tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-39655060362562626992024-02-06T21:41:42.795-05:00Jewish Outreach: What Your Rabbi Isn't Telling YouJewish Outreach, or "kiruv" in Hebrew, often targets college students and young professionals in an effort to make them orthodox. This blog exists to educate students and their parents about kiruv, outreach professionals, their supporters, their practices, and their motives.bechttp://www.blogger.com/profile/16146699715760197131noreply@blogger.comBlogger89125tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3965506036256262699.post-28378367357771019482018-05-04T22:25:00.001-04:002018-05-04T22:25:15.737-04:00Guest Post: A Concerned Jewish Mother Speaks Out About Kiruv<span style="font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif;">Guest Post<br />Thanks to TB for submitting her account of her child's experiences with aggressive ultra-orthodox Jewish outreach.</span><br />
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Is the ultra-Orthodox Jewish Outreach movement “brainwashing” students?</div>
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By a concerned Jewish mother</div>
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<span style="font-size: x-large;"><b>O</b></span>ur family practiced Conservative Judaism. My son graduated valedictorian from high school and went on to the University of Pennsylvania where he was accepted into the Wharton school of business. This was the school of his dreams and economic and finance were his career aspirations.<br />
Our son was a person who was always surrounded by a warm family and many friends. He excelled in almost everything he tried and he was the kind of person who always put other people’s needs before his own.<br />
During his time at the University of Pennsylvania, he was active at the gym, joined a fraternity, and excelled academically. He won an award secured a position at a prestigious investment bank in New York. My son was at the cutting edge of his field, with a bright future and a role model to others.<br />
But then he became involved in Jewish outreach or Kiruv organization named Meor. During his second year of college my son was approached by Rabbi Shmuel Lynn of Meor. He was offered a large sum of money (for a college student) to attend a weekly lecture series, where he was supposed to become in touch with his “Jewish roots.” He was recruited into the so-called “Maimonides Leadership Program,” which purportedly would make him somehow become a “better person” and “successful leader”. He would attend weekly seminars and Friday “Shabbats” with other students who were raised within secular Jewish families or families that practiced Conservative Judaism or Union of Reform Judaism. These seminars were led by Rabbi Shmuel Lynn and culminated in a “FREE” trip to Israel and Poland where they were to learn about the Holocaust, the existence of God, and the importance of getting in touch with your Jewish roots.<br />
When our son came home from the Israel trip, he had changed. He began to keep Kosher. He began to isolate himself slightly from his fraternity and his friends. He began to become more heavily involved in the Meor program. After graduating the Wharton School of Business at the University of Pennsylvania our son sat down with his father and me one night while at a Sushi restaurant and announced, “I decided I don’t want to take my job at the investment bank. Instead I want to study in a Yeshiva in Israel – at Machon Yaacov.” <br />
We pleaded with him to at least spend a few years working at the investment bank before make such an abrupt change. His father and I asked him if he would at least work for two years. And if he still wanted to give the Yeshiva a try after that we would be more likely to support it. He reluctantly agreed.<br />
Our son moved to Manhattan and started working in the city for the investment bank. He lived with one of his fraternity brothers who also graduated from the University of Pennsylvania.<br />
My son went to weekly Shabbatons in New York and would met regularly with local Rabbis of the community. After one year of working at the investment bank he became involved in the West Side Kollel, Kollel Yisroel VeShimshon, where he met Rabbi Mordechai Prager. Shortly after that our son’s life took a drastic downward spiral.<br />
First, our son declared that he would no longer work on Shabbat. And that he must leave work early to go and study at the Kollel. He also broke off an engagement after Rabbi Prager told him that he must honor “Chok Hanegiya” and was not allowed to be in the same room with his fiancé until they were married.<br />
His relationship with his family also deteriorated. Our son’s behavior became erratic and he would run away in the middle of a sentence. He neglected his father, even when he became ill with lymphoma. He lost all care and interest in his niece and nephews.<br />
Rabbi Prager and Rabbi Prager’s wife recommended that my son take time to study in Israel. He was then introduced to another rabbi in New York, whose name he never disclosed. This rabbi recommended that he go to study at Yeshiva Tehilas Shlomo, an ultra-Orthodox Yeshiva school run by a group of Haredi Litvak Jews. Our son was told by the rabbis not to disclose under any circumstances where he was going. He was also told to lie to his parents and told us that he would only be going for two months. And that he would be back soon to go back to work after completing two months of Yeshiva study in Israel.<br />
Our son left in the middle of August 2017 to Yeshiva Tehilas Shlomo in Jerusalem, which is headed by Rabbi Pinchas Leibovic. At the end of September our son announced that he was not coming back. Not in one year. Not in two years. Now our son announced that he would stay at the Yeshiva for at least five years. He had no intention of going back to work or coming back to live in the United States. <br />
My husband attempted to reach out to Rabbi Pinchas Leibovic. But his calls were not returned. My daughter’s husband tried to reach Rabbi Liebovic and after a dozen attempts, a disgruntled man picked up the phone and said “I can see why he left his family. If you were my family I would leave too.”<br />
In December 2017 our family took a trip to Israel to visit a sick family member. Our son told us that he would not be able to meet with anyone or see anyone because it would cause too much conflict.<br />
We decided to go to the Yeshiva he attended, which is located at Ramat Hagolan 57 in Jerusalem. We found our son living in a run-down apartment. He had not showered, was unshaved, pale, dressed in a black hat, white shirt, and a black suit, soiled and covered with stains. He looked unkempt and dirty. His face showed no emotion and instead he had a flat affect, and appeared subdued and depressed. He agreed to go to a restaurant, but would not eat any food. <br />
At the end of our visit he thanked me, his father, sister, and niece for coming and gave them a hug.<br />
We were able to persuade him to come home for a visit during Pesach. He returned home in 2018 six months after beginning his studies at the Yeshiva. Our son planned to visit us for two weeks. Immediately after coming off the plane, his brother-in-law noticed that he was quite withdrawn. Our son seemed restless and agitated in the car when music was playing and walked with his head down, looking at the ground. When he arrived home he announced that no one could enter his room to keep it free of Hametz. <br />
We soon found out that the restrictions set up by his rabbis were endless, extreme, and very difficult to accommodate. He was not allowed to eat in restaurants, even if they claimed to be Glatt Kosher and were in Orthodox religious enclaves, including New Jersey and New York. Our son obsessively inspected every piece of food for very specific Hekshers. He would not use a phone, not even to navigate when he had to drive. He would not look out the window.<br />
We agreed to all of his demands as best we could. We koshered our oven, even catered strictly Glatt kosher food and purged every bit of hametz per his instructions, following every rule he had been told by his rabbis.<br />
But our son stopped talking to us. He would only read and study the Talmud. He woke up at 5 AM, dressed in a suit and tie, never showered, and left for the nearest ultra-Orthodox synagogue to pray or to some Hasidic Yeshiva to study. And when he was home he would pray by himself, reading his Talmud and isolating himself from everyone that was not ultra-Orthodox, including his family and old friends. He also said bizarre and completely uncharacteristic things. For example, during a Seder he mentioned that women do not need to use a pillow because “Women don’t need to recline, only men do.” This was rude and confrontational, which is totally unlike our son.<br />
The rabbis from Yeshiva Tehilas Shlomo called our son as soon as Pesach was over. They wanted to check up on him to make sure he was following their restrictions and regulations in our home. After those phone calls, our son’s mood changed for the worse. He became stressed, overwhelmed, agitated, and restless. He was ill-tempered and curt with us. He stayed in his bedroom totally isolating himself. He acted depressed and did not readily communicate with us.<br />
We were very worried about his behavior and asked our son if he would sit down and have a serious family discussion to address our concerns.<br />
The next day, he announced that he was unable to stay in our home, eat any of the kosher food we had purchased, and was so uncomfortable that it was necessary that his visit be cut short. Instead of a two-week visit he ended up staying for only one week. <br />
We begged our son and pleaded for him to stay and talk with us and have some quality time devoted to family interaction and discussion. He repeatedly refused. <br />
My son was living in fear. He acted like he was in a state of horror. His mind was not his own. <br />
Our son was transformed by Meor and a network of “Jewish Outreach” rabbis that completely changed his life through their undue influence. He was once independent, analytical, well-informed, free thinking, happy-go-lucky soul. Now he has been distorted into a miserable, tired, rigid, condescending, racist, and empty person dependent upon his “leaders” for every basic life decision. <br />
Beware of the Jewish Outreach movement promulgated by ultra-Orthodox rabbis like Rabbi Mordechai Prager. What they call getting in touch with your “Jewish roots” seems more like so-called “cult brainwashing” than legitimate Jewish studies. They recruit on college and university campuses much like controversial religious groups called “cults” preying upon vulnerable and naïve students. Everyone should be more aware about who they are and how they negatively affect families. Hopefully our story will help to enlighten people and serve as a warning.<br />
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<br />bechttp://www.blogger.com/profile/16146699715760197131noreply@blogger.com49tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3965506036256262699.post-3264908897677748012016-08-11T22:14:00.003-04:002016-08-11T23:08:53.738-04:00Children of BTs and Converts: How They're Really Treated<br />
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<span style="font-size: x-large;"><b>I</b></span> posted the link to <a href="http://habayitah.blogspot.co.uk/2016/08/children-of-baalei-teshuva-converts.html?m=1" target="_blank">this article</a> on this blog's<a href="https://www.facebook.com/stopkiruvnow/?fref=nf" target="_blank"> Facebook page</a> yesterday but it was too important not to include a brief post about it here.<br />
I can only hope that "<a href="http://habayitah.blogspot.co.uk/2016/08/children-of-baalei-teshuva-converts.html?m=1" target="_blank">Children of Baalei Teshuva / Converts / Something to Think About During These 9 Days</a>"goes viral. Parents need to read this. Potential recruits being missionized by ultra-orthodox kiruv professionals need to read this. The frum world needs to read this. People considering an orthodox conversion need to read this. <br />
In a nutshell, converts are supposed to welcomed into the community. They're not be reminded that they are converts. Baalei teshuvah are also supposedly on a higher level than those who are frum from birth, or FFB, since they supposedly overcame more obstacles and changed their way of life. Regardless, the frum community has always found a way to treat gerim (converts) and BTs (newly religious) with distrust and disdain, allowing and encouraging community members to treat them as if they are second class citizens.<br />
The children of BTs and gerim often face social and educational hurdles from a community that once pretended to accept their parents in order to convince them to become frum. Kids are often not accepted into certain schools due to their parents' status as BTs or converts; some children are bullied in the schools that do accept them. Often these children face further social discrimination from orthodox parents who fear that their kids will somehow be negatively influenced by a family that has not always been frum.<br />
I have written about this before on this blog. I have sent articles and queries to other publications about this phenomenon, and about the issues within kiruv. The frum world doesn't want to hear it and the non-orthodox Jewish world doesn't believe it--not until their children are scooped up by the friendly rabbi on campus and indoctrinated into this lifestyle. Read the article. Share that article and others that shed light on what's really going on in the world of kiruv. Let's work together to educate people about the truth behind deceptive ultra-orthodox Jewish outreach.bechttp://www.blogger.com/profile/16146699715760197131noreply@blogger.com21tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3965506036256262699.post-84159289470469707002016-07-14T20:51:00.000-04:002016-07-18T15:39:03.520-04:00How They Take Custody of Your Kids 101: Recipe for AlienationGuest Post by Anonymous<br />
Note from Rebecca M. Ross: <i>Divorce is never easy. In the non-orthodox world, divorce can be traumatic for both children and adults as they experience the dissolution of the family unit. But in the frum world, if one spouse leaves orthodoxy and the couple divorces, bitter and expensive custody battles often ensue, children are alienated from the no longer religious parent, and whole communities take it upon themselves to shun the person who left. This recipe for pain and alienation is described in this piece. Those of us working on the <b>Jewish Outreach: What Your Rabbi Isn't Telling You</b> blog are grateful for the opportunity to reprint these words.</i><br />
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<b><span style="font-size: x-large;"> Q</span></b>uick way and strategy they take full custody of your kids 101 and how one can easily fall for it--<br />
1. They send very strong attorney letters to you saying you are mentally
unstable and a danger to your kids. Very strong and intimidating and
outlining clearly some crazy examples and such strong language that you
are now very scared.<br />
2. You attempt to get an attorney and you
are told you need a massive retainer $$$$$ and the attorney tells you
this won't be an easy case and may go on for years and this retainer
will only last a few weeks.<br />
3. You look for a free attorney and
find out that is easier said then done and they are all lame and don't
return calls and are so bad that you are guaranteed to lose.<br />
4.
During all this time you are broke. Trying to find work and realize that
you will make less then enough to pay rent and actually eat too.... <br />
5. They have filed something with the court or they just simply aren't
allowing you to see them and you have no recourse so while this is going
on you do not see your kids or maybe you see them sporadically and you
are starting to freak out.<br />
6. You either hired regular attorney
and are running out of funds and desperate and it's dragging on and
retainer is almost gone you have no more funds for next payment and
there is no end in sight or you hired free attorney and see they suck
and kids are slipping away... time is passing....<br />
7. Your ex (with
financial help from anyone who decides to help save the kids <i>neshamas</i>)
nasty attorneys are firing scary bomb letters to the court and you and
you feel doomed.<br />
8. IN MIDDLE OF ALL THIS... you get a call from a "kind" rabbi who wishes to HELP--<br />
THIS IS THE KICKER.<br />
He offers to make court go away... and will try really hard to help you
and "convince" your ex to agree via Bais Din and he (this Rabbi) has a
heart and wants to help from the bottom of his "heart" now he
says... look you aren't as frum as you were and your house may have a TV,
etc. so I propose that you see your kids not on shabbos or yom tov... you understand I will have to really work on your ex to him/her to
agree to you seeing the children at all and get this concession and I
will do it bec[ause] I really "care" about you and want you and the kids to be
close. <br />
Now in the process, you no longer will have to pay attorneys and we will agree to this in the beis din...he says.<br />
You are broke--<br />
Want to see your kids desperately <br />
You can't continue paying attorneys that can guarantee nothing <br />
So you agree<br />
It is binding... in court of law.<br />
Now since you have to work you get a few hours at night on a weekday<br />
And Sunday... to see your kids. This is better then nothing and you
aren't guaranteed this good deal with your attorneys that you can't pay
for anyways... so you agree. <br />
Soon they say your house is not suitable kosher, TV blah blah so no visitation in the house...<br />
You can take them anywhere else <br />
Pizza shop<br />
Zoo<br />
Etc. Kosher places... No movies of course.<br />
Then Sunday hours become less and less<br />
9-5 becomes 10-4 and then 11-3 and then 12-2<br />
After a while...<br />
They have bombarded the kids against you. <br />
Alienated them<br />
Brainwashed them<br />
The kids are sullen<br />
The kids won't talk much <br />
The kids don't show affection anymore<br />
Midweek visits are gone bec[ause] they say there is too much homework and
kids are tired after long day at yeshiva... so you only see them Sunday.<br />
More time goes by... older kids act angry and nasty and start refusing
to come... You may be relieved because they are acting so hurtful
towards you anyways and it is so painful....<br />
You can't force them anyway. <br />
The nice rabbi says "oy we can't force him, what can I do?" He does nothing of course--this is all part of the plan.<br />
The younger ones get older and do the same in short order....<br />
Meanwhile you went through hell thinking up fun activities and cried a
million tears and buying gifts they show no appreciation for.... No phone
calls are returned by kids....<br />
This is the recipe.bechttp://www.blogger.com/profile/16146699715760197131noreply@blogger.com9tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3965506036256262699.post-24585610604898349732016-06-26T11:31:00.001-04:002016-06-27T22:09:51.501-04:00Aish Issues Apology for Controversial Meme, FB Users Still Angered<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
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<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgzmI6FUdVp9Z00rt_ZjK0yCCtEs54M9jP-_o-qaW_HX1-7i6StkHJuPgqCizhDtBSVFfUO4V5vL9P8rEvbzoB407-TfFBO2LvNtJ-krepr8jXJj5_wzmbpjAy3J9Dvu2xshy-QVapcbL-z/s1600/silence+equals+consent+aish.png" style="clear: left; float: left; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="320" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgzmI6FUdVp9Z00rt_ZjK0yCCtEs54M9jP-_o-qaW_HX1-7i6StkHJuPgqCizhDtBSVFfUO4V5vL9P8rEvbzoB407-TfFBO2LvNtJ-krepr8jXJj5_wzmbpjAy3J9Dvu2xshy-QVapcbL-z/s320/silence+equals+consent+aish.png" width="224" /></a></div>
<span style="font-size: x-large;"><b> O</b></span>n
Friday, June 24, 2016, right before Shabbat in Israel, ultra-orthodox
kiruv group Aish HaTorah's Facebook page posted an internet meme that
quickly spread to <a href="http://stopkiruvnow.blogspot.com/2016/06/outrage-ensues-after-aish-hatorah-posts.html" target="_blank">160 shares and a multitude of comments chastising them for their insensitivity</a> over the 25 hours that Aish.com was unable to monitor their Facebook page. The story was picked up by internet sites including <a href="https://www.facebook.com/frumwatch/" target="_blank">Frum Watch</a> and <a href="http://www.patheos.com/blogs/friendlyatheist/2016/06/25/orthodox-jewish-group-posts-disturbing-image-on-facebook-saying-silence-equals-consent/?utm_source=SilverpopMailing&utm_medium=email&utm_campaign=friendlyatheist_062516UTC050611_daily&utm_content&spMailingID=51691593&spUserID=MTI0ODY3Nzg0NjgzS0&spJobID=943681809&spReportId=OTQzNjgxODA5S0" target="_blank">The Friendly Atheist</a> during the hours that Aish's page lacked supervision. Aish has since removed the meme and issued an apology stating: <br />
<blockquote class="tr_bq">
Aish.com
apologizes for the graphic that was posted before Shabbat. The meaning
of the Talmudic quote was meant to inspire people NOT to remain silent
in the face of evil. Given the photo and lack of context, we regret
posting something that contained an alternative offensive meaning. It
was not our intention; we goofed.</blockquote>
While many were
quick to forgive the massive, well-funded international organization for
their "goof," others were less than thrilled with their apology.
