiruv Rabbi at University of XXX. He is arranging a Shabbaton on XX/XX/2013, for the secular Jewish students that come to his classes. He is having around 25 students come into the  XXXX area for the Shabbos. I am working with him to have the religious students together with any wives/husbands come and join them for the Shabbaton. This is an amazing kiruv opportunity to create relationships with the other students that will hopefully last throughout your time in college and beyond.
We are in the planning stages right now and in order to plan accordingly we need to know who would be able to join us and for which meals. Please email me if you can come for Friday night and Shalosh Seuodos meals if its free, if it costs a nominal fee or if you can only make it for one of the 2 meals. For anyone not in the XXXX area we can try to find hosts for you if needed.
If you notice any frum jews I missed in this email list feel free to forward them this email or to let me know.
Please try to respond asap so we can plan accordingly.

Thank you,
Looking forward to spending a Shabbos together,
XXXX

     This is the other side of the story. Sure, people who get involved as volunteers in kiruv genuinely believe they're doing a good thing and believe that they're influencing their guests in a positive way. But so do cultists, and missionaries, and the salespeople who give out free dinners in order to get you to buy a timeshare in Florida. None of them are making the invitation because they think you'll make a great friend. They simply think you'll make a great recruit.