Women Assault Rabbis with Sights and Smells (And Other Interesting Tales from Lakewood)

     One of the reasons that this blog is called "Jewish Outreach: What Your Rabbi Isn't Telling You" is due to the inaccurate picture of ultra-orthodox life often painted by Jewish outreach/kiruv workers.  Once one leaves the idyllic realm of kiruv experiences, there is a very real world that exists on the other side of a few semesters or years at yeshiva or seminary that most people people don't know about, or even understand until moving into such a community. The following excerpts from screenshots were recently taken from the publication "The Voice of Lakewood," published for the orthodox community in Lakewood, New Jersey.
     In the first excerpt, notice that  a woman is complaining that young girls (second grade, to be exact,) in a summer camp setting (in someone's home) have exposed skin between their high socks and their skirts. Notice the level of concern of the writer.

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     Notice the second picture in which women and girls are told to cut their hair or sheitels (wigs) to an "acceptable length." This advertisement is endorsed by Lakewood rabbonim (rabbis) and roshei yeshiva (heads of yeshivas.) 

     The third picture, a letter to the Voice of Lakewood, signed "Appalled in Lakewood," is from a father who is appalled that his daughter's teacher wears a wig that is longer than her shoulders. This is apparently in direct conflict with the family's values which stress that a married woman's wig must not go past her shoulders. Rather than complain to the community, perhaps he could have explained to his daughter that different people hold by different beliefs, even within the realm of orthodox Judaism. Kiruv is often  guilty of the same thing, teaching that orthodox Judaism, and Judaism in general, can only be practiced one way--the way of the kiruv worker.

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     Picture four provides further understanding of the status of women in the Lakewood orthodox community. Mothers of cheder (school-age) boys are urged by "a Lakewood Rebbi" "not [to] dress up excessively ... and definitely do not wear perfume" for parent-teacher conferences with the rebbi (a male teacher.) This "Lakewood Rebbi" then asks "why can't we trust the child's father to go alone and bring home a report? ...Perhaps the mothers could set up a phone meeting with the rebbi. He would be thrilled to do so instead of being assaulted by all types of sights and smells two evenings a year." It seems that "a Lakewood Rebbi" is trying very hard to be labeled a misogynist, proclaiming in print his disgust for women and belief that women really don't need to have any part in their male children's education.

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If you weren't already sure as to why the Lakewood orthodox community feels that women's modesty, or tznius, is important, the following letter to the Voice of Lakewood should clarify their perspective. You see, when one is first learning from his/her kiruv/outreach rabbi, one isn't told that the reason ultra-orthodox women are pressured to dress a certain way  is because of the belief that a woman's hemline directly affects whether or not Jews get hurt or die. (This isn't an isolated incident. Signage to this effect was found in Brooklyn, where women learned that they'd be "severely punished" for not following the laws of modesty. You can also read about how the ultra orthodox community consistently obscures the faces of females in their publications.) The author of this letter, who signs off as "Someone Who's Embarrassed of the Image of Lakewood," offers readers what should be understood as concern: "What are you doing to yourself and others? That person that got hurt or died--it might have been because of you." She further states that her husband "refuses to go to the grocery store because he feels like it's a junkyard looking at all that garbage that people are wearing." I'd like to think that perhaps this is just her husband's excuse to get his wife to go shopping so that he doesn't have to, but alas, the prevalent feeling is that the women must help protect their husbands from impure thoughts. To do so, they use community pressure to push their beliefs on others within the community--even those who might not be observing at the same level.

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     The question is, why is  what goes on in Lakewood, New Jersey, relevant to this blog? After all, Lakewood isn't the be all and end all of campus (or other) kiruv practice. But that's just my point. Lakewood is an ultra-orthodox community. Like other ultra-orthodox communities, there are people in and from Lakewood who work or volunteer with kiruv organizations. These letters are in their community's magazine and are representative of issues that are grappled with by those in the community. These letters are indicative of the archaic lens through which community leaders view and control  women and their bodies in the name of Judaism. When whole communities buy into the belief that the length of a woman's skirt is responsible for "116 accidents this past week," it creates a danger for the rights of all people--those already in, and those first coming into, these communities. When kiruv professionals push their beliefs on people who have little or no experience with ultra-orthodox Judaism, they leave out the part about how they believe a too-short hemline or the exposed skin of an 8 year-old's leg has caused death and destruction to Jews; and how guilt, fear, intimidation, and community pressure will keep women behaving to whatever tznius (modesty) standard has been deemed socially acceptable. 

Update: For more on this topic, read "Shmiras Einayim --Try it, You'll Like it!"over at Kol B'Isha Erva.

Dress Codes and Losing One's Autonomy

Anoymous, Brooklyn, NY, 2013. Click to enlarge.

