Children of BTs and Converts: How They're Really Treated

  I posted the link to this article on this blog's Facebook page yesterday but it was too important not to include a brief post about it here.
   I can only hope that "Children of Baalei Teshuva / Converts / Something to Think About During These 9 Days"goes viral. Parents need to read this. Potential recruits being missionized by ultra-orthodox kiruv professionals need to read this. The frum world needs to read this. People considering an orthodox conversion need to read this.
  In a nutshell, converts are supposed to welcomed into the community. They're not be reminded that they are converts. Baalei teshuvah are also supposedly on a higher level than those who are frum from birth, or FFB, since they supposedly overcame more obstacles and changed their way of life. Regardless, the frum community has always found a way to treat gerim (converts) and BTs (newly religious) with distrust and disdain, allowing and encouraging community members to treat them as if they are second class citizens.
  The children of BTs and gerim often face social and educational hurdles from a community that once pretended to accept their parents in order to convince them to become frum. Kids are often not  accepted into certain schools due to their parents' status as BTs or converts; some children are bullied in the schools that do accept them. Often these children face further social discrimination from orthodox parents who fear that their kids will somehow be negatively influenced by a family that has not always been frum.
  I have written about this before on this blog. I have sent articles and queries to other publications about this phenomenon, and about the issues within kiruv. The frum world doesn't want to hear it and the non-orthodox Jewish world doesn't believe it--not until their children are scooped up by the friendly rabbi on campus and indoctrinated into this lifestyle. Read the article. Share that article and others that shed light on what's really going on in the world of kiruv. Let's work together to educate people about the truth behind deceptive ultra-orthodox Jewish outreach.

Show Me the Money

     The talk around town has been about the scandal surrounding Rabbi Barry Freundel's alleged videotaping of women at the mikvah during the process of orthodox conversion to Judaism. Forward writer Uriel Heilman covered this story from an interesting perspective--from that of those who have been waiting for conversion and how this affects them. The reason I bring this up is because of something very interesting I found within the body of Heilman's article.
     After a discussion about how long the conversion process generally takes (approximately two years, but seems to be unclear, with rabbis judging each case individually,) Heilman mentions that:

Converts are expected to pay about $400 in fees, but the beit din sometimes will waive costs based on financial need and on occasion has played a proactive role in helping converts get tuition discounts at Jewish day schools.

That can be a dangerous proposition, however, [Rabbi Zvi Romm, the administrator of the RCA’s New York beit din for conversion] says, because the beit din wants to be confident that the convert will be able to afford the higher costs associated with an Orthodox lifestyle: kosher food, Jewish education, housing in an Orthodox neighborhood.
“One of the considerations we make is, can the person hack it financially?” Romm said. “If a person says I have no money whatsoever, I can’t afford the $400 fee paid out over time, the question you have to ask is, how are you going to make it as an Orthodox Jew?”1

     I was surprised to find that a person's ability or inability to afford an orthodox lifestyle weighs heavily enough to be mentioned prominently in an article about the conversion process. This raises several questions in my mind.

Why are potential baal teshuvahs/BTs not made aware of the huge expenses of an orthodox lifestyle? Where is the concern from kiruv (outreach) rabbis that young college students being urged to take time off from university to attend yeshiva programs might not be able to "hack it financially" down the line? What is honest about the deliberate withholding of information regarding what to expect after the honeymoon phase of orthodoxy wears off? Do campus kiruv rabbis assess prospective recruits by their current and potential financial worth?
     Both kiruv rabbis and conversion rabbis are in a position of trust and power. Abusing that power by withholding information, abusing that trust, and violating what really should be a professional relationship as that of a teacher and student, is an abuse of their power. All potential recruits to orthodox Judaism--whether converts or BTs--deserve basic respect, as well as freedom from deceptive practices.

Heilman, Uriel. After Freundel Scandal, Converts in Waiting Complain of Unexpected Obstacles. The Jewish Daily Forward. October 28, 2014.