I just had the pleasure of reading Pop Chasid's blog post "It's a Baal Teshuva's Job to Rebel Against the Orthodox World."I suggest going over there and reading it, but here are some juicy tidbits. Pop Chasid makes the point that once religious, baal teshuvas (BTs, newly religious people) begin to "realize that a culture does not equal truth."1 He talks about how BTs "come to Judaism with a fresh perspective" and how it is their job as BTs "to turn every part of the world inside out, and that includes the orthdox one."2 (As a former BT, this actually explains why many former BTs who ultimately leave orthodoxy still retain ties to the community in hopes of changing it.)
Pop Chasid is right--the job of the BT is to offer new views. What becomes problematic is when kiruv workers look to stifle those views and churn out carbon copies of themselves, instead of giving BTs permission to keep the things that make them unique. Permission, you ask? Yes. I've read complaints from BTs about feeling pressured to give up activities that they love because the rabbis who led them to orthodoxy come from communities who eschew these things. Currently, the new thing to ban is zumba.
In the document issued by the Rabbinical Court of the Ashkenazi Community in Beitar [Israel] and headlined "warning," women are explicitly forbidden from running or taking Zumba classes, deemed indecent because they involve moving parts of the body.
"Recently our city has seen the opening of classes employing the South American 'Zumba' method,” it reads. “After having established that both in form and manner, the activity is entirely at odds with both the ways of the Torah and the holiness of Israel, as are the songs associated to it, I hereby announce that the organization and participation in such classes is forbidden.3”
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| Click to enlarge. Hat tip:VDN |
The Lakewood Scoop (see picture) reported as far back as 2011 that the Gym Lakewood was getting rid of their Zumba class offering because of complaints. You can read the comments here. They're quite entertaining.
For a bit of fun, I highly recommend watching "The Funniest Outreach Speech Ever," given by Hilly Gross back in 1986. He talks about Rabbi Ephraim Buchwald (of Lincoln Square Synagogue) and how he'd send people out to families for Shabbat meals right after services.
Whether we like it or not, our job as baal teshuvas is to always rebel. It is to turn every
part of the world inside out, and that includes the orthodox one. -
See more at:
http://popchassid.com/baal-teshuvas-rebel-orthodox/#sthash.1CyN3EWS.dpuf
we realize that a culture does not equal truth.
we realize that a culture does not equal truth.
04DecIt’s A Baal Teshuva’s Job To Rebel Against The Orthodox World
When
a person, like a baal teshuva, decides to leave his culture and join
another, the beginning of the process is one of rebellion against the
culture he grew up in. A big, healthy part of the process is realizing
all the lies of the world he lived in before. Realizing how empty it is
and why he’s choosing to follow a different path. Often, he’s
rebelling against his own parents. Rebelling against everything he
learned.
The problem is that most baal teshuvas think that the rebellion ends there. I felt like that for a while. I know many others who still feel that way. They think, “Okay, that world I left was bad, so now I need to fit into this new world as much as possible.”
But there is a problem: the orthodox world, unfortunately, is just as messed up as the “outside”.
Most of us don’t realize this at first because we connected through some outside force, like a Chabad house or a yeshiva in Jerusalem or something else. And in that world, we lived in our own culture, sheltered from the universe we were about to enter.
But eventually we run into that truth. We enter the culture and we find out that there are many rabbis that can’t be trusted. We realize that not everyone is as idealistic as the people who brought us into the fold. And that perhaps some of the people that brought us into the fold weren’t as great as we thought they were.
In sum: we realize that a culture does not equal truth.
The problem is that most baal teshuvas think that the rebellion ends there. I felt like that for a while. I know many others who still feel that way. They think, “Okay, that world I left was bad, so now I need to fit into this new world as much as possible.”
But there is a problem: the orthodox world, unfortunately, is just as messed up as the “outside”.
Most of us don’t realize this at first because we connected through some outside force, like a Chabad house or a yeshiva in Jerusalem or something else. And in that world, we lived in our own culture, sheltered from the universe we were about to enter.
But eventually we run into that truth. We enter the culture and we find out that there are many rabbis that can’t be trusted. We realize that not everyone is as idealistic as the people who brought us into the fold. And that perhaps some of the people that brought us into the fold weren’t as great as we thought they were.
In sum: we realize that a culture does not equal truth.
04DecIt’s A Baal Teshuva’s Job To Rebel Against The Orthodox World
When
a person, like a baal teshuva, decides to leave his culture and join
another, the beginning of the process is one of rebellion against the
culture he grew up in. A big, healthy part of the process is realizing
all the lies of the world he lived in before. Realizing how empty it is
and why he’s choosing to follow a different path. Often, he’s
rebelling against his own parents. Rebelling against everything he
learned.
The problem is that most baal teshuvas think that the rebellion ends there. I felt like that for a while. I know many others who still feel that way. They think, “Okay, that world I left was bad, so now I need to fit into this new world as much as possible.”
But there is a problem: the orthodox world, unfortunately, is just as messed up as the “outside”.
Most of us don’t realize this at first because we connected through some outside force, like a Chabad house or a yeshiva in Jerusalem or something else. And in that world, we lived in our own culture, sheltered from the universe we were about to enter.