Commenter Miriam Lichter wrote: <span data-ft="{"tn":"K"}"><span class="UFICommentBody">"I'm
sorry but saying we goofed is not a sincere apology. This picture
obviously was a trigger for many women who experienced something awful
in their lives and the word 'goofed' minimizes and trivializes their
experiences. Try for something a little more sincere." <br /> Others shared her sentiments. </span></span><br />
Lisa Klayman Blonder, who had commented several hours before Ms. Lichter, stated "<span data-ft="{"tn":"K"}"><span class="UFICommentBody">I
don't think saying you goofed on a mistake as huge as the one you
posted on Friday is an apology. Goofed is for a tiny insignificant
error, you error on Friday was much larger than that!" </span></span><br />
<span data-ft="{"tn":"K"}"><span class="UFICommentBody">
It seems obvious that Aish just wants this fiasco to go away. Commenter
Yardena Winegust asked Aish "Also, why don't you mention what message
you accidentally conveyed?" Aish.com did not post a reply.<br />
Controversy erupted again when Yehuda R. Rabinowitz suggested that Aish
have 24/7/365 monitoring of their site, and that anything less is
irresponsible. While one commenter dismissed the error because of
Sabbath observance, </span></span>Facebook user Mona Boeger explained that "<span data-ft="{"tn":"K"}"><span class="UFICommentBody">Arutz Sheva is also Orthodox but has people in diffrrent (sic) countries run
the web site during Shabbat because of the time difference, Aish is
large enough to do the same. People were triggered by this photo, some
probably revictimized. Sorry, they need to be more responsible!" Sexual abuse survivor Olivia Bender responded:</span></span><br />
<blockquote class="tr_bq">
<span data-offset-key="b7rsv-0-0"><span data-text="true"><span class="UFICommentBody _1n4g">I
was revictimized by that photo. I saw it commented to please take it
down. I went and cried in my room and remembered the gag around my
mouth. Trying to scream and it coming out muffled sob.... my comment was
an excuse for them yes. But i prayed about
it. I know that they have the best intentions. And they didn't mean it
the way it came off. They also apologized. I expect no person, no
company to be perfect. But they were sweet to apologize. Because i didnt
even get that much from the people that hurt me in the first place. Im
sorry if this was a bit much for you. But you just don't know. Walking
in forgiveness and understanding that sometimes its better to just
forget. Especially when you actually got an apology.</span></span></span></blockquote>
<span data-offset-key="b7rsv-0-0"><span data-text="true">While Ms. Bender may be quick to forgive, she cannot possibly speak for everyone.</span></span><br />
<span data-offset-key="b7rsv-0-0"><span data-text="true">
Aish HaTorah is an outreach group that seeks to recruit young people to
ultra-orthodox observance and can be found on college campuses and in
areas with young professionals. Because they deal with non-orthodox
people on a regular basis, they have a certain level of responsibility
to be </span></span><br />
<span data-offset-key="b7rsv-0-0"><span data-text="true"><span data-offset-key="b7rsv-0-0"><span data-text="true">aware
of not just
the goings-on in the frum world, but the complexities of the
non-orthodox world. They dropped the ball on this one, making people
question just how much this organization actually cares for its
followers and potential followers. </span></span>Gone are the
days when potential BTs (baalei teshuvah/returnees to observance) can
simply be wooed with the local kiruv rabbi's knowledge of baseball
players or rock music. Like the Jewish parable that discusses the
results of the spread of gossip in terms of the impossible task of
trying to gather the scattered feathers of a ripped feather bed, Aish
will never be able to gather all of the feathers of pain that their
irresponsible posting has caused.<br />(Click on images to enlarge.)</span></span><br />
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<b>Updated</b> with the following comment photos. Some of the comments defending Aish are very disturbing and seem to be from Aish supporters.<br />
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bechttp://www.blogger.com/profile/16146699715760197131noreply@blogger.com3tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3965506036256262699.post-59174719261035941202016-06-24T18:39:00.000-04:002016-06-25T21:49:01.014-04:00Outrage Ensues After Aish HaTorah Posts Controversial Facebook Meme<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
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<b><span style="font-size: x-large;"> O</span></b>n Friday, June 24, 2016, the ultra-orthodox Aish HaTorah kiruv group's <a href="https://www.facebook.com/238278610822/photos/a.10150313144875823.344938.238278610822/10153650384230823/?type=3&theater" target="_blank">Facebook page</a>
posted a meme stating that "Silence equals consent" along with a picture
of a young woman covering her face. Facebook users immediately exercised more than
silence, berating the international outreach group for lacking
sensitivity and common sense in posting a picture and quote with no context that evokes thoughts of rape, sexual abuse, sexual harassment, and unwanted sexual contact. <br />
Readers of the Facebook page expressed their immense displeasure with Aish's post, rebuking them for a lack of sensitivity. Those knowledgeable in Talmud tried explaining the original post. Commenter Yardena Winegust wrote "<span data-ft="{"tn":"K"}"><span class="UFICommentBody">One translation says "silence is regarded as admission" and then added "</span></span><span data-ft="{"tn":"K"}"><span class="UFICommentBody"><span data-ft="{"tn":"K"}"><span class="UFICommentBody">Shame on you. The choice of image, and choice of quote is exceptionally triggering to those who have experienced sexual assault</span></span>." Others tried to be understanding of this horrific blunder. Shana Aaronson</span></span><span data-ft="{"tn":"K"}"><span class="UFICommentBody"> stated "Please
remove this immediately. I assume (hope) that this was not your
intention but this quote translated like this, especially together with
this picture, is irresponsible, insensitive, triggering, and
outrageously inappropriate.</span></span>" Commenter Meranda Prediger w<span data-ft="{"tn":"K"}"><span class="UFICommentBody">rote:</span></span><br />
<blockquote class="tr_bq">
<span data-ft="{"tn":"K"}"><span class="UFICommentBody">This
was very poorly thought out. In fact, I dare suggest it was not thought
out at all. The quote relates to moral conduct and the need to stand up
for what is right as saying nothing is the same as supporting. This
image, combined with the quote and no further explanation inserts the
wrong context. It is a very dangerous image as is right now.</span></span></blockquote>
(More comments can be read in the pictures on this post. Click to enlarge each section.)<br />
<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhcf9iZ62Z5UPLTBlBHiwJ42aAu-wZ-plMoJP3VxTA2D3E3VgP65JR5oT327JMYLVSYDroUTOLLGRqgHaQich_0WXMOfIlvWptL0pGvfpS_HkSIRJUgyZaqkjiFdXCYluPhxMwHwp-SVWJI/s1600/silence+2+aish.png" imageanchor="1" style="clear: left; float: left; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="400" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhcf9iZ62Z5UPLTBlBHiwJ42aAu-wZ-plMoJP3VxTA2D3E3VgP65JR5oT327JMYLVSYDroUTOLLGRqgHaQich_0WXMOfIlvWptL0pGvfpS_HkSIRJUgyZaqkjiFdXCYluPhxMwHwp-SVWJI/s400/silence+2+aish.png" width="288" /></a> This PR disaster is more than just a little mistake on social media. It's indicative of a clear lack of understanding of the world outside of Aish's religious bubble. In a time when images on social media spread like wildfire, Aish has shown that they are not at all in step with the world outside of their community--even though it is the people of that world who they are trying to recruit. Scarier still is that Aish HaTorah serves as an umbrella for groups like <span class="st">MEOR Maimonides Leaders Fellowship which exist on college campuses throughout the United States. A mistake of this magnitude doesn't just reach a couple of people on Facebook. It travels back to college students and their parents--who are possible donors to Aish's many programs. It travels to people who will now be wary of Aish's mission, and it travels to people like myself--who are critical of ultra-orthodox kiruv. </span><br />
While many users called for the outreach group to remove the picture immediately, the picture remained posted (and, at the time of this post, is still online), most likely due to the onset of Shabbat in Israel, where it assumed the post was made. <br />
<span style="font-size: large;"><b>Update</b></span>: Thank you to <a href="http://www.patheos.com/blogs/friendlyatheist/2016/06/25/orthodox-jewish-group-posts-disturbing-image-on-facebook-saying-silence-equals-consent/#disqus_thread" target="_blank">Hemant Mehta, at the Friendly Atheist</a>, for writing about this and quoting this blog. At the time of this update, Aish.com's post has been shared 160 times and remains posted.<br /> <span style="font-size: large;"><b>Update 2</b></span>: At the time of this update, Aish.com's Facebook page had been updated with an apology reading:<br />
<blockquote class="tr_bq">
Aish.com
apologizes for the graphic that was posted before Shabbat. The meaning
of the Talmudic quote was meant to inspire people NOT to remain silent
in the face of evil. Given the photo and lack of context, we regret
posting something that contained an alternative offensive meaning. It
was not our intention; we goofed.</blockquote>
While I'm not a fan of Aish HaTorah, I'm relieved to see that they had the sense to issue an apology after posting something that was so hurtful to so many. A screen shot has been included at the end of this post. Click the graphic to enlarge.<br />
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<br />bechttp://www.blogger.com/profile/16146699715760197131noreply@blogger.com7tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3965506036256262699.post-14720393384497715432016-03-19T12:23:00.000-04:002016-03-19T12:45:42.692-04:00Cutting Ties to Family and Friends in the Name of Kiruv <span style="font-size: x-large;"><b>W</b></span>hile some rabbis claim that they would never influence ba'alei teshuva/newly religious to sever familial ties, <span class="text14" id="article_content">Sephardi Chief Rabbi of Israel Yitzhak Yosef believes in just the opposite approach. Earlier this week, Ynetnews reported that Yosef </span><span class="text14" id="article_content">"has called for
religious Jews to distance their children from secular or merely
traditionally Jewish family members, and even to prevent their children
from meeting them."<span style="font-size: x-small;">1</span> </span><span class="text14" id="article_content"><span class="text14" id="article_content">The Chief Rabbi stated "There are ba'alei
tshuva (once-secular Jews who have become observant) with non-religious
families who take their small, 7-year-old, 8-year-old children to visit [non-religious family],
and this influences the children."<span style="font-size: x-small;">2</span> His concern is that secular influences such as TV and interaction with non-orthodox family will ultimately pave the way for kids to leave orthodoxy. <br /> The rabbi's words were countered by </span></span><span class="text14" id="article_content">Rabbi Refael "Rafi"
Feuerstein, the co-chairman of the rabbinical organization Tzohar, [who] criticized the chief rabbi's approach and said, "The fruits of a
disconnected and anxious education are that we treat the secular public
with arrogance and contempt . . . and only increases polarization and hatred in
people."<span style="font-size: x-small;">3</span>
</span><br />
Adding to the difficulty of changing one's life to become orthodox, the Chief Rabbi now wants BTs (ba'alei teshuva) to cause more strife and anger within their families. Bad enough that BTs have already informed their families that they cannot eat on their dishes or drive to them on the holidays, that they will not see them or take their calls over Shabbat, that they've given up many activities that they previously enjoyed with extended family, that their lifestyle is hugely different from that of their parents, and that they've taken on a strict interpretation of Jewish practice, they now are expected to sever bonds with their non-orthodox family to ensure their children's <i>spiritual safety</i>. <br />
In Margery I. Schwartz's book "What's Up with the Hard Core Jewish People? An Irreverent Yet Informative Approach to Judaism and Religious Devotion From A Reform Jewish Mother's Perspective" she talks about Aish HaTorah's grip on her son and how the yeshiva <br />
<blockquote class="tr_bq">
encourage[s] students to reject their upbringing if it's not according to Torah. They believe that they are reprogramming our children in the proper path. Aish doesn't focus on the fact that a person from a non-Orthodox background most often cannot be integrated into the ultra-orthodox world without destroying old friendships and family connections.<span style="font-size: x-small;">4</span> <span style="font-size: small;"><span style="font-weight: normal;"></span></span></blockquote>
<span style="font-size: small;"><span style="font-weight: normal;"> While some readers might be thinking that Rabbi Yitzhak Yosef's words and even those of Margery Schwartz are inaccurate and that kiruv rabbis do not promote or justify severing ties with non-orthodox family, it only takes a Google search to find various blog posts suggesting just the opposite. Even Chabad Rabbi Tzvi Freeman's addresses a reader's question asking why a close long-term friendship suddenly collapsed as one of the friends became increasingly orthodox. Freeman states:</span></span><br />
<blockquote class="tr_bq">
Many of us have been through this. You fall in love with a different
way of living, rituals, study -- a whole new wave of life washes over
you -- and your only way to deal with it is by blocking out the rest of
the world. I've seen it happen not only to people getting into their
Judaism, but with musicians, artists, career people, politicians.
Although, yes, religion may be the most encompassing of all.</blockquote>
<blockquote>
It's a sign of an earnest personality, someone who puts his all into
anything he does. You can't achieve a total immersion into anything
without first letting go of everything else. Perhaps it was that same
earnestness that allowed such a strong bond between the two of you in
younger years. This is a person who, wherever he is, all of him is
there.<span style="font-size: x-small;">5</span></blockquote>
Freeman blames the BT's personality for alienating his friend and assumes it's because he is, perhaps, very earnest. He says it's the same thing that any person who is passionate about something might do. But Freeman does admit that this alienation may be more extreme when it comes from religion. The one thing that Freeman doesn't address is whether people becoming orthodox are being influenced, either subtly or overtly, to sever relationships that kiruv professionals and their organizations may feel are, in some way, not kosher.<br />
When we look back at <span class="text14" id="article_content">Sephardi Chief Rabbi of Israel Yitzhak Yosef's concern about being influenced by those who aren't orthodox, it seems like his ideas aren't so shocking. They're just the same extremist views that other kiruv organizations hold. The only difference is that he seems to have no problem saying them out loud.</span><br />
<span style="font-size: x-small;"><span style="font-weight: normal;">1. <a href="http://www.ynetnews.com/articles/0,7340,L-4777471,00.html" target="_blank">Nachshoni, Kobi. Chief Rabbi: Keep children away from secular family. </a>Ynetnews. March 13, 2016.<br />2. Ibid.<br />3. Ibid.<br />4. Schwartz, Margery I. </span>What's Up with the Hard Core Jewish People? An Irreverent Yet
Informative Approach to Judaism and Religious Devotion From A Reform
Jewish Mother's Perspective. US. 2006. p. 18.<br />5. <a href="http://www.chabad.org/library/article_cdo/aid/1221635/jewish/My-Orthodox-Friend-Cut-Me-Off.htm" target="_blank">Freeman, Tzvi. My Orthodox Friend Cut Me Off!</a> Chabad.org.</span>bechttp://www.blogger.com/profile/16146699715760197131noreply@blogger.com23tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3965506036256262699.post-50807964510100851212016-03-13T10:07:00.001-04:002016-03-13T10:15:09.279-04:00Mark's Story<style type="text/css">P { margin-bottom: 0.08in; }</style>
<span style="font-size: x-large;"><b>I</b></span>'d like to introduce Mark*, a long-time reader who contacted
me a while back to tell me of his experiences with deceptive Jewish
outreach. Mark is in his twenties and was previously targeted by
kiruv professionals when his best friend began looking into options
to go on a second Birthright trip. In this piece, he explains what
happened to Jake* before, during, and after his encounter with the
Maimonides (Meor) courses and Aish HaTorah.<br />
*Names and identifying details have been changed to protect the
privacy of individuals.