     R' Moshe  (Rabbi Moshe Feinstein) was  considered to be one of orthodoxy's leading rabbis on Jewish law in the 20th century. Prior to World War Two, he was already setting up orthodox learning in America. He is well respected by many kiruv organizations, including, but not limited to Ohr Somayach and Aish HaTorah. This sign (see picture), found in Brooklyn and subsequently posted on a message board that I read, shows his words used in order to emphasize the ultra-orthodox community's importance on how women dress. While this sign is not something that would normally be shown to those first learning about orthodox Judaism and certainly wouldn't show up on college campuses, I felt that sharing it on this blog gives a bit of insight into the ultra-orthodox community--those who support, sponsor, and lead kiruv/outreach efforts. The point of the sign is that women must strictly follow the laws of tznius [modesty] otherwise they will be "severely punished." This particular sign states that the "urge for pritzus [immodesty/sluttiness] has found its way even into homes of shomrei Torah, [Torah observant Jews] luring them into wearing short garments." Further down, it is mentioned that even the shape of a bas yisroel's [Jewish woman] knee is forbidden to be seen, whether walking or sitting, and that it is her husband's duty to supervise her to make sure that she is in line with the laws of modesty.
     This is not to say that there is anything inherently wrong with dress codes of a particular community. After all, schools, sports teams, and businesses often have some degree of enforceable guidelines for dress. We expect that when the Devils are out on the ice, they are wearing the appropriate uniform. However, it's doubtful that Marty Brodeur wears his uniform out of fear. While I can understand that in order to be a part of the ultra-orthodox community, one must follow certain guidelines, I find this poster to be disturbing on several levels.

1. Through the use of fear and coercion, women are forced to dress in a way that conforms to the community's strict standards. Telling women that they will be "severely punished" if a lone knee is viewed is a deplorable way to enforce orthodox interpretation of Jewish law. Stating that "in the merit of tznius [modesty]... may we soon merit the redemption" implies that any woman not conforming is keeping moshiach [the messiah] from coming. This sets the stage for community reinforcement of this "rule," by not only men, but women, who then begin to police each other as part of a modesty squad.
2. Men are suddenly saddled with the responsibility of determining whether women are dressing in accordance with the community's standards. The individual woman's autonomy, even in determining what she wears, is removed, in favor of placing all women in a heteronomous state.
3. The very bottom of the poster states that "lengthened clothing results in lengthened years." The threat of death, or a life prematurely cut short, is used to coerce women into following these guidelines for dressing. 
4. The very first statement implies that women cannot control their "urges" to dress immodestly.  

     When researching outreach organizations that approach non-orthodox Jews, not only is it important to understand their motives, but it is important to understand how their teachings can be later used to wield power over those who ultimately join these communities.

Obscuring Women in Ultra-Orthodox Judaism

(Photos reproduced from ynetnews.com. 1)

     Making its way around the internet is the censored version of the Warsaw Ghetto Uprising picture that the Bakehila newspaper recently published. In many ultra-orthodox communities, the blurring or covering the faces of women in pictures is common practice, and may be done in text books, on cereal boxes, in newspapers, and in any place that a female's face is found. Female cartoon faces are also censored. 
     One of the more widely-known occurrences of this type of censorship was in the May 6, 2011 issue of Der Zeitung, a Brooklyn-based Hasidic paper, when Secretary of State Hillary Clinton and Audrey Tomason, the director for counter terrorism, were erased from the picture, in conjunction with the newspaper's adherence to their modesty policy.  Apparently, Bakehila employs a similar policy. But these aren't the only newspapers to adhere to such strictures. The widely read Hebrew and English newspaper, Hamodia, billed as "the daily newspaper for Torah Jewry," also refuses to print pictures of women, due to their strict interpretation of the laws of tznius/modesty.

     Most troubling is that the readership of these newspapers are often the very same people who are looking to increase the numbers of ultra-orthodox Jews by supporting and/or engaging in kiruv efforts. Even more troubling is that those who are targeted by kiruv/outreach workers, have little or no knowledge of the actual goings-on  in the ultra-orthodox communities. Instead, the women and girls targeted by outreach workers are told that women are considered to be "on a higher spiritual plane than men," and that "women are closer to God." Sure, a compelling modern narrative has been created in which men and women are equal but have different roles to fulfill in their lives. Men must keep the laws of the Torah, many of which have specific time constraints. Women are not bound by those particular (time-bound) laws, since it is expected that they are also dealing with such things as child birth, child rearing, etc. New recruits to orthodoxy usually understand this. However, there are many laws that women recruits are not aware of until they are already committed to orthodoxy. While women learn fairly soon of the orthodox dress code, it is not advertised that the rules of modesty are so strict that they are often used, along with guilt, in order to control the women of ultra-orthodox communities. The photograph below is of a sign that was posted after the gruesome murder of eight year old Leiby Kletsky. It urges orthodox Jewish women to dress more modestly in order to be protected by God. Appealing to the women's fear that the little boy's fate may have been due to their collective immodesty, community pressure is exerted on them through the use of guilt, fear of God, and fear of losing God's protection. This notice indirectly blames the women for this little boy's murder. It could have been prevented if only the women were more tznius (modestly attired.)

Sign found in Boro Park, Brooklyn. Photo credit: G.G.

     While it is true that more liberal and more modern orthodox communities do treat women well, don't obscure their faces from their publications, and don't blame unfortunate events on a bare collar bone, these are not the communities that are targeting young people with outreach efforts. Most kiruv organizations are Hareidi/ultra-orthodox institutions that regularly adhere to, and teach these rules to their followers. It is ultra-orthodox kiruv organizations and ultra-orthodox rabbis who push these extremes on their new students, and turn out thinkers who regularly diminish women's presence in society.







1. Photo credit: Ynet News: http://www.ynetnews.com/articles/0,7340,L-4361353,00.html