But eventually we run into that truth. We enter the culture and we find out that there are many rabbis that can’t be trusted. We realize that not everyone is as idealistic as the people who brought us into the fold. And that perhaps some of the people that brought us into the fold weren’t as great as we thought they were.
In sum: we realize that a culture does not equal truth.
The problem is that most baal teshuvas think that the rebellion ends there. I felt like that for a while. I know many others who still feel that way. They think, “Okay, that world I left was bad, so now I need to fit into this new world as much as possible.”
But there is a problem: the orthodox world, unfortunately, is just as messed up as the “outside”.
Most of us don’t realize this at first because we connected through some outside force, like a Chabad house or a yeshiva in Jerusalem or something else. And in that world, we lived in our own culture, sheltered from the universe we were about to enter.
But eventually we run into that truth. We enter the culture and we find out that there are many rabbis that can’t be trusted. We realize that not everyone is as idealistic as the people who brought us into the fold. And that perhaps some of the people that brought us into the fold weren’t as great as we thought they were.
In sum: we realize that a culture does not equal truth.
2. ibid.
3. Sommer, Alison Kaplan. Haredi Rabbis Ban All-Female Zumba Classes. Haaretz. September 9, 2013.
4. Levin, Joe. 'Zumba makes you a whore’ says US Rabbi Zecharia Wallerstein. TOT. December 5, 2013.
Your last sentence said it all: Judaism should not have to destroy a life to enhance it.
ReplyDeleteThe problem with kiruv is that it does.
Whether a BT just "isn't hungry" for something Mom cooked (without mentioning that it's because Mom's food isn't kosher), or doesn't feel like going to the movies, (because most movies show immodestly clothed women, or kissing or “worse”), or decides to go on a free trip to Israel instead of coming home for Spring Break (because a kiruv rabbi pushes a Birthright trip with a kiruv agenda), the result is the same; a child giving up ambitions and important relationships for a cult like religious group.
Many BT's are systematically broken down and their lives destroyed.
The ambitions of college kids are frequently dumbed down for more “meaningful” and “spiritual” pursuits that are in line with Orthodox roles. Examples might include a boy with a gifted ability for public speaking who wanted to become a politician deciding to become a rabbi. A girl who set out to become a doctor deciding that Social Work is fulfilling.
Relationships change dramatically once kids are kiruv’d. Old friends who are not religious or are gay are dropped. Parents who object to the influence of kiruv rabbis are labeled “haters,” “anti-religious,” and “hostile.” BT’s are encouraged to live in cloistered communities away from anyone who might ask “what happened to you?”
Eventually, a BT’s old friends are gone. Their old family is alienated. Their old community doesn’t know what happened to them. Their old lives are destroyed.
Good piece, I can see that Zumba would be threatening for precisely the reasons you found it non-threatening; it's non-threatening for individuals, it is a context that is not the fruit of the community, and it is non-judgmental...'mental' here is the mind of the community, 'judge' is the orientation of maintaining parameters. All the rabbonim need do is allude to fears and assumed consequences that make only the slightest sense.
ReplyDeleteOn the previous comment, not all BTs have a charedi experience and that really should not have to be said. Not everyone was m'karev Chabad, et al ...BT yeshivot and seminaries know full well they can't stay funded on a handful of rich alumni alone! It's old news that many such larger places have programs precisely in a trajectory for those already on college/career paths, some no longer even offer smicha, etc (Shappell's), and facilitate you finding contexts in Israel and/or your home country compatible to your lifestyle ambitions. The institutional economics are such that poor alumni simply can't contribute!
Seminaries/yeshivot aside, I was sold on Torah and moved to very large community outside the NYC orbit in 1998 and left in it all 2011 - the good number of BTs I've known over that time maintained their professional trajectories to one degree or another (especially married families), Charedim and r/lw Modox. The *family* economics are such that being 'poor' simply doesn't pay (and doesn't make for shalom bayit and lifestyle contentment), except Israel.
Noe (FB group, OTD)
Think of it this way: you have a new hire at your company. You think you've got a geat company and that the new guy is pretty luck to land a position in it and you're probably right but after a few weeks he starts pointing out some design flaws in the way the office is set up, some of the policies, etc. Nothing big at first but you can respond one of two ways.
ReplyDeleteIf you're a secure person you'd sit down and want to get his impression of the concerns he has. You could address them and explain where you think he's wrong and should adjust his expectations and where he's right and yes there's things you could do differently.
If you're insecure, however, you'll get defensive. Who is this rookie to you about your company? What does he think, that you've been waiting around for him to discover America? No, you'll sit him down, explain to him that this is an excellent company with excellent policies and if he wants to fit in he'll strictly adhere to them, otherwise he simply won't work out.
A slightly more restrained version of the Zumba speech, but it still slut-shames and includes uncalled-for references to race. http://www.ishtetl.com/index.php?/topic/2961-tznius-overload/?p=103351
ReplyDeleteThanks for the link and for your comment, Warren.
DeleteAccording to Rav Yaakov Kamenetsky, the goal of the kiruv professional should be simply to help the baal teshuvah take on the mitzvos. He should not impose conformity or eradicate the essence of the person. Rav Yaakov said that it is important that the BT feel normal. He said that, for example, the typical BT will not feel normal if he does not complete his or her college education. Thus, he or she should not be discouraged from doing so.
ReplyDelete