<br />
<br />
<br />
<br />
Mark's Story<br />
The kiruv journey started on our Birthright trip a few
years ago. I went with my best friend Jake, as well as a few other
people from our school. But it's not what you think. we were there to
experience Israel and have a good time. There was absolutely no
proselytizing of any kind on this trip. There wasn't even the
slightest hint of deceptive kiruv. Most of my fellow classmates and
new friends when back home and went back to their normal lives, as
did we. The day after the trip, I went out with Jake and some other
friends. We all agreed that we enjoyed the trip and went back to our
regular lives in the weeks after.<br />
I think I should
introduce and explain my relationship with Jake before going any
further in this post. I was born in the former Soviet Union, and came
here when I was four years old. Both of my parents are Jewish and I
was raised in a Russian-Jewish home. My family idn't consider
themselves very religious. We attended High Holiday services at the
local Chabad and I had my Bar Mitzvah, but that's about as far as my
Judaism went. As with a lot of Russian Jews I know, my identity is
"Jewish by association." I consider myself Jewish, most of
my friends are Jewish, I only date Jewish girls, I go to High Holiday
services, but that's about as far as things go. My friend Jake, on
the other hand, was born in the United States. His great grandparents
came to this country from Eastern Europe, so he considers himself
American. His family goes to a Reform synagogue for High Holiday
services, and that's about it. Aside from his family paying expensive
membership fees, our families were pretty similar in terms of our
commitment to Judaism. Neither of us kept kosher, observed the
Sabbath, or did anything like that. Jake and I met in high school. We
had been inseparable since we'd met--we did everything together. We
were lucky enough to attend the same state school and our friendship
continued to grow as strong as ever. We attended Hillel together
where we met a bunch of Jewish people. It was a nice place to hang
out and there was no pressure to become any more religious. When our
Hillel director told us she would be leading a Birthright trip, we
decided to all go together.<br />
So what happened after our
Birthright trip? I know you're expecting me to say that Jake had some
sort of life-changing revelation that suddenly made him become an
orthodox Jew during our trip. But no, that's definitely not the case.
There was only one thing that changed. Jake wanted to go on another
Birthright trip. But unfortunately, once you go on Birthright, you
can't go again. But that didn't stop him; he went out to search for
another free trip to Israel. That set the wheels in motion. <br />
A few months after our trip, Jake called to tell me some exciting
news. He found out about another trip to Israel! Now, it wasn't free,
but it was very cheap, about $500. The trip was supposed to be just
like Birthright, with lots of activities and touring. He didn't give
any more details except that he would be meeting for coffee with the
rabbi he contacted regarding the trip. I didn't think anything of it.
After his meeting, Jake told me that he really liked him and that he
was invited to the rabbi's house for Shabbat dinner. Jake invited me
to come along and I didn't think anything of that either. It sounded
completely innocent.<br />
We went that Friday to the Rabbi's
house. He and his wife were very friendly. They had multiple
children, all who were very friendly as well. Numerous people our age
were at their home. Most were like Jake and I, Reform or maybe
Conservative Jews. I enjoyed dinner. The company was great and the
food was pretty good.The rabbi told us stories about Judaism and we
had discussions on different topics. We also spent time schmoozing
with the other guests. The rabbi told lots of jokes and made us
laugh. He was very friendly and I really enjoyed his company. After
we finished bentching, (saying the grace after meals) Jake and I left
and hit up some bars. It was just like any other night hanging out.
Nothing changed. The following week, Jake called me again telling me
that we were both invited back to the rabbi's house. We came back to
a good meal with a large number of people our age, a few from the
previous week, most were new. There was more conversation covering
Jewish topics. We schmoozed with people our age. Then Jake and I once
again set off for the bars.<br />
The following week, I called Jake to see if he wanted
to get together with friends that Friday. He told me that he was busy
because he was going to Shabbat dinner at the rabbi's house. I didn't
think anything of it (yet again), and told him I would just see him
Saturday instead. Jake agreed and said he was selected to go on the
trip to Israel he wanted to go on. I congratulated him. He told me he
would spend half the the time at a place called Aish HaTorah, and the
rest of it would be spent doing a variety of activities. He asked if
I would consider going on the trip, but I was busy during that
period, so I declined. We both went our separate ways on Friday and
met up Saturday for lunch. He told me that the following week he
would stay for "the entire Shabbos." It turns out that some
of the people our age we ate dinner with would spend the night with
another Jewish family in the neighborhood. That sounded pretty neat.
But at the time I was pretty busy with school on the weekends and
wasn't able to spend the night.<br />
We both went to dinner the
following week. Once again, we had a good dinner and schmoozed with
the people our age. I noticed that there were more new faces than
old. Once dinner was over, I drove home. Jake stayed behind. Later
that night, we texted back and forth. He said he was bored because
there were no electronics on due to the restrictions of Shabbat. I
thought it was kind of funny. When it got late, we both said goodbye
and went to sleep. I didn't hear from him again until Shabbat was
over. We met up Saturday night to hang out.<br />
At this point,
Jake was going to the rabbi's house for dinner and then spending the
night at another family's house every week. I was still invited for
the following weeks but I never stayed the night. We continued to
text each other at night, but as time went on, he texted less and
less until he finally stopped. He said that he was "able to keep
Shabbos better" at this point. As the weeks progressed, I
noticed that he stopped inviting me to visit the rabbi. If I didn't
have plans on a Friday night, I would end up calling the rabbi and he
would tell me to come over. Around this time, Jake signed up for the
Maimonides course. It was run by the same rabbi and Jake was excited
because it paid a $400 stipend. Due to my class schedule, I was
unable to attend so I never took the class.<br />
As Jake's trip
date grew closer, we began talking less and less. When I would ask if
he wanted to spend a Saturday afternoon together, he'd respond "I
can't, man, it's Shabbos." No problem. I respected that. Then
his big two week trip to Israel came. He ended up going to Aish
HaTorah. He enjoyed it so much that he decided to extend his trip
another two weeks. He told me that he was spending a good portion of
the day studying Torah. When we talked on Facebook, he'd talk more
and more about Torah and Judaism. We no longer talked about things we
used to discuss.<br />
I was excited for him to finally come home
but something had changed. He was different. He would not see me on
Friday or Saturday. In fact, at this point, he told me that I could
only come to the rabbi's house if I stayed the entire time (Friday at
sunset until an hour past sunset on Saturday night) because leaving
early would desecrate the Sabbath. He also refused to go to any of
our favorite restaurants because they weren't kosher. When we talked
on the phone, he'd yell at me for the most random things. When I told
him I had eaten at certain restaurants, he'd say "How could
you?! That's not kosher!" Or when I tried telling him about my
Friday and Saturday plans that no longer included him, he'd respond
"You can't do that on Shabbos! What's wrong with you?!" I
wish that I could tell you that he said these things in a joking
manner, but he didn't. He was dead serious.<br />
At this point,
I felt like things were changing but I couldn't understand why. I
wanted to mend our faltering relationship, so I told him that I would
stay a full Shabbat weekend. The rabbi put both of us with the same
family for the night. I was bored out of my mind. We spent the next
morning in shul. Jake knew what he was doing. I was just daydreaming
the entire time. I couldn't wait for it to end! At the end of
Saturday night, he asked how I liked Shabbat. I told him the truth.
He then yelled at me and proceeded to tell me something interesting.
He asked if I realized a while ago that I was inviting myself to the
rabbi's house and that he wasn't inviting me. It didn't occur to me
at the time, but then I realized that this was indeed the case. He
told me that this was due to my unwillingness to become more
religious. He said that they "gave up on me." What?! I
thought that the rabbi was there to host students so they could learn
about Judaism. I never once thought that there was some kind of
ulterior motive.<br />
By then Jake was hanging out with some of
the people I had met at those dinners. The men from those meals had
already started to wear the typical clothes of orthodox men--the
traditional black hats and suits. The women were all covered, wearing
very long skirts, with arms and legs covered. What about the other
people from the dinners that weren't doing this? The ones I added on
Facebook no longer went to these dinners. In fact, they no longer
engaged in any of these activities, period. It was only me going with
Jake, and a few others who went consistently but didn't become
religious (they too stopped at some point). Since Jake was too busy
spending time with his religious friends, we drifted away.<br />
I was confused. Everything had happened so gradually. He slowly
started to become more religious over time. When we started going to
Shabbat dinners, he thought things like shomer negiah (refraining
from all physical contact with members of the opposite sex) were a
joke. Now he takes it all very seriously. I stumbled upon the term
baal teshuvah (newly religious). When I read more into it, I learned
that Jake wasn't alone. Countless young Jewish people encounter these
kiruv organizations and get sucked in. From what I've seen, it's a
very slow process. It's not overnight like some people might think.
It started with something as simple as going to dinner. Since the
rabbis initially didn't make any effort to have people stay after
dinner, they had time to get comfortable. Gradually they get sucked
in further and they start to observe more traditions. When Jake
started spending nights with orthodox families, he would text me from
his phone. Gradually he became shomer Shabbos (fully observant of the
Sabbath laws) and then this stopped. Once things started to get bad,
he began criticizing almost everything I did. He criticized nearly
everything he used to do too! It got to the point where I no longer
wanted to spend time with him. The funny thing about this criticism
is that the FFB (frum/orthodox from birth) Jews I know have never
criticized me for doing anything. As I briefly mentioned earlier, the
Maimonidies program is an easy way to target students. They attend
weekly classes in order to get a stipend. But there's a catch. They
most spend a full Shabbat in the orthodox community in order to get
the stipend. That's how they reel these unsuspecting students in.
While a majority of them will take the money and move on with their
lives, a few will continue to attend dinners and get sucked in just
like Jake did.<br />
When I stumbled upon this blog, I was
shocked. It was as if Rebecca Ross was pulling the words straight out
of my mouth. I read about kiruv tactics and realized that they tried
every move on both of us. It started with love-bombing at simple
dinners, and then escalated to more serious things. Once Jake went to
Aish HaTorah, that was it. Interestingly, no one from this kiruv
organization ever made their intentions clear. All Jake wanted was
another trip to Israel just like Birthright. He got so much more than
he, his family, or I bargained for. I only joined him for the
dinners. I was completely oblivious to the fact that they were
proselytizing! That's how deceptive these organizations are. While I
genuinely enjoyed the dinners and other events (they are good at
getting people to like them with their love-bombing), and while I
loved my other experiences with them, I grew to hate them once they
pulled Jake out of my life. I hated the fact that they would
deceptively break apart families. Here's what I don't understand:
orthodox Jews usually feel that it's a travesty when another orthodox
Jew goes off the derech (goes off the path of orthodoxy, usually for
a non-orthodox life), but they feel that it's inspiring when
non-orthodox Jews alienate their own friends and family to become
religious. That doesn't make any sense to me. I read quite a few
anti-kiruv blogs, and then eventually started reading things posted
by baal teshuvas. I read some posts on Beyond BT, and I found them to
be incredibly depressing. I'm not sure how breaking the bonds with
family is supposed to be inspiring. I even saw<a href="http://shearim.blogspot.com/2009/07/should-baal-teshuva-give-up-contact-to.html" target="_blank"> a blog where baalteshuvas were discussing how they should cut ties with their families</a> because they wouldn't want their children growing up seeing how bubbe
and zayde (grandma and grandpa) drive on Shabbos or eat treif
(non-kosher) food. Then I saw countless comments on another blog
where baal teshuvahs would say that their friends and family
unfortunately haven't experienced "the beauty of Torah."
That sounds like nothing more than simple brainwashing.<br />
Recently I went to Jake's wedding. He found a shidduch (a marriage
partner for an arranged marriage) and they married within a few
months of meeting. A week before his wedding, I attended a Reform
friend's rehearsal dinner and wedding. You could just see their faces
and know that both families were incredibly happy and excited to see
their children get married. The next week I went to Jake's wedding.
It was odd. All of the orthodox people at the wedding were incredibly
happy. They were festive. There was lots of dancing. But what about
Jake's family? I talked to them because they were like a second
family to me. They didn't look happy at all. In fact, his grandmother
told me that she hopes his new wife will go off the derech so that he
will go back to his "normal" self. This was the unhappiest
wedding I have ever seen, at least from his family's side. I wasn't
happy either. I never imagined my former best friend's wedding would
be like this. But this is what happened. The process was so gradual
that it was impossible to see this coming.<br />
Since losing
Jake, one of my friends confided in me about her crush becoming more
religious. Since I'm friends with him on Facebook, I was able to
watch his gradual change. I was able to explain everything that was
happening step-by-step. It was like clockwork. This time, I saw
someone go from a Reform Jew to an orthodox Jew just like Jake
did--but this time I knew what was happening. It was difficult seeing
my friend lose someone she cared about, especially since I knew what
the ultimate outcome would be. I wish I could have told his parents
what was happening and make it stop. But I couldn't. At least by
writing this post, I can show the world what kiruv does. I want the
world to know how they stole my best friend from me. I also want them
to know that I was a target. They tried to work their magic on me and
they failed. I was shocked when I was told what they were trying to
do--they were that deceptive!<br />
I'd like to leave this long
post with a simple message for both parents and current baal
teshuvas. For the parents of college students, please explain to them
what kiruv is. Instead of having them do the Maimonides course, just
offer to pay them $400 instead. It's a small price to pay for not
losing your child. Also, I wouldn't worry about Birthright as long as
they aren't doing Aish or any other orthodox-run trip, but be wary of
any subsidized trips after Birthright like Aish or Jewel because
these are created for the purpose of proselytizing your children. For
the baal teshuvas who believe it's better to alienate your family and
friends who care about you because they "don't see the beauty of
Torah," who do you think would be at your side if you were
halfway around the world and seriously injured? I'll give you a hint.
It won't be the people standing next to you at shul.<br />
<div style="margin-bottom: 0in;">
<br /></div>
bechttp://www.blogger.com/profile/16146699715760197131noreply@blogger.com25tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3965506036256262699.post-3581837587708648122016-03-05T18:23:00.002-05:002016-03-05T18:53:42.954-05:00Why in the World Is Chabad at Muhlenberg College? <span style="font-size: x-large;"><b>M</b></span>uhlenberg College is a small liberal arts college in Allentown, Pennsylvania, embodying the Lutheran ideals of its namesake, Henry Melchior Muhlenberg, the founder of the Lutheran Church in America. The school promotes intellectual curiosity and growth, creativity, and an ethical responsibility to humankind the world over. The school boasts a small student to faculty ratio with over a hundred clubs and organizations--including a campus Hillel that addresses the needs of an array of Jewish students who make up 33% of the student body. So why is Chabad--a well-known utlra-orthodox kiruv/outreach group--attempting to establish roots on this small private college's campus? It looks like the college newspaper wants to know the same.<br />
According to The Muhlenberg Weekly's article<i><b> </b><a href="http://www.muhlenbergweekly.com/news/view.php/1017827/Analyzing-Chabads-role-on-campus" target="_blank"><b><span style="font-size: small;"><span style="font-weight: normal;"><b>Analyzing Chabad's Role on Campus</b></span></span></b></a></i><span style="font-size: small;"><span style="font-weight: normal;"><a href="http://www.muhlenbergweekly.com/news/view.php/1017827/Analyzing-Chabads-role-on-campus" target="_blank"><i><b>: </b><b>New Option Geared for Jewish Students Proves Controversial</b></i></a>, Chabad first appeared on campus this school year and the reaction has been mixed.</span></span> <br />
<blockquote class="tr_bq">
“Many students have shared with me that they feel sad that, with the
arrival of Chabad, they see the shifts in what had been a unified Jewish
community,” said Rabbi Simon, and added that students have also shared
that Chabad’s proximity to the campus “has been really divisive.”<br />
Aaron Brandt ‘17, the president of Muhlenberg College Hillel and a
former attendee of an Orthodox day school, agrees, and offered a
potential explanation for the divisiveness. “Chabad has been attempting
to attract students who are already active members of the Hillel
community, rather than students who have not yet found their place in
Jewish life since coming to college.”<span style="font-size: x-small;">1</span></blockquote>
Chabad's modus operandi is to send <i>shluchim</i>, or missionaries, to set up outposts on college campuses, and in towns and cities all over the globe in order to attract Jews to greater Jewish observance. The group is decidedly not pluralistic, and teaches Judaism solely from an orthodox perspective. They do not recognize non-orthodox denominations as legitimate, and the late rebbe Menachem Schneerson--the last Lubavitcher rebbe, had stated in a letter that "My considered opinion . . . is [that] the
doctrines and ideology of the Conservative and Reform movements can only be
classed in the category of heretical movements which have plagued our people at
one time or another, only to disappear again, having no basis in our
everlasting <span class="glossary_item">Torah</span>."<span style="font-size: x-small;">2</span><br />
<br />
<br />
<table align="center" cellpadding="0" cellspacing="0" class="tr-caption-container" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto; text-align: center;"><tbody>
<tr><td style="text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgt4BfyxQnjwVwofaogiSvulQH7RsFaQOtN7v-SJFWbOyAnTDOzqT9pl1dF2Pn_fEJDYicTnGxzkwo3aSLde-6VjPSj5y7_GINnsidpzVRbbAJsAy-R_uOLHpYfiex7AsUwyLj85Xgt0XHG/s1600/Screen+Shot+2016-03-05+at+4.32.37+PM.png" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><img border="0" height="320" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgt4BfyxQnjwVwofaogiSvulQH7RsFaQOtN7v-SJFWbOyAnTDOzqT9pl1dF2Pn_fEJDYicTnGxzkwo3aSLde-6VjPSj5y7_GINnsidpzVRbbAJsAy-R_uOLHpYfiex7AsUwyLj85Xgt0XHG/s320/Screen+Shot+2016-03-05+at+4.32.37+PM.png" width="270" /></a></td></tr>
<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;">Rebbe Schneerson: Other expressions of Judaism are heretical.<br />
Click to enlarge.</td></tr>
</tbody></table>
In the handbook for Chabad emissaries, <b>Shlichus: Meeting the Outreach Challenge</b>, Rabbi Eliyahu Cohen gives advice to campus missionaries in his article "The Campus Approach." In addition to addressing the point that existing Jewish groups such as Hillel may have issues with Chabad trying to establish themselves on campus, Cohen urges missionaries to "become a resource for questions on Jewish life"<span style="font-size: x-small;">3</span> and provides information on how to appeal to college students for maximum impact. He stresses the importance of becoming a chartered club and states that:<br />
<blockquote class="tr_bq">
Apart from providing the organization with legitimacy, [a charter] may also provide privileges such as access to campus rooms, media equipment and reduced rates in the school newspaper. In private colleges where issues of church and state do not come into play, financial aid may be offered. Ask administrators about including a flyer with the registration, housing or dining information sent to the student's home. It may be appropriate to ask parents to enroll their children as members of Chabad House for $10 or $18 a year.<span style="font-size: x-small;">4</span></blockquote>
Setting up outposts on college campuses provides Chabad missionaries with the perfect environment in which to proselytize. Not only is there a sizable and changing Jewish student population that they can groom for present or future observance and/or yeshiva study, but there are campus resources which can be harnessed to further their agenda, as well as students and parents who will serve as a source of funding--sometimes long past graduation. Chabad isn't innocently coming to Muhlenberg College to provide something that's missing from Hillel's diverse offerings--unless you consider indoctrination to be innocent.<br />
<br />
For more about Chabad on this blog: and use the Search this Blog function for more:<br />
<a href="http://stopkiruvnow.blogspot.com/2013/04/is-chabad-ultra-orthodox.html" target="_blank">Is Chabad Ultra-Orthodox?</a><br />
<a href="http://stopkiruvnow.blogspot.com/2015/06/chabads-kiruv-double-standard-outrage.html" target="_blank">Chabad's Double Standard: Outrage Over Being Duped</a><br />
<a href="http://stopkiruvnow.blogspot.com/2013/12/who-are-these-people-in-chabadorgs.html" target="_blank">Who *are* the People in Chabad.org's Fundraising Letter?</a><br />
<a href="http://stopkiruvnow.blogspot.com/2015/06/what-buzzfeed-forgot-to-tell-you-about.html#uds-search-results" target="_blank">What BuzzFeed Forgot to Tell You About the Lubavitcher Rebbe and Chabad</a><br />
Use the Search This Blog function to find more.<br />
<br />
<a href="https://www.facebook.com/stopkiruvnow/?fref=nf" target="_blank">Like us on Facebook!</a><br />
<br />
<span style="font-size: x-small;">1. Kantor, Gregory. <a href="http://www.muhlenbergweekly.com/news/view.php/1017827/Analyzing-Chabads-role-on-campus" target="_blank"><span style="font-size: x-small;"><span style="font-weight: normal;">Analyzing Chabad's Role on Campus</span></span></a><span style="font-size: x-small;"><span style="font-weight: normal;">: New Option Geared for Jewish Students Proves Controversial<i><b>. </b></i>The Mulhlenberg Weekly. March 3, 2016.</span></span><br /> 2. <a href="http://www.chabad.org/therebbe/letters/default_cdo/aid/1950494/jewish/The-Conservative-and-Reform-Ideology.htm" target="_blank">Schneerson, Menachem M. The Conservative and Reform Ideology. Correspondence by Rabbi Menachen M. Schneerson, The Lubavitcher Rebbe. July 21, 1959. qtd. on Chabad.org.</a> <br />3. Cohen, Rabbi Eliyahu. "The Campus Approach."Shlichus: Meeting the Outreach Challenge. Nshei Ubnos Chabad, 1991. p117. </span><br />
<span style="font-size: x-small;">4. ibid.</span><span style="font-size: xx-small;"></span>bechttp://www.blogger.com/profile/16146699715760197131noreply@blogger.com16tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3965506036256262699.post-69613842850331267412016-03-04T09:40:00.001-05:002016-03-05T18:34:02.751-05:00Hosting The Not (Yet) Religious<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhKH_Id8kTDJaEca1GIsR16dzslLvPfeBys_DokdagrrSTAio2qd9UlQ2lO8rSH1TvlrYiDcz0BxVmb7xZ4kec3fUhuv2ZMrVbT0AqNGQs2aFtGoigUEARG8AmkPEsDvP2FGxbuY_tbx7Ta/s1600/Screen+Shot+2016-03-03+at+11.32.46+PM.png" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="400" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhKH_Id8kTDJaEca1GIsR16dzslLvPfeBys_DokdagrrSTAio2qd9UlQ2lO8rSH1TvlrYiDcz0BxVmb7xZ4kec3fUhuv2ZMrVbT0AqNGQs2aFtGoigUEARG8AmkPEsDvP2FGxbuY_tbx7Ta/s400/Screen+Shot+2016-03-03+at+11.32.46+PM.png" width="308" /></a></div>
<b><span style="font-size: x-large;"> N</span></b>othing says <i>our goal is to make you orthodox</i> like advertising a lecture called "Hosting the Not (Yet) Religious." On Sunday morning, March 6, 2016, Far Rockaway's Congregation Kneseth Israel, a.k.a The White Shul, will be hosting this lecture for men right after morning prayers. <br />
<b> <span style="color: purple;">Wait, what? For men?</span></b><br />
Why, yes. For men. Specifically.<br />
<b><span style="color: purple;">Why is that? Isn't it already insulting that they're defining non-orthodox Jews as "not (yet) religious," as if their only interest is to make us orthodox? Who defines someone by what they are not? Is that all we are to them--<i>not (yet) religious</i>?</span></b><br />
<b><span style="color: purple;"> </span></b>Just so you know--by "religious" they mean orthodox. It doesn't matter how many aliyahs you've had at your Reform synagogue, Mr. Abramowitz, or how many times you've read the Torah in your Conservative temple, Ms. Roth. By Rabbi Motti Neuburger's standards, you're still <i>not (yet) religious</i>. But to answer the question. Yes, it's extremely insulting to view people who, for whatever reason, are not orthodox as "not (yet) religious." The parenthesis make the phrase sound like it's being said with a wink, as if the White Shul representatives are saying "we know they're not orthodox, but we'll take care of that!" They're not hiding their intent, at least not as far as their own congregants are concerned. <br />
<b><span style="color: purple;">Oh. I see. Now, about this "for men" thing. Are women invited? </span></b><br />
Well, the advertisement states that this is a "special <i>shiur</i> (lecture) for men." Women usually don't attend morning prayers in orthodox synagogues, although technically they probably could--depending on the culture of the shul and if there was a mechitza present (required divider separating the men from the women.) Since this lecture takes place immediately after shacharis (morning prayers) women probably won't be there. You see, in orthodoxy, women aren't required to pray with a minyan three times a day. Women are not permitted to say kaddish (prayers for the dead) so they don't need a quorum of ten. (In orthodoxy, women are not counted in this quorum, known as a <i>minyan</i>.) It is not accepted within orthodoxy for women to wear tefillin, the phylacteries that men wear during morning prayers. As I write this, I'm struck by how much this seems like a cliquish men's club which purposely excludes women.<br />
<b><span style="color: purple;">So, are women invited to this lecture?</span></b> <br />
Good question. Here's their number: (718) 327-0500 It can't hurt to ask. <br />
<br />
Visit our new<a href="https://www.facebook.com/stopkiruvnow/?fref=nf" target="_blank"><b> Facebook page</b>!</a> bechttp://www.blogger.com/profile/16146699715760197131noreply@blogger.com2tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3965506036256262699.post-4045669474568238702016-03-02T21:30:00.005-05:002016-03-02T21:30:42.577-05:00Find Jewish Outreach: What Your Rabbi Isn't Telling You on Facebook!<b><span style="font-size: x-large;"> Y</span></b>es folks, it's true. After several requests from readers, I've finally put together a <a href="https://www.facebook.com/stopkiruvnow/#" target="_blank">Facebook</a> <a href="https://www.facebook.com/stopkiruvnow/#" target="_blank">page</a> for this blog. You can find it <a href="https://www.facebook.com/stopkiruvnow/#" target="_blank">here</a>. Feel free to visit--although keep in mind that it's barely hours old and I haven't posted anything on there yet. The goal of the Facebook page is to raise awareness about deceptive kiruv aimed at college students, young professionals, and others within the non-orthodox sphere while creating a space where we can meet, share, and find others who have had similar experiences. I look forward to expanding our discussion of Jewish outreach and to blogging more in 2016. Thanks to all of my readers. You folks are the inspiration behind this blog. -bec<br />bechttp://www.blogger.com/profile/16146699715760197131noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3965506036256262699.post-43906010844088373612016-01-06T12:43:00.001-05:002016-01-06T15:42:10.415-05:00Lying and Omission: Permissible to Make Jews Religious<iframe allowfullscreen="" class="YOUTUBE-iframe-video" data-thumbnail-src="https://i.ytimg.com/vi/iigUlqQJdfA/0.jpg" frameborder="0" height="266" src="https://www.youtube.com/embed/iigUlqQJdfA?feature=player_embedded" width="320"></iframe><br />
<br />
<span style="font-size: x-large;"><b> Y</b></span>osef Mizrachi, the ultra-orthodox kiruv rabbi known throughout the orthodox world for his use of inflammatory rhetoric in his <i>shiurim</i>, or lectures, states in the above video that deception is permissible in order save someone's soul for the purpose of kiruv, or Jewish outreach. While he doesn't want people to think that it's okay to lie, he does claim that if in the desire to point to truth, it causes Jews to stop observing, then maybe it's better to lie (so they'll maintain observance)--which he then says is never okay and is forbidden in the Torah. Mizrachi then mentions that when the Chazon Ish (a famous Haredi leader who died in 1953) was asked if a person was allowed to lie in order to make a non-religious Jew religious, the Chazon Ish said that it should be done to save his soul. Mizrachi finishes by explaining that it's always better to omit information so that people won't be discouraged from becoming orthodox. (Transcript available at the end of the article.)<br />
<br />
Justifying the use of deception for the purpose of Jewish outreach doesn't win Mizrachi any awards in my book, but sadly, this is just the tip of the iceberg when it comes to offensive utterances within the body of his lectures.<br />
<br />
Mizrachi, who also preaches that:<a href="https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=TNuMWJ5CjbI" target="_blank"> people who don't observe Shabbat according to orthodox practice shouldn't say kaddish for dead relatives</a>,<span style="font-size: x-small;">1 </span>that <a href="https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=AlAndoVbFvI" target="_blank">"Down Syndrome, autistic(sic), and any other problem is a punishment as a result of [gossiping during] a previous life",</a><span style="font-size: x-small;">2</span> and that<a href="http://www.tubechop.com/watch/7508382" target="_blank"> God specifically afflicts women with breast, brain, and uterine cancers and men with prostate cancer and brain cancer as punishment for not observing the laws of Shabbat and modesty</a>,<span style="font-size: x-small;">3</span> is most recently the subject of a <a href="http://www.thepetitionsite.com/365/450/941/demand-from-torahanytime.com-to-remove-yosef-mizrachis-shiurim/?taf_id=19696728&cid=fb_na#sign" target="_blank">petition requesting that his lectures be removed from the Torah Anytime website</a>, after an irresponsible speech in which he claimed that only one million Jews were killed in the Holocaust and that "the other 5 million people included in the numbers of Jews killed by the Nazis were intermarried and not Jewish."<span style="font-size: x-small;">4</span> While Mizrachi has since issued an apology for this particular incident, his hurtful words have already circulated around the internet, drawing even more negative attention to the incendiary speeches he is known for giving. This is also not the first time he's said disparaging things about Holocaust victims. In a video entitled <i>Manners--The Right Way to Behave</i>, Mizrachi rants about the immodesty of secular Jewish women during the Holocaust just moments before their deaths. He explains that minutes before the women were going to be taken to the gas chambers, the religious women huddled together for modesty, while secular women "they stand like this, completely in front of the photographer [Mizrachi pantomimes frontal view on video] crying that they're going to die. So they're thinking that I don't want to die, who cares? Put my picture all over the world."5 <br />
<br />
Mr. Mizrachi's irresponsible speech is reminiscent of the story illustrating how spreading <i>lashon hara</i>, or gossip, is akin to cutting open a feather bed and scattering the feathers to the wind. This story is often taught to potential ba'al teshuvahs and newly religious Jews as an example of the far-reaching effects of gossip and how one can never take back all of his/her words. In our modern world, one can easily substitute racism, sexism, ageism, heterosexism, classism--and too many others to mention--with "gossip" and realize that irresponsible speech, especially now with easy access to information, has the power to do damage not just to those who are targeted by hurtful language, but to those who spread such ugliness from the start.<br />
<br />
<br />
Transcript of Above Video<br />
<br />
<blockquote class="tr_bq">
:08 First of all: why would you say something? Let's start like this: what did we gain by this? What did we gain by this? Does your desire to, if it were, point to the truth immediately justify that you bring down tens of thousands of Jews that started to keep Shabbat and behave like those who keep mitzvot so you brought them down in the name of truth? Was that so urgent? I didn't, God forbid, say that it is allowed to lie. It's forbidden to lie, God said so explicitly. <br />
<br />
:35 "By the way, they asked the Chazon Ish if it's allowed to lie to make a Jew newly religious. Rabbi Shwadron, one of the greatest speakers, asked this to the Chazon Ish. What's the answer? <br />
:47 "He told him: "For sure, kal vachomer ("all the more so" argument.) If an irreligious person was about to die now, would you be allowed to desecrate Shabbat for him? To save him is allowed, this is the halacha [Jewish law]. He says: If now, to break the Shabbat, it's the sign with the creator of the world, it's the greatest mitzvah with the most extreme punishment, you may desecrate it in order to perhaps save someone's life. Perhaps he will die regardless, despite having desecrated the Shabbat--there are no guarantees. Even if there's a percentage of a percentage chance that it may save his life we desecrate the Shabbat for him. Even if you save his life for [another] ten minutes, he would perhaps die anyway because he's got, let's say twenty bullets in his stomach, and now you desecrate the Shabbat and you give him, let's say, oxygen, and now he will live another ten minutes, what did you gain by this? He will die anyway--they pumped twenty bullets in him! You are allowed to desecrate Shabbat for him even for one more minute that he may still live. That's how important a minute of life is. (1:42) So, the Chazon Ish told him: All the more so, to lie to an irreligious person in order to save his soul which is much more important than his body--if to desecrate Shabbat so that he may live--What does 'to live' mean? He will continue to sin! <br />
<br />
1:58 "It's allowed to save his soul though a lie. Everyone knows that a lie is less [severe] than the desecration of Shabbat. There is no capital punishment of stoning or "cutting off" but on desecrating the Shabbat there is a heavy punishment and it [still] is allowed, all the more so [are you allowed to lie] he answered him simply. Nevertheless this is not our way. We don't need to lie and to distort and not even to exaggerate, we don't sit and lie, there's enough words of the truth and the Torah--we don't need to lie and to distort and not even to exaggerate--but if there is something subject to dispute . . . <br />
<br />
2:26 "Let's say it's something subject to dispute . . . some say yes and some say no, why would you need to say anything? What did you gain by this? Tell me one thing that you gained by this. That now another 10,000 or 1,000 or 100 or 20 that already started to [strengthen their observance] and they are on fire and they're starting to listen to Torah lessons, suddenly they write that all was rubbish, all was bluff (sic), and they will leave the path--what did you gain by this?<span style="font-size: x-small;">6</span></blockquote>
<br />
<span style="font-size: x-small;">1.<span class="watch-title " dir="ltr" id="eow-title" title="Rabbi Yosef Mizrachi - You Should Not Say Kaddish for Dead Relative if Not Shomer Shabbat"><span style="font-weight: normal;"> Mizrachi, Yosef. You Should Not Say Kaddish for Dead Relative if Not Shomer Shabbat. Yosef Mizrachi. Shademanvendetta. YouTube. Dec. 31, 2014.<br />2. Mizrachi, Yosef. Rabbi Yosef Mizrachi on Down Syndrome and Autistics. Dan Cohen. YouTube. Jan. 1, 2014.<br />3. </span></span>Mizrachi, Yosef. Mizrahi explains why women and men get cancer. TubeChop.</span><br />
<span style="font-size: x-small;">4.<span style="font-weight: normal;"> Sharon, Jeremy. Orthodox rabbi: Only One Million Jews Killed in Holocaust. Jerusalem Post. Dec. 30, 2015.</span></span><br />
<span style="font-size: x-small; font-weight: normal;">5. Mizrachi, Yosef. </span><span style="font-size: x-small;">Manners--The Right Way to Behave. YouTube. Jan. 8, 2014. Holocaust discussion begins at 1:41:26.</span><br />
<span style="font-size: x-small; font-weight: normal;">6. Mizrachi, Yosef. It is Permissible to Lie to Make People Religious. Undercover Kofer. YouTube. Jan. 6, 2016. </span>bechttp://www.blogger.com/profile/16146699715760197131noreply@blogger.com12tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3965506036256262699.post-56126792782045693732015-12-31T11:37:00.002-05:002015-12-31T13:10:48.829-05:00Game of Kiruv: MonseyopolyWith adorable cover art by <a href="http://chanijudowitz.com/portfolio/workbook-cover/" target="_blank">Chani Judowitz</a>, <a href="http://www.monsey.com/lets-play-monsey-monseyopoly-a-familiar-game-with-even-more-familiar-landmarks/150975" target="_blank">Monseyopoly</a> looks like a very exciting and colorful game. Created for JEP (Jewish Education Program) of Rockland, the Monseyopoly board game is meant to bring the familiarity of Monsey to the table. According to Monsey.com<br />
<blockquote class="tr_bq">
<br />
In keeping with its pursuit of uniting Jews of all backgrounds, JEP
Rockland presents a game that sparks renewed interest and pride in our
local community. MONSEYOPOLY is now available, ready to provide friends
and family with hours of kosher entertainment. More importantly, your
purchase of this fun-filled game will also go a long way to support the
inspiring and informative outreach efforts of a true Monsey mainstay –
JEP ROCKLAND.1</blockquote>
Monseyopoly was created to enhance JEP's kiruv/outreach efforts to non-orthodox Jews. Indoctrinate the kids while they're still young and willing to sit around and play board games. It's not a bad strategy, after all, games are often used to supplement education in the classroom (Scrabble Slam and Scrabble, Jr.) and promote positive values (Chutes and Ladders.) The benefit is double for JEP because while the game promotes their values as part of the indoctrination process, the funds generated by sales go to help this kiruv organization. Monsey.com reports<br />
<blockquote class="tr_bq">
This innovative project is the result of the outreach efforts of one
of Rockland County’s premier, longstanding kiruv organizations: JEP
Rockland. JEP Rockland was founded back in 1979 by Rabbi Yehuda Schwab,
zt”l, and for nearly 35 years he oversaw every aspect of JEP’s growth
and development, personally and positively influencing the lives of
thousands along the way.<br />
JEP is thriving with a full gamut of ongoing classes and programs to
fulfill its mission to reach, teach, and inspire unaffiliated Jewish
children and adults by introducing them to the value of Torah and
Mitzvos.2</blockquote>
<br />
What gave me pause was actually something about copyright infringement. As a writer working on several projects, I often have to look up exact laws on what is and what isn't copyright infringement. An internet search recently brought me to the Memory Book Company, a company that produces school yearbooks. On their site, they make a point about getting permission to use names, titles, artwork, etc. without permission. They write:<br />
<blockquote class="tr_bq">
Games such as Monopoly, Trivial Pursuit, etc., are subject to copyright
and trademark protection and cannot be reproduced without permission.<br />
One
school decided to use a Monopoly theme in their yearbook.
Unfortunately, they failed to get permission from Parker Brothers before
they sent the yearbook to the printers. As soon as Parker Brothers
became aware of the situation, they flew in a lawyer to supervise the
destruction of every copy of the yearbook.3</blockquote>
While I'm opposed to kiruv, I have to admit that I'm curious as to the legality of this game. I sent off an email to Hasbro, the parent company of the original Monopoly board game, giving them a link the Monseyopoly article but have not received a response as of the publishing of this post. <br />
<br />
<br />
1. Horowitz, Baruch. "Lets Play Monsey!... Monseyopoly--A Familiar Game with Even More Familiar Landmarks"[sic] Monsey.com. December 6, 2015.<br />
2. Ibid.<br />
3. http://www.memorybook.com/documents/Copyright.pdf<br />
<br />
<br />
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</div>
<br />bechttp://www.blogger.com/profile/16146699715760197131noreply@blogger.com5tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3965506036256262699.post-42942342004324367572015-07-21T17:55:00.002-04:002015-07-21T20:45:23.698-04:00In Honor of Faigy Mayer<b><span style="font-size: x-large;"> I</span></b>n the wee hours of the morning, the Off the Derech Facebook community learned of the tragic suicide of Faigy Mayer, a bright young woman who, with extraordinary courage, had left the ultra-orthodox community to pursue her dreams. She was kind and caring, and understanding the difficulties in leaving the ultra-orthodox world, was working on technology to better the experiences of those going off the derech (path) of orthodox Judaism. She had many friends. I consider myself fortunate to have made her acquaintance in online forums. I know many others who knew her personally. We are all feeling the pain that this loss brings.<br />
<br />
In the wake of such an awful event, it is easy to lay blame. Rather than hurl accusations, it is important to remember several things.<br />
<br />
<ul>
<li>Remember that family and friends should never ostracize someone for choosing a different path in life than the one in which she/he was raised. It is fine to disagree, but religion should never be more important than people. </li>
<li>Remember that depression is an illness that can be treated, but not everyone who needs help gets it in time or, sadly, at all. Read <a href="https://www.nimh.nih.gov/health/topics/depression/index.shtml">NIMH's website for more information on depression</a>. </li>
<li>Remember that people who leave orthodox communities do not "have something wrong with them." This is a popular refrain often repeated within certain groups, in order to maintain the illusion that all is perfect within their communities. People leave orthodoxy for a variety of reasons, both emotional and intellectual. </li>
<li>Remember the importance of reaching out to people. If you are depressed or having a tough time, or if you know someone who may be going through a rough patch, offer support. A phone call, a cup of coffee, a few moments of your day may make all the difference in the world.</li>
<li>Remember, if you need help or know someone who does, reach out. </li>
</ul>
May all who mourn be consoled. May you find inner peace and strength to get through the hard days ahead, and may you ultimately take comfort in your positive memories.<br />
<b><br /> If you feel you are in a crisis please call</b> <a href="https://www.facebook.com/groups/offthederech/10153503026517760/?ref=notif&notif_t=group_comment_follow#" role="button">1-800-273-TALK </a>(8255) where you will be connected to a skilled, trained counselor at a crisis center in your area,<b> anytime</b> 24/7. You can also call the hope line for similar services: 1-800-442-HOPE. For people outside of the USA, please refer to <a href="http://www.suicide.org/international-suicide-hotlines.html" rel="nofollow" target="_blank">http://www.suicide.org/<wbr></wbr>international-suicide-hotlines.<wbr></wbr>html</a>.<br />
<br />
Read more.<br />
<a href="http://failedmessiah.typepad.com/failed_messiahcom/2015/07/ex-hasid-dies-in-fall-from-rooftop-345.html">Ex-Hasid Dies in Fall from Rooftop</a> -Failed Messiah<br />
<a href="https://kolbishaerva.wordpress.com/2015/07/21/we-dont-get-it/">We Don't Get I</a><a href="https://www.blogger.com/null">t</a> -Kol B'Isha Erva<br /><a href="https://myderech.wordpress.com/2015/07/21/four-hours/">Four Hours</a> -My Derech, On and Offbechttp://www.blogger.com/profile/16146699715760197131noreply@blogger.com9tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3965506036256262699.post-64248093305099207232015-07-08T13:49:00.002-04:002015-07-08T16:33:16.368-04:00A Kiruv Organization Tells All: Recruiting Women, College Students<div style="text-align: left;">
<span style="font-size: x-large;"><b>I</b></span> recently found Rabbi Yitschak Rudomim's website for the Jewish Professionals Institute: Adult Education and Outreach organization. At first I assumed, incorrectly, that I'd have to spend a lot of time trying to prove that they were using certain tactics to appeal to non-orthodox Jews in order to draw them in. Well, I was wrong. JPI's statement of purpose specifically mentions that Rabbi Yitschak Rudomim and his organization are fighting an "unconventional war on Jewish ignorance" and that they are "called upon to adopt the methods of marketing, salesmanship, and advertising in order to "sell" Judaism to Jews, because of my love for my fellow Jews."<span style="font-size: x-small;">1</span> Whether this is an effort to be transparent to all who are interested in his work, or simply a way to gain additional financial support, or perhaps an oversight (maybe he doesn't expect that people will be criticizing his tactics) on his part, Rudomim is telling you exactly what he and all kiruv organizations do. <br />
Rudomim clearly states that there is no place that is off-limits to outreach rabbis, including (but not limited to) "the home, work, college, or any informal domain,"<span style="font-size: x-small;">2</span> and that it is his goal "to penetrate these other areas."<span style="font-size: x-small;">3</span> Rudomim's end goal is "to touch the lives of so many of our ignorant (Jewishly) brethren and inspire them through deed and thought to undertake the quest for self-betterment through increased commitment to study and observance of Judaism."<span style="font-size: x-small;">4</span></div>
<table cellpadding="0" cellspacing="0" class="tr-caption-container" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto; text-align: center;"><tbody>
<tr><td style="text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEj5TieyeLzn8IH0FHpLAfYyBqRfS8tXnGWB5uW-YFMZur1sVBHjJMqXkLVhzhXx6k2E4YQhjkbqBSxDWjl6aIUJBC8-NOn_xbUR72LvW-Q4fUGG74Cq-969UbvHUer8lX4Haarn9CjhANw-/s1600/jpi4.png" imageanchor="1" style="clear: right; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><img border="0" height="184" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEj5TieyeLzn8IH0FHpLAfYyBqRfS8tXnGWB5uW-YFMZur1sVBHjJMqXkLVhzhXx6k2E4YQhjkbqBSxDWjl6aIUJBC8-NOn_xbUR72LvW-Q4fUGG74Cq-969UbvHUer8lX4Haarn9CjhANw-/s400/jpi4.png" width="400" /></a></td></tr>
<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;">Jewish Professionals Institute: Statement of Purpose<br />
click to enlarge</td></tr>
</tbody></table>
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
<br /></div>
<div style="text-align: left;">
I've included a letter of recommendation for Rabbi Rudomim and JPI written by Rabbi Yehudah Fine, director of The Jewish Family Institute which, according to Seattle, Washington's Jewish Transcript, is both an orthodox rabbi and a family therapist whose "Jewish Family Institute provides outreach to families in crisis, including individual and family counseling, crisis intervention, outreach for individuals and families in need, lectures and seminars for Jewish communities and youth groups."<span style="font-size: x-small;">5</span> Back when the article was written "Fine said that he was probably best known for his work in counseling Jewish families dealing with a family member who has joined a cult."<span style="font-size: x-small;">6</span> Yes, you read that correctly. <br />
Within Fine's letter of recommendation he uses emotional manipulation as part of his request for financial support. He refers to the "silent Holocaust of American Jewry," using the Holocaust as a marketing tool in order to gain monetary contributions and appeal to people's emotions. He then lists several statistics without citing his sources, which makes me wonder if these statistics are even legitimate. </div>
<table cellpadding="0" cellspacing="0" class="tr-caption-container" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto; text-align: center;"><tbody>
<tr><td style="text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjBYFPobiQ8pGNJGeGqzD8PXwL2ZP-BiiXWoAyfGthn6SgkrgOSl6VC9GrbAa79fkBSqCeTMcKMfegG5RDPl3THxapHl8n2zcXGRiEE5Wp7-q6DSHZrqUIsWRmu3j5wwYUCIcfCoiwDoNTz/s1600/jpi+3.png" imageanchor="1" style="clear: right; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><img border="0" height="177" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjBYFPobiQ8pGNJGeGqzD8PXwL2ZP-BiiXWoAyfGthn6SgkrgOSl6VC9GrbAa79fkBSqCeTMcKMfegG5RDPl3THxapHl8n2zcXGRiEE5Wp7-q6DSHZrqUIsWRmu3j5wwYUCIcfCoiwDoNTz/s400/jpi+3.png" width="400" /></a></td></tr>
<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;">Letter of Recommendation for JPI by Rabbi Yehudah Fine<br />
click to enlarge</td><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;"><br /></td></tr>
</tbody></table>
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: left;">
<span style="font-size: large;">Recruiting Women</span></div>
<div style="text-align: left;">
Director of JPI, Rabbi Rudomim, includes a piece on his site entitled "Women of Valor" in which he details kiruv's expectations of the women who are recruited to an ultra-orthodox lifestyle. He appears to understand that "it is not a simple matter for today's liberated Jewish woman to accept separation of the sexes, the laws of Family Purity, bearing many children, covering her hair and many of the other observances by women leading Torah lifestyles."<span style="font-size: x-small;">7</span> and then he states that due to kiruv efforts, these women now "run to accept more, not less, of what Yiddishkeit proclaims to be the role of the true woman of valor: A devoted and loyal mother and wife."<span style="font-size: x-small;">8</span> Through outreach, these formerly non-orthodox women "then go on to marry and establish Torah homes."<span style="font-size: x-small;">9</span> Rudomim briefly mentions a few seminaries, including the well-known Neve Yerushalayim women's seminary, that were created in order to deal with the "special needs" in terms of recruiting young, non-orthodox women. He mentions Rabbi Manis Friedman of Chabad, "one of the most charismatic teachers of previously secular Jewish women in America." Rudomim appears to celebrate such charismatic leaders. In this case, they are expected to convince people to change their perspective, their views, and even their lives.<br />
Rudomim mentions The Jewish Women's Journal, put out by the Jewish Renaissance Center in Manhattan and clearly states "this special newspaper . . . whose motive is outreach" uses a "sophisticated style and accessibility [to] appeal to even estranged Jews. It provides a non-threatening glimpse into Jewish life."<span style="font-size: x-small;">10</span></div>
<div style="text-align: left;">
<span style="font-size: small;"> What Rudomim fails to mention is what these women are giving up in order to embrace an ultra-orthodox lifestyle. He doesn't mention the careers that may be put on hold, the family discord that is often caused but less-often talked about, and the relationships that suffer as a result. But he is honest, at least, about what he believes to be the role of the Jewish woman--that of wife and mother of many. </span></div>
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<tr><td style="text-align: center;"><img border="0" height="173" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgrKezxVXesqGOXURK-1-crbfKvdZJtCf53Gv1oUnXAlup88MRZKMgtgvLUOAd_eEjUVLAmOEcwEbghIAwJDvn3MiaWCKF489D6l7j9YA-JtTfvaK_SMrrNXBhu5SxlCj3CjhfuFLxOZK_0/s400/Screen+Shot+2015-07-08+at+10.09.19+AM.png" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;" width="400" /></td></tr>
<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;">"Women of Valor" Rabbi Yitschak Rudomim<br />
click to enlarge</td></tr>
</tbody></table>
<br />
<table align="center" cellpadding="0" cellspacing="0" class="tr-caption-container" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto; text-align: center;"><tbody>
<tr><td style="text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgYp9f5DIojmpEwuKBSlk0QQmu1LbxVwWE9eO2aHH8EfyRYTZm0RxSky-Vg_3HGMTBEk5Hi0tPyNbhP2CORy7ewOj1pMPxrncoz02I1jqFT65KoahB4IpB8sYNgXTc9NOLTHHGUzO7Qq5qK/s1600/jpi+1.png" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><img border="0" height="182" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgYp9f5DIojmpEwuKBSlk0QQmu1LbxVwWE9eO2aHH8EfyRYTZm0RxSky-Vg_3HGMTBEk5Hi0tPyNbhP2CORy7ewOj1pMPxrncoz02I1jqFT65KoahB4IpB8sYNgXTc9NOLTHHGUzO7Qq5qK/s400/jpi+1.png" width="400" /></a></td></tr>
<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;">Women of Valor, Part One<br />
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</tbody></table>
<br />
<table align="center" cellpadding="0" cellspacing="0" class="tr-caption-container" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto; text-align: center;"><tbody>
<tr><td style="text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhaGiM8H16wQVgUgrMIk2hRpdLVChE0xFbWMAD7ym-aQmWFUO2AmNIZu1rTh5Lh_bOFecAcyVvTHhb-nadENCoRCkkVfNM83jLNSUNyBkcBuxvBgO2bsqCQmP1HAfzQlWRS5ERiwTZlA2Np/s1600/jpi+2.png" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><img border="0" height="42" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhaGiM8H16wQVgUgrMIk2hRpdLVChE0xFbWMAD7ym-aQmWFUO2AmNIZu1rTh5Lh_bOFecAcyVvTHhb-nadENCoRCkkVfNM83jLNSUNyBkcBuxvBgO2bsqCQmP1HAfzQlWRS5ERiwTZlA2Np/s400/jpi+2.png" width="400" /></a></td></tr>
<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;">Women of Valor, Part Two<br />
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</tbody></table>
<div class="" style="clear: both; text-align: left;">
<span style="font-size: large;">Recruiting College Students</span></div>
<div class="" style="clear: both; text-align: left;">
Rabbi Rudomim's article about college students traveling in Israel describes in alarming accuracy the tactics employed by kiruv professionals in Israel to recruit impressionable college students to an ultra-orthodox lifestyle. He mentions that the phenomenon of traveling college students has been a boon to kiruv because "many young assimilated college students go off to explore Europe and Israel . . . [and so] and entire outreach apparatus has evolved to provide yet another option for these wandering happy-go-lucky young people."<span style="font-size: x-small;">11</span> Rudomim brazenly states that "Indeed, at the Kotel, (Western Wall), there is a polished network of outreach professionals who specialize in offering hospitality, and an opportunity to learn Torah, to the previously disinterested Jewish traveler."<span style="font-size: x-small;">12</span> It's true--I was once one of those "previously disinterested Jewish travelers," Rudomim's words, not mine. What I failed to understand at the time was that I was falling for pickup lines, marketing strategies, and salesmanship that were, and still are, used on "on [the] thousands, yes thousands, of young Jews [who] have been enrolled in famous Baal Teshuvah Yeshivot in this fashion."<span style="font-size: x-small;">13</span></div>
<div class="" style="clear: both; text-align: left;">
Rudomim admits that Aish HaTorah's famous Discovery Seminar is meant to sweep people off their feet. He writes: </div>
<blockquote class="tr_bq">
<span style="font-size: medium;">Fascinating lectures proving the validity of the Torah,
existence of G-d, and the relevance of Judaism to modern life are
presented, and more importantly, accepted by many listeners. Enough to
convince them to stay on for a few weeks, or months, or years, and even
make Aliyah.<span style="font-size: x-small;">14</span></span></blockquote>
<div class="" style="clear: both; text-align: left;">
<span style="font-size: medium;">Rudomim is not hiding the fact that Aish is offering a program meant to convince unsuspecting young tourists that they ought to stay in Israel--attending kiruv programs meant to push them into ultra-orthodoxy--for lengthy amounts of time that weren't originally in their plans. Again, I recall sitting in the office of a prominent Jerusalem rabbi as he tried to convince my husband and I (we were newlyweds in our early twenties) that we should stay in Israel and attend yeshiva and seminary programs. Our response was that it was irresponsible, since we both had jobs and school, but this didn't deter him from his hard-sell tactics. Instead, we agreed to allow a prominent New York kiruv rabbi to contact us upon our arrival home. While our curiosity was piqued, we were definitely turned off by the exorbitant amount of pressure put on us to stay and change our plans. To be honest, I remember feeling intimidated by this rabbi, but strengthened by the fact that my husabnd (and best friend) and I were in this together. Had I been alone, I might have been afraid to say no to someone I perceived to be a spiritual leader. But I digress. <br /> Rudomim also mentions that Aish's Jerusalem Fellowships are supported by the Israeli government because they see this as an opportunity that could lead to more people making aliyah, a permanent move to Israel. Politically, this is good for Israel, as it keeps the population growing.</span></div>
<table align="center" cellpadding="0" cellspacing="0" class="tr-caption-container" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto; text-align: center;"><tbody>
<tr><td style="text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEg7c_DOzaHI8o1TbhEwHou5p1m-NyW9ch8wUe754S9M6-Pu7eGEe_UH-VsjDqf7M1uf77CyfylHvtqYp2rVLNdtWN5xRWuhBnxD_-jCDdUsP-4FT3gSMeNLvHQ57ABvLv_RO4Xki9K0ueI0/s1600/jpi6.png" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><img border="0" height="172" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEg7c_DOzaHI8o1TbhEwHou5p1m-NyW9ch8wUe754S9M6-Pu7eGEe_UH-VsjDqf7M1uf77CyfylHvtqYp2rVLNdtWN5xRWuhBnxD_-jCDdUsP-4FT3gSMeNLvHQ57ABvLv_RO4Xki9K0ueI0/s400/jpi6.png" width="400" /></a></td></tr>
<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;">Traveling in Israel, Part One<br />
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</tbody></table>
<br />
<table align="center" cellpadding="0" cellspacing="0" class="tr-caption-container" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto; text-align: center;"><tbody>
<tr><td style="text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhn6fT0Rpwq1lVH9brxR1HChyphenhyphenIrN7hrLr8qJ2snfP2yriOY8bcsNnzIpV75jpWH8kJDcWZn4tfg1Y8iUJuzT1QrNA9hffsVTBnTe4mdfglcs1IhQHwRllKchfMK2QhMVg3YYS8nAadfW3ZF/s1600/jpi7.png" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><img border="0" height="185" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhn6fT0Rpwq1lVH9brxR1HChyphenhyphenIrN7hrLr8qJ2snfP2yriOY8bcsNnzIpV75jpWH8kJDcWZn4tfg1Y8iUJuzT1QrNA9hffsVTBnTe4mdfglcs1IhQHwRllKchfMK2QhMVg3YYS8nAadfW3ZF/s400/jpi7.png" width="400" /></a></td></tr>
<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;">Traveling in Israel, Part Two<br />
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</tbody></table>
<table align="center" cellpadding="0" cellspacing="0" class="tr-caption-container" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto; text-align: center;"><tbody>
<tr><td style="text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhdu06xuCh5JV2vdmF_X1Lp1yZa1BJuOdgCLcv1YTP8xfxLUzCr_M6khbc6EVPQXYqXJCDRNDgCymMRBw-4FwxS1oRzUR0cIYqQTmjCKUxEX4J_4bvpfQqp1TYF4OUyzzpVJHxj7nCYE0YQ/s1600/jpi8.png" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><img border="0" height="15" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhdu06xuCh5JV2vdmF_X1Lp1yZa1BJuOdgCLcv1YTP8xfxLUzCr_M6khbc6EVPQXYqXJCDRNDgCymMRBw-4FwxS1oRzUR0cIYqQTmjCKUxEX4J_4bvpfQqp1TYF4OUyzzpVJHxj7nCYE0YQ/s400/jpi8.png" width="400" /></a></td></tr>
<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;">Traveling in Israel, Part Three<br />
click to enlarge</td></tr>
</tbody></table>
To be completely honest, I was completely thrown off by Rudomim's Jewish Professionals Institute's site. Rudomim's blatant explanation of what kiruv organizations do and how they do it was shocking and unexpected. I'm sure that my readers who are pro-kiruv are smiling and saying "happy now?" because one of my criticisms of ultra-orthodox Jewish outreach is that there is a lack of this type of information. (In truth, this information is lacking and still inaccessible to people unfamiliar with the lingo needed to plug in appropriate search terms, but that should be understandable.) Let me take a second and address the question as to whether or not I'm happy to have found this information.<br />
On a personal level, I realized that my experiences in Israel were contrived and that the warmth and hospitality I experienced as a student, and then as part of a newly married couple, were contrived. In many ways, this makes me second-guess the integrity of those I encountered who tried to sell me experiences that were not real or unique--I was just another warm Jewish body.<br />
Speaking on a professional level as a critic of kiruv, I'm curious as to why Rudomim gives all of this information away so easily. Who is the expected audience of his website? Surely, it isn't me or those who kiruv professionals are recruiting. If so, why tell people that they're simply clients being manipulated by deft salespeople with polished techniques? Will this help to bring us in? <br />
As a final thought, the articles on JPI's website reminded me of Edgar Allen Poe's stories, in which the guilty party cannot keep the secrets and details of his crime to himself. Through a series of events--both psychological and physical--Poe's protagonists often lead the police, the other characters, and the reader right to the scene of crime, exposing the gory details because the guilty party can no longer bear his secret. <br />
As always, I welcome reader comments.<br />
<br />
<br />
<span style="font-size: x-small;">Works Cited</span><br />
<span style="font-size: x-small;">1. Jewish Professionals Institute. <a href="http://www.jpi.org/">www.jpi.org</a>. website.</span><br />
<span style="font-size: x-small;">2. ibid.</span><br />
<span style="font-size: x-small;">3. ibid.</span><br />
<span style="font-size: x-small;">4. ibid.</span><br />
<span style="font-size: x-small;">5. Gordon, Richard. Former Bellevue Resident Heads Jewish Family Institute. The Jewish Transcript. September 11, 1986. p.11.</span><br />
<span style="font-size: x-small;">6. ibid.</span><br />
<span style="font-size: x-small;">7. Rudomim, Yitschak. Women of Valor. Jewish Professionals Institute. www.jpi.org. website.</span><br />
<span style="font-size: x-small;">8. ibid.</span><br />
<span style="font-size: x-small;">9. ibid.</span><br />
<span style="font-size: x-small;">10. ibid.</span><br />
<span style="font-size: x-small;">11. Rudomim, Yitschak. Traveling in Israel. Jewish Professionals Institute. www.jpi.org. website.</span><br />
<span style="font-size: x-small;">12. ibid.</span><br />
<span style="font-size: x-small;">13. ibid.</span><br />
<span style="font-size: x-small;">14. ibid.</span>bechttp://www.blogger.com/profile/16146699715760197131noreply@blogger.com12tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3965506036256262699.post-44839757240448553122015-06-24T14:26:00.001-04:002015-06-24T17:44:51.291-04:00Chabad's Kiruv Double Standard: Outrage Over Being "Duped" <span style="font-size: x-large;"><b> B</b></span>y now you've probably heard about Baci Weiler, the University of Chicago student who was mistaken for a male by a Chabad kiruv worker who then went on to help her don tefillin. If you haven't, feel free to read the story <a href="http://www.timesofisrael.com/chabad-rep-lays-tefillin-on-woman-in-ny/?fb_comment_id=1098851396797068_1099071633441711&comment_id=1099071633441711#f19fe9eac">here</a>. Orthodox Jews consider the wearing of tefillin to be a male-only <i>mitzvah, </i>(commandment) despite stories that the daughters of Rashi, a well-known biblical commentator from the Middle ages, wore the little black boxes. <br />
As expected, much of the orthodox community--especially the Chabad community--is outraged that an unsuspecting yeshiva <i>bocher</i> (student) was "duped" into believing that Ms. Weiler was a guy based on her haircut and clothing. It is the responsibility of the Chabad missionary to make sure he's practicing what he believes in the correct manner. It isn't the responsibility of the person he approaches to rebuke him, because many times, that random person on the street might not know the minutiae of Jewish law--or that there even <i>is</i> a law. <br />
As it turns out, Baci Weiler does wear tefillin on a regular basis, and obviously has no issue with egalitarian Judaism. And yet, many Chabadniks--the very people who publicly preach about loving all Jews, who often refer to the Lubavitcher Rebbe's belief that all Jews are like one body and each Jew is important, had no problem blaming Baci Weiler for "taking advantage" of this kiruv worker. <br />
Now, to be clear, I don't blame anyone. I don't believe that there was any wrongdoing in this situation. If anything, there was a misunderstanding. He offered, she accepted, she wore it, it was good. She posted a picture on social media, it got around. Now, many in the Chabad community are showing their true colors and rather than seeing the good (nothing bad happened, this woman's Judaism was inspired, maybe others might be inspired,) many are choosing to denigrate Baci Weiler. You know, blame the woman, the evil temptress who led the man astray--you know, the typical witch hunt accusations that have been tossed around throughout human history. But this isn't about feminism, right? <br />
I've provided a few screen shots of some of the comments from Collive.com, a Chabad community news site. There are some comments that genuinely reflect modern, progressive, and mainstream views. There are more that represent a community mired in both fear and ignorance of gender equality, feminist issues, and progressive thought. There are some people who feel bad for the yeshiva student. (Click pictures to enlarge.)<br />
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<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhihvX8Gze1vYNHcN7J71Mh2ijqYQ6p4PtWCljSmPu3D2PtHPdoHwWxxEaSmKiEuQw5y2yCGux8_R0r7TEYDFRoRcUK2Aaj75WSt2IXPOSeyVVHem7CzQrifc_Yky_tEjw0yZwcHBr7GWhD/s1600/collive+yeshiva+bocher+baci.png" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="212" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhihvX8Gze1vYNHcN7J71Mh2ijqYQ6p4PtWCljSmPu3D2PtHPdoHwWxxEaSmKiEuQw5y2yCGux8_R0r7TEYDFRoRcUK2Aaj75WSt2IXPOSeyVVHem7CzQrifc_Yky_tEjw0yZwcHBr7GWhD/s400/collive+yeshiva+bocher+baci.png" width="400" /></a></div>
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<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhUQvH2t31UX0mhg_UHpnvwPUio1F0UlcTY13lqiZ3Jo9q2D5O6dqHCgEWZOm4nMk9Jl6umnrd70iGFyIAktYPUOEseYhsRW5nDn6ALIUfOd5bE2EA0buaDqZsHflUOFiWvZlXBX2hSy_gX/s1600/Screen+Shot+2015-06-24+at+8.34.44+AM.png" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="387" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhUQvH2t31UX0mhg_UHpnvwPUio1F0UlcTY13lqiZ3Jo9q2D5O6dqHCgEWZOm4nMk9Jl6umnrd70iGFyIAktYPUOEseYhsRW5nDn6ALIUfOd5bE2EA0buaDqZsHflUOFiWvZlXBX2hSy_gX/s400/Screen+Shot+2015-06-24+at+8.34.44+AM.png" width="400" /></a></div>
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<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhJ1gR5SwRX-0PIHxyo-5f5BNnqpw4pyu3lKJS0v4C6yX9DQNyYoAKwgLrfNiCOn55URzQXAKwV-Jih6gSb7dEUD1nyL5TLc7twMVGYBWn2GiaCwTw8-bBCr9jf8pXKDdwyH4VLFGsfjuS1/s1600/Screen+Shot+2015-06-24+at+11.36.14+AM.png" imageanchor="1" style="clear: right; float: right; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-left: 1em;"><img border="0" height="400" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhJ1gR5SwRX-0PIHxyo-5f5BNnqpw4pyu3lKJS0v4C6yX9DQNyYoAKwgLrfNiCOn55URzQXAKwV-Jih6gSb7dEUD1nyL5TLc7twMVGYBWn2GiaCwTw8-bBCr9jf8pXKDdwyH4VLFGsfjuS1/s400/Screen+Shot+2015-06-24+at+11.36.14+AM.png" width="325" /></a></div>
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<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgrRD1zK5OqxOEwBjHNauUgApHLG2FvwDzFwAygObEmAwK9bRpg-Trvw5WxkGr_cy1ceDgmQxLk3zo7yYhfs3kQ2uc9wztt4h9Rie3qPqQw-Xv-aQbXghys_B-gOfmviqMTKMfhoKZklEuZ/s1600/Screen+Shot+2015-06-24+at+11.37.51+AM.png" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="95" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgrRD1zK5OqxOEwBjHNauUgApHLG2FvwDzFwAygObEmAwK9bRpg-Trvw5WxkGr_cy1ceDgmQxLk3zo7yYhfs3kQ2uc9wztt4h9Rie3qPqQw-Xv-aQbXghys_B-gOfmviqMTKMfhoKZklEuZ/s400/Screen+Shot+2015-06-24+at+11.37.51+AM.png" width="400" /></a></div>
<table align="center" cellpadding="0" cellspacing="0" class="tr-caption-container" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto; text-align: center;"><tbody>
<tr><td style="text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEg6nuwqSJ4nNDsYIr8RnmMGJ8oFa1T8Gpd-FG3OayoySiv2kJ27AflY42BogwO-xvV_pgFHzLNhBr2wINRemUhFti-6i3YhDU4k806Pm0y39DrgfS5OYaaoDBeWxlUTPR_xPZeIfT5QcGRm/s1600/Screen+Shot+2015-06-24+at+11.39.20+AM.png" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><img border="0" height="356" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEg6nuwqSJ4nNDsYIr8RnmMGJ8oFa1T8Gpd-FG3OayoySiv2kJ27AflY42BogwO-xvV_pgFHzLNhBr2wINRemUhFti-6i3YhDU4k806Pm0y39DrgfS5OYaaoDBeWxlUTPR_xPZeIfT5QcGRm/s400/Screen+Shot+2015-06-24+at+11.39.20+AM.png" width="400" /></a></td></tr>
<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;">Click individual frames to enlarge.<br />
From Collive.com.1</td></tr>
</tbody></table>
<table cellpadding="0" cellspacing="0" class="tr-caption-container" style="float: right; margin-left: 1em; text-align: right;"><tbody>
<tr><td style="text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiZZLvKbqFIryVqMdbQQSNk0otIQSTfBULjhXlcpaDnIMwlxTnXoc3ZWLESrpSFrkQ0tLMRsFZWIDdfieyWWiOD0FduBCvR8MkzjfgcqQusIHzQFCpAkExhDhcS-h3iYLNpsuldDQ2boMhz/s1600/baci+apology.png" imageanchor="1" style="clear: right; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><img border="0" height="400" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiZZLvKbqFIryVqMdbQQSNk0otIQSTfBULjhXlcpaDnIMwlxTnXoc3ZWLESrpSFrkQ0tLMRsFZWIDdfieyWWiOD0FduBCvR8MkzjfgcqQusIHzQFCpAkExhDhcS-h3iYLNpsuldDQ2boMhz/s400/baci+apology.png" width="311" /></a></td></tr>
<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;">Click to enlarge photo.2</td></tr>
</tbody></table>
The above are some examples of what people in Chabad are saying online. Baci Weiler did write an explanation on her public Facebook page, and I'm including that as well. Towards the end, she states:<br />
<br />
<blockquote class="tr_bq">
On another level, and more importantly, the photo is powerful because it
depicts an instance of accidental pluralism and of shared joy in the
mitzvah of hanachat tefillin. It is a serendipitous glimpse of the world
I wish I lived in: a world where both he, a bearded chabadnik guy, and
I, a buzz-cut egalitarian girl, could be “frum”, regardless of gender or
labels, equally bound by mitzvot.<span style="font-size: x-small;">2</span></blockquote>
<br />
Baci's response sums up so many issues inherent in ultra-orthodox Jewish outreach. <br />
Within kiruv, there is a constant and deliberate white-washing of women's roles within the ultra-orthodox community. During the kiruv process, women are pushed into the community's rigid gender roles while receiving nice, stock answers about why women do certain things and not others, all while pushing them away from egalitarian thought and practice. <br />
Within kiruv, all are accepted as Jews, but Chabad (and other ultra-orthodox groups) do not recognize Reform, Conservative, and other liberal forms of Judaism as legitimate expressions of Judaism. The only pluralism that exists is the "accidental pluralism" that Baci Weiler experienced. Chabad writer Shalom Paltiel claims that "the problem is the labels" and asks:<br />
<blockquote class="tr_bq">
Why can't we all just be "Jewish"? Why the need to label ourselves based on our level of observance?
</blockquote>
<blockquote>
It's true some of us are more religiously observant than others. Is
that reason to categorically divide us into splintering groups? Let us
each observe Judaism and its precepts to the best of our knowledge and
ability, without the need of a name tag proclaiming ourselves a
particular brand.<br />
In addition to dividing us, the labels also limit our growth as Jews.
Once we've been labeled, we no longer feel the need to learn more about
our heritage than is typical for members of our particular group.
Remove the label, and Judaism is yours to explore, completely and
freely, without fear you might cross
the line and observe some tradition that's not for your type.<span style="font-size: x-small;">3</span></blockquote>
<table cellpadding="0" cellspacing="0" class="tr-caption-container" style="float: right; margin-left: 1em; text-align: right;"><tbody>
<tr><td style="text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjRRuzjxeQddph5NYPclwfg3Z6y7Yx2G3ZIX0qWvB7plYvNrrWDQStBqnq-j4jkkzeZ7-l8GsI-FqdjxbOtX_YqEf5-W-FI0BwWT7Om-LPZfI7E6G1x_vSaaeYozBt7yL3CQ67BENUgl6ST/s1600/Rebbe+letter+c%2526reform+heretical.png" imageanchor="1" style="clear: right; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><img border="0" height="400" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjRRuzjxeQddph5NYPclwfg3Z6y7Yx2G3ZIX0qWvB7plYvNrrWDQStBqnq-j4jkkzeZ7-l8GsI-FqdjxbOtX_YqEf5-W-FI0BwWT7Om-LPZfI7E6G1x_vSaaeYozBt7yL3CQ67BENUgl6ST/s400/Rebbe+letter+c%2526reform+heretical.png" width="302" /></a></td></tr>
<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;">Click to enlarge.4</td></tr>
</tbody></table>
<br />
Sounds great in theory, and yet, there is no true freedom in a Judaism (or any religion, culture, community, etc.) divided by prescribed community gender norms and expectations. <br />
In a letter from the Lubavitcher Rebbe, Menachem Schneerson, dated July 21, 1959, it's quite clear that Chabad's official stance is that anything other than orthodox Judaism is heretical. To explain Paltiel's question regarding why we all can't "just be Jewish," it needs to be understood that according to Chabad doctrine, if you are born of a Jewish mother, you are Jewish, but your liberal denomination is not Judaism. Paltiel, Schneerson, the Chabad commenters, and many ultra-orthodox Jews do not recognize other forms of Jewish expression as Judaism, but rather, as heresy. Sure, they'll reach out to you and tell you that "we're all Jews" without a second thought as to the duplicitous nature of their own actions when they want a donation, or when they want to nudge you towards greater observance. What is being left out of all kiruv, is that these outreach organizations--including Chabad--don't, and won't, consider non-orthodox Judaism as legitimate. <br />
There exists a double standard within the Chabad community. Chabad missionaries deceive by intentionally withholding information in order to do kiruv, yet many in Chabad (and other orthodox communities) feel that Baci Weiler's choice to not reveal her gender was what was truly deceitful. Knowing what the Lubavitcher Rebbe preached, and knowing what his followers believe, I can only hope that those who are so outraged by Baci Weiler allowing this Chabad bochur to put tefillin on her, will take a good look in the mirror and realize that this is minor compared to the deception that they are perpetrating daily through the willful suppression of information that might change the minds and actions of the non-orthodox Jews that Chabad approaches.<br />
<br />
<br />
<span style="font-size: x-small;">Works Cited<br />1. Rabbi Calls Out Liberal Hypocrite. Collive. June 23, 2015</span><br />
<span style="font-size: x-small;">2. Weiler, Baci. Facebook post. June 23, 2015. </span><br />
<span style="font-size: x-small;">3. Paltiel, Shalom. Labels are for Suits. Chabad.org.</span><br />
<span style="font-size: x-small;">4. Schneerson, Menachem M. The Conservative and Reform Ideology. Correspondence by Rabbi Menachen M. Schneerson, The Lubavitcher Rebbe. July 21, 1959. qtd. on Chabad.org. </span><br />
.<br />
<br />bechttp://www.blogger.com/profile/16146699715760197131noreply@blogger.com8tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3965506036256262699.post-13679477213135897542015-06-20T21:35:00.001-04:002015-06-20T21:35:30.965-04:00What BuzzFeed Forgot to Tell You About The Lubavitcher Rebbe and Chabad <span style="font-size: x-large;"><b>O</b></span>n June 19, 2015, BuzzFeed posted an article entitled "<a href="http://www.buzzfeed.com/mordechail/11-ways-the-lubavitcher-rebbe-forever-changed-the-bpjm#.gt4PjQ0eY">11 Ways the Lubavitcher Rebbe Forever Changed the World</a>" in honor of the twenty-first anniversary of the death of the Lubavitcher Rebbe, Menachem Mendel Schneerson. It was a very lovely tribute to the man who headed Chabad and still inspires people all over the world to explore orthodox Judaism. I figured I'd quickly add a bit of information that's missing.<br />
<br />
What BuzzFeed lists: "Judaism in the public thoroughfare." They cite the ubiquitous Chabad menorahs as further proof that Judaism is now very public. <br />
What BuzzFeed leaves out: The truth is, Chabad is everywhere, and the same way people don't necessarily want missionaries approaching them, is the same way they may not want Chabad <i>shluchim</i> (emissaries) approaching them. Add a dose of Jewish guilt to the mix and the next thing you know, you're eating <i>cholent</i> and singing Shabbos <i>zmiros</i>. (That's a joke, I think.) A New York Times article about the Rebbe states:<br />
<blockquote class="tr_bq">
[The Rebbe] tried to reach [non-orthodox Jews] through broad public
campaigns that included, in addition to the mitzvah tanks, full-page
newspaper advertisements announcing the time that candles should be
kindled to welcome the Sabbath.
<br />
<div itemprop="articleBody">
While some passers-by accepted the invitation to put
on tefillin -- black leather straps and boxes containing verses from
the Scripture and worn by the faithful during prayer -- the "Are you
Jewish" question rubbed others the wrong way; many thought religion too
private to discuss with strangers on street corners.<span style="font-size: x-small;">1</span> </div>
</blockquote>
<div itemprop="articleBody">
<br /></div>
What BuzzFeed lists: "Speak to the youth." The article goes on to say "instead of viewing children as merely unfinished adults, the Rebbe
viewed the vigor, openness, and pursuit of truth among youth as a unique
advantage they could teach and inspire world-weary adults. In the same
vein, the Rebbe would dedicate special talks to children, engaging with
their minds and hearts with the deepest secrets of the Torah."<span style="font-size: x-small;">2</span><br /> What BuzzFeed leaves out: The Rebbe was a firm believer in "reaching the parent through the child, beginning Torah education early."<span style="font-size: x-small;">3</span> Chabad's handbook for shluchim discusses education for children and the importance of beginning early. It states:<br />
<blockquote class="tr_bq">
Chabad's Mommy and Me programs are places where mothers and children are invited to meetings where innocuous topics as childcare and health are discussed. The children are busy with arts and crafts. Mitzvos and Judaism are introduced after a few sessions. . . . Mommy and Me . . . serves as an exceptional tool to . . . involve them with other Chabad activities.<span style="font-size: x-small;">4</span></blockquote>
Chabad tells people working with non-orthodox parents who were convinced to put their children in a Chabad-directed school:<br />
<blockquote class="tr_bq">
In order to be successful in involving and bringing families closer to Yiddishkeit, we, the administrators and teachers, need to establish warm and positive personal relationships with individual families. They then feel comfortable with us, trust us and want to work with us.<br /> Once parents feel that we do, indeed, care about them on a personal level, they will then be more inclined to become involved with the school's programs. With friendly encouragement they will begin to make personal commitments to mitzvos as well. The more exposure and contact we have with the families the closer they will become. <span style="font-size: x-small;">5</span></blockquote>
<br />
<br />
Without going into a tirade about campus kiruv, a New York Times article about the Rebbe mentions that "one Reform group attacked him for luring non-Orthodox children to
Hasidic lives in which they rejected the values of their parents."<span style="font-size: x-small;">6</span><br />
<br />
What BuzzFeed lists: "Rebellion is Revelation" and states:
<br />
<blockquote class="tr_bq">
The Rebbe’s approach declared, “Finally the iceberg of America is
beginning to melt! Finally, its young people are demonstrating that
conformity is not the sum of life’s goals! They have smashed the idols
of false progress — they need now only be led back to the living waters
of their heritage.<span style="font-size: x-small;">7</span></blockquote>
What BuzzFeed leaves out: While refusing to conform to the norms of the secular world may be seen and celebrated in a positive light, try telling a person living in the Chabad world that they don't need to conform to the standards of their ultra-orthodox community and see what they say. Both women and men who wish to leave Chabad and orthodoxy struggle to retain custody of their children. Women often struggle to obtain a proper get (Jewish divorce) from their husbands. Families often completely shun their grown children who refuse to conform and opt out of orthodoxy. A double standard exists in this world: if you refuse to conform to the secular and/or non-orthodox worlds, you are celebrated. If you refuse to conform to Chabad's strict orthodoxy--which is not the same happy-go-lucky orthodoxy sold to you at the Shabbos table--you are rejected.<br />
<br /> What BuzzFeed lists: "The Power of the Feminine Soul" stating that:<br />
<blockquote class="tr_bq">
When the world struggled with including women within the rubric of
Jewish tradition, the Rebbe had already long empowered women to be
leaders and thinkers, masters of Jewish future and bringers of light in
the world.<span style="font-size: x-small;">8</span></blockquote>
What BuzzFeed leaves out: While this sounds nice on paper, this is specifically about Judaism, and not the world at large. This also neglects to mention that women must follow certain gender-based laws within Judaism, as interpreted by the Lubavitch movement. Women are still bound by the same laws of orthodoxy as all orthodox women. For example, women must follow the Rebbe's orders that they cover their hair specifically (and are often chastised by other women if they don't,) women are told how to dress, and young girls are groomed from the time they are in school on how to be a proper daughter of Israel--according to Chabad's teachings. Women's issues are sugar-coated by apologists who still bow to the religious patriarchy which still enforces many antiquated beliefs.<br /><br />
What BuzzFeed lists: "No person is far gone." Chabad is famous for the outreach work they do to Jews in prison. The article states "even someone imprisoned for crimes committed, could not be overlooked or
ignored and can and should be rehabilitated and activated for good."<span style="font-size: x-small;">9</span><br /> What BuzzFeed leaves out: While the Rebbe may have been a great guy for bringing Judaism to the <i>tinok shenishba</i> (Jews who aren't religious due to ignorance) in prison, believing that he/she can be spiritually reformed, the same belief isn't always held for those believed to be heretics and apostates. Heretics and apostates are often excommunicated, cast out from both family and community, sometimes out of fear that they will have a negative influence on others in the community. In a nutshell: criminals--not far gone, people leaving Chabad and orthodoxy--far gone.<br /><br /> What BuzzFeed lists: "Joy." The article states "Judaism deserved not to be mourned and eulogized, but to be celebrated."<span style="font-size: x-small;">10</span><br />
What BuzzFeed leaves out: Even in living Judaism with joy, it is still orthodox-centric. Mixed dancing is prohibited, men are not allowed to listen to women sing, and all joyous activities must still follow orthodox guidelines. As for Judaism being celebrated, I do wonder about the balance of joy. While there are some families where fathers are taking a more active role in childcare and home-related chores, I know that there are many that aren't, or that traditionally haven't, and while men are out <i>farbrenging</i> (a <i>farbrengen</i> is a joyous Chasidic celebration,) the women are often at home, caring for children.<br /><br /> What BuzzFeed lists: "Always Practical." The Rebbe wanted people to do mitzvot (commandments,) often translated as "good deeds." He felt that it was more important to do something--no matter how simple, rather than nothing. <br /> What BuzzFeed leaves out: The motivation is that every mitzvah/deed that a person does brings Moshiach (the messiah) and redemption closer. Getting non-orthodox Jews to help Chabadniks score points by agreeing to put on <i>tefillin</i> (phylacteries) or make a blessing on an apple and honey for Rosh Hashanah may seem innocuous, but understand why these things are being pushed. <br />
<br /> What BuzzFeed lists: "We are All One Community." The article states "as the Rebbe told
then New York Mayor David Dinkins, “We are one side. We are one people,
living in one city, under one administration and under one G-d.”<span style="font-size: x-small;">11</span><br /> What BuzzFeed leaves out: The Rebbe may have felt that "we are one people" but I have to wonder when there is infighting between sects, the infighting within sects, hateful and condescending comments often made about the Conservative, Reform, and other liberal denominations, racism, and the shameful elitism often found in online Chabad forums.<br /><br />
<br />
<br />
What BuzzFeed lists: "Harness Technology."<br />
<blockquote>
The Rebbe . . . considered [technology] a valuable
component to achieving greater good.<br />
Using the latest means of communication, the Rebbe encouraged that
radio in the 1950s, satellite in the 1980s and Internet in the early 1990s
all be used to promulgate knowledge and education. When technology was
harnessed properly, he taught, it not only was not a negative, but
itself a portent G-dliness[sic] and goodness in the world.<span style="font-size: x-small;">12</span></blockquote>
What BuzzFeed leaves out: Technology is a very important tool in Chabad's method of kiruv. They have a huge, active website, and each Chabad House around the world appears to have a website that is linked to the main site. Their program calendars are listed, as are the services that they offer. Chabad also uses technology to keep in touch with their shluchim (emissaries) who often live far from their families, friends, and communities. Children of shluchim often use the internet as an educational tool. It's not that the Rebbe is telling you to spend your days and nights on Facebook, but rather that technology can be used to their benefit in furthering their own outreach goals.<br />
<br /> What BuzzFeed lists: "Think Global." This brief section is simply about the thousands of kiruv workers sent to live and work all over the world, in order to missionize non-orthodox Jews. <br /> What BuzzFeed leaves out: This isn't quite the same global thinking that environmentalists have in mind.<br />
<br /> What BuzzFeed lists: "Act local." The article mentions that "emissaries are largely funded locally, forming a holistic part of the local community."<span style="font-size: x-small;">13</span><br /> What BuzzFeed leaves out: Actions cannot take place without funding. While Chabad programs are often highly subsidized with a suggested donation and a pay what you can/we won't turn you away attitude, the truth is, shluchim often live on community donations and receive very little funding from the main Chabad offices, and usually only during the first year. This is one of the reasons why Chabad trains future kiruv workers in the fine art of fundraising. And yes, they're pretty good at it.<br />
<br /><span style="font-size: x-small;">Works Cited</span><br />
<span style="font-size: x-small;">1. <span style="font-weight: normal;">Goldman, Ari L. Rabbi Schneerson Led A Small Hasidic Sect To World Prominence. The New York Times. June 13, 1994.</span></span><br />
<span style="font-size: x-small;"><span style="font-weight: normal;">2. BuzzFeed Community Member "Mordechail." </span>11 Ways the Lubavitcher Rebbe Forever Changed the World. BuzzFeed.com. June, 19, 2015.</span><br />
<span style="font-size: x-small;">3. Plotkin, Goldie, qtd. in Shlichus: Meeting the Outreach Challenge. Nshei Ubnos Chabad, 1991. p76.</span><br />
<span style="font-size: x-small;">4. Lerner, Nettie, qtd. in Shlichus: Meeting the Outreach Challenge. Nshei Ubnos Chabad, 1991. pp. 75-6.</span><br />
<span style="font-size: x-small;">5. Fajnland, Ronya, qtd. in Shlichus Outreach Insights. Nshei Chabad Publications. 1996. p.69.</span><br />
<span style="font-size: x-small;">6. <span style="font-weight: normal;">Goldman, Ari L. Rabbi Schneerson Led A Small Hasidic Sect To World Prominence. The New York Times. June 13, 1994.</span></span><br />
<span style="font-size: x-small;">7. <span style="font-weight: normal;">BuzzFeed Community Member "Mordechail." </span>11 Ways the Lubavitcher Rebbe Forever Changed the World. BuzzFeed.com. June, 19, 2015.</span><br />
<span style="font-size: x-small;">8. ibid.</span><br />
<span style="font-size: x-small;">9. ibid. <br />10. ibid.<br />11. ibid.</span><br />
<span style="font-size: x-small;">12. ibid.<br />13. ibid.</span><br /><br />
<br />bechttp://www.blogger.com/profile/16146699715760197131noreply@blogger.com3tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3965506036256262699.post-48245706377234591992015-06-15T22:05:00.000-04:002015-07-11T21:35:12.795-04:00Shabbat.Kiruv and New Update<span data-reactid=".5j.1:4:1:$comment10153416763237760_10153416878867760:0.0.$right.0.$left.0.0.1"><span data-ft="{"tn":"K"}" data-reactid=".5j.1:4:1:$comment10153416763237760_10153416878867760:0.0.$right.0.$left.0.0.1.$comment-body"><span class="UFICommentBody _1n4g" data-reactid=".5j.1:4:1:$comment10153416763237760_10153416878867760:0.0.$right.0.$left.0.0.1.$comment-body.0"><span data-reactid=".5j.1:4:1:$comment10153416763237760_10153416878867760:0.0.$right.0.$left.0.0.1.$comment-body.0.3"><span data-reactid=".5j.1:4:1:$comment10153416763237760_10153416878867760:0.0.$right.0.$left.0.0.1.$comment-body.0.3.0"><span data-reactid=".5j.1:4:1:$comment10153416763237760_10153416878867760:0.0.$right.0.$left.0.0.1.$comment-body.0.3.0.$end:0:$text4:0"> <span style="font-size: x-large;"><b> R</b></span>ecently, a good friend reminded me about this internal email sent around a while back to Shabbat/Shabbos hosts, allegedly from Rabbi Klatzko, the head of Shabbat.com--a kiruv organization that sets up hosts and guest for Shabbos meals and observance. What follows is a set of guidelines for hosts to follow in order to promote orthodoxy. My comments follow after each suggestion. The suggestions from the email are indented but I added everything within the [brackets.] Additionally, in my commentary, I use the word "allegedly" since I was given the text of this email and not actual screen shots. </span></span></span></span></span></span><br />
<blockquote class="tr_bq">
<div style="text-align: left;">
<span data-reactid=".5j.1:4:1:$comment10153416763237760_10153416878867760:0.0.$right.0.$left.0.0.1"><span data-ft="{"tn":"K"}" data-reactid=".5j.1:4:1:$comment10153416763237760_10153416878867760:0.0.$right.0.$left.0.0.1.$comment-body"><span class="UFICommentBody _1n4g" data-reactid=".5j.1:4:1:$comment10153416763237760_10153416878867760:0.0.$right.0.$left.0.0.1.$comment-body.0"><span data-reactid=".5j.1:4:1:$comment10153416763237760_10153416878867760:0.0.$right.0.$left.0.0.1.$comment-body.0.3"><span data-reactid=".5j.1:4:1:$comment10153416763237760_10153416878867760:0.0.$right.0.$left.0.0.1.$comment-body.0.3.0"><span data-reactid=".5j.1:4:1:$comment10153416763237760_10153416878867760:0.0.$right.0.$left.0.0.1.$comment-body.0.3.0.$end:0:$text4:0">From Rabbi Klatzko - Suggestions for Hosting guests at your Shabbos Table</span></span></span></span></span></span><br />
<span data-reactid=".5j.1:4:1:$comment10153416763237760_10153416878867760:0.0.$right.0.$left.0.0.1"><span data-ft="{"tn":"K"}" data-reactid=".5j.1:4:1:$comment10153416763237760_10153416878867760:0.0.$right.0.$left.0.0.1.$comment-body"><span class="UFICommentBody _1n4g" data-reactid=".5j.1:4:1:$comment10153416763237760_10153416878867760:0.0.$right.0.$left.0.0.1.$comment-body.0"><span data-reactid=".5j.1:4:1:$comment10153416763237760_10153416878867760:0.0.$right.0.$left.0.0.1.$comment-body.0.3"><span data-reactid=".5j.1:4:1:$comment10153416763237760_10153416878867760:0.0.$right.0.$left.0.0.1.$comment-body.0.3.0"></span></span></span></span></span><br data-reactid=".5j.1:4:1:$comment10153416763237760_10153416878867760:0.0.$right.0.$left.0.0.1.$comment-body.0.3.0.$end:0:$text7:0" />
<span data-reactid=".5j.1:4:1:$comment10153416763237760_10153416878867760:0.0.$right.0.$left.0.0.1"><span data-ft="{"tn":"K"}" data-reactid=".5j.1:4:1:$comment10153416763237760_10153416878867760:0.0.$right.0.$left.0.0.1.$comment-body"><span class="UFICommentBody _1n4g" data-reactid=".5j.1:4:1:$comment10153416763237760_10153416878867760:0.0.$right.0.$left.0.0.1.$comment-body.0"><span data-reactid=".5j.1:4:1:$comment10153416763237760_10153416878867760:0.0.$right.0.$left.0.0.1.$comment-body.0.3"><span data-reactid=".5j.1:4:1:$comment10153416763237760_10153416878867760:0.0.$right.0.$left.0.0.1.$comment-body.0.3.0"><span data-reactid=".5j.1:4:1:$comment10153416763237760_10153416878867760:0.0.$right.0.$left.0.0.1.$comment-body.0.3.0.$end:0:$text8:0">1- NEVER speak about these four things:</span></span></span></span></span></span><br />
<span data-reactid=".5j.1:4:1:$comment10153416763237760_10153416878867760:0.0.$right.0.$left.0.0.1"><span data-ft="{"tn":"K"}" data-reactid=".5j.1:4:1:$comment10153416763237760_10153416878867760:0.0.$right.0.$left.0.0.1.$comment-body"><span class="UFICommentBody _1n4g" data-reactid=".5j.1:4:1:$comment10153416763237760_10153416878867760:0.0.$right.0.$left.0.0.1.$comment-body.0"><span data-reactid=".5j.1:4:1:$comment10153416763237760_10153416878867760:0.0.$right.0.$left.0.0.1.$comment-body.0.3"><span data-reactid=".5j.1:4:1:$comment10153416763237760_10153416878867760:0.0.$right.0.$left.0.0.1.$comment-body.0.3.0"><span data-reactid=".5j.1:4:1:$comment10153416763237760_10153416878867760:0.0.$right.0.$left.0.0.1.$comment-body.0.3.0.$end:0:$text10:0">1-
Women's issues- eg. agunah, [married woman whose husband refuses to
grant a religious divorce, despite her request for a divorce,] mechitza,</span></span></span></span></span></span> [separation of men and women at synagogue]<br />
<span data-reactid=".5j.1:4:1:$comment10153416763237760_10153416878867760:0.0.$right.0.$left.0.0.1"><span data-ft="{"tn":"K"}" data-reactid=".5j.1:4:1:$comment10153416763237760_10153416878867760:0.0.$right.0.$left.0.0.1.$comment-body"><span class="UFICommentBody _1n4g" data-reactid=".5j.1:4:1:$comment10153416763237760_10153416878867760:0.0.$right.0.$left.0.0.1.$comment-body.0"><span data-reactid=".5j.1:4:1:$comment10153416763237760_10153416878867760:0.0.$right.0.$left.0.0.1.$comment-body.0.3"><span data-reactid=".5j.1:4:1:$comment10153416763237760_10153416878867760:0.0.$right.0.$left.0.0.1.$comment-body.0.3.0"><span data-reactid=".5j.1:4:1:$comment10153416763237760_10153416878867760:0.0.$right.0.$left.0.0.1.$comment-body.0.3.0.$end:0:$text12:0">2- avoid speaking about denominations (reform, conservative, etc.)</span></span></span></span></span></span><br />
<span data-reactid=".5j.1:4:1:$comment10153416763237760_10153416878867760:0.0.$right.0.$left.0.0.1"><span data-ft="{"tn":"K"}" data-reactid=".5j.1:4:1:$comment10153416763237760_10153416878867760:0.0.$right.0.$left.0.0.1.$comment-body"><span class="UFICommentBody _1n4g" data-reactid=".5j.1:4:1:$comment10153416763237760_10153416878867760:0.0.$right.0.$left.0.0.1.$comment-body.0"><span data-reactid=".5j.1:4:1:$comment10153416763237760_10153416878867760:0.0.$right.0.$left.0.0.1.$comment-body.0.3"><span data-reactid=".5j.1:4:1:$comment10153416763237760_10153416878867760:0.0.$right.0.$left.0.0.1.$comment-body.0.3.0"><span data-reactid=".5j.1:4:1:$comment10153416763237760_10153416878867760:0.0.$right.0.$left.0.0.1.$comment-body.0.3.0.$end:0:$text14:0">3- don't speak about homosexuality</span></span></span></span></span></span><br />
<span data-reactid=".5j.1:4:1:$comment10153416763237760_10153416878867760:0.0.$right.0.$left.0.0.1"><span data-ft="{"tn":"K"}" data-reactid=".5j.1:4:1:$comment10153416763237760_10153416878867760:0.0.$right.0.$left.0.0.1.$comment-body"><span class="UFICommentBody _1n4g" data-reactid=".5j.1:4:1:$comment10153416763237760_10153416878867760:0.0.$right.0.$left.0.0.1.$comment-body.0"><span data-reactid=".5j.1:4:1:$comment10153416763237760_10153416878867760:0.0.$right.0.$left.0.0.1.$comment-body.0.3"><span data-reactid=".5j.1:4:1:$comment10153416763237760_10153416878867760:0.0.$right.0.$left.0.0.1.$comment-body.0.3.0"><span data-reactid=".5j.1:4:1:$comment10153416763237760_10153416878867760:0.0.$right.0.$left.0.0.1.$comment-body.0.3.0.$end:0:$text16:0">4- don't speak about Chareidim [ultra-orthodox Jews] and the army</span></span></span></span></span></span></div>
</blockquote>
When someone suggests that you never speak of something, the first thing you should ask is "why are these topics forbidden?" Let's take a brief minute to go through each forbidden topic.<br />
Why shouldn't ultra-orthodox hosts discuss <b>women's issues</b>? This leads to dangerous territory for kiruv professionals. Modern educated women and men are not going to be happy when they learn that women's separation is about women being a distraction, about women being possibly considered impure if they are menstruating, and about women being held captive by husbands who refuse them a get (a Jewish divorce) that will permit them to remarry within observant Judaism.<br />
Why shouldn't Shabbos hosts discuss <b>non-orthodox denominations of Judaism</b>? Ultra-orthodox Judaism does not accept non-orthodox denominations of Judaism as legitimate Jewish practice. Notice how the text says "about denominations" and not "about denominations of Judaism." Why not speak about these denominations of Judaism? Perhaps because they want to avoid having to denounce them, and thus turn off non-orthodox Jews. Let them find out later how you really feel, after you've hooked them.<br />
Why shouldn't Shabbos hosts discuss <b>homosexuality</b>? Ultra-orthodox Jews believe that homosexuality is wrong (the term "abomination" is often tossed around casually,) and some have pushed gay people into programs such as JONAH, which attempt to make gay people straight. Obviously, a discussion of how the Torah claims that homosexuals should be stoned to death is not something they want to discuss at the Shabbos table with people of various backgrounds.<br />
Why not discuss <b>Chareidim and the army</b>? Non-orthodox Jews who may or may not be Zionists might find it a bit odd that ultra-orthodox Jews get a free pass from the Israeli army, while non-(ultra) orthodox Jews are risking their own lives for the safety of ALL who live in Israel. Regardless of one's position on Israel, most people would probably find this to be extremely unbalanced.<br />
<blockquote class="tr_bq">
<div style="text-align: left;">
<span data-reactid=".5j.1:4:1:$comment10153416763237760_10153416878867760:0.0.$right.0.$left.0.0.1"><span data-ft="{"tn":"K"}" data-reactid=".5j.1:4:1:$comment10153416763237760_10153416878867760:0.0.$right.0.$left.0.0.1.$comment-body"><span class="UFICommentBody _1n4g" data-reactid=".5j.1:4:1:$comment10153416763237760_10153416878867760:0.0.$right.0.$left.0.0.1.$comment-body.0"><span data-reactid=".5j.1:4:1:$comment10153416763237760_10153416878867760:0.0.$right.0.$left.0.0.1.$comment-body.0.3"><span data-reactid=".5j.1:4:1:$comment10153416763237760_10153416878867760:0.0.$right.0.$left.0.0.1.$comment-body.0.3.0"></span></span></span></span></span><br data-reactid=".5j.1:4:1:$comment10153416763237760_10153416878867760:0.0.$right.0.$left.0.0.1.$comment-body.0.3.0.$end:0:$text19:0" />
<span data-reactid=".5j.1:4:1:$comment10153416763237760_10153416878867760:0.0.$right.0.$left.0.0.1"><span data-ft="{"tn":"K"}" data-reactid=".5j.1:4:1:$comment10153416763237760_10153416878867760:0.0.$right.0.$left.0.0.1.$comment-body"><span class="UFICommentBody _1n4g" data-reactid=".5j.1:4:1:$comment10153416763237760_10153416878867760:0.0.$right.0.$left.0.0.1.$comment-body.0"><span data-reactid=".5j.1:4:1:$comment10153416763237760_10153416878867760:0.0.$right.0.$left.0.0.1.$comment-body.0.3"><span data-reactid=".5j.1:4:1:$comment10153416763237760_10153416878867760:0.0.$right.0.$left.0.0.1.$comment-body.0.3.0"><span data-reactid=".5j.1:4:1:$comment10153416763237760_10153416878867760:0.0.$right.0.$left.0.0.1.$comment-body.0.3.0.$end:0:$text20:0">2- General Rule- NEVER GO NEGATIVE</span></span></span></span></span></span><br />
<span data-reactid=".5j.1:4:1:$comment10153416763237760_10153416878867760:0.0.$right.0.$left.0.0.1"><span data-ft="{"tn":"K"}" data-reactid=".5j.1:4:1:$comment10153416763237760_10153416878867760:0.0.$right.0.$left.0.0.1.$comment-body"><span class="UFICommentBody _1n4g" data-reactid=".5j.1:4:1:$comment10153416763237760_10153416878867760:0.0.$right.0.$left.0.0.1.$comment-body.0"><span data-reactid=".5j.1:4:1:$comment10153416763237760_10153416878867760:0.0.$right.0.$left.0.0.1.$comment-body.0.3"><span data-reactid=".5j.1:4:1:$comment10153416763237760_10153416878867760:0.0.$right.0.$left.0.0.1.$comment-body.0.3.0"><span data-reactid=".5j.1:4:1:$comment10153416763237760_10153416878867760:0.0.$right.0.$left.0.0.1.$comment-body.0.3.0.$end:0:$text22:0">people don't remember arguments- they remember IMPRESSIONS</span></span></span></span></span></span><br />
<span data-reactid=".5j.1:4:1:$comment10153416763237760_10153416878867760:0.0.$right.0.$left.0.0.1"><span data-ft="{"tn":"K"}" data-reactid=".5j.1:4:1:$comment10153416763237760_10153416878867760:0.0.$right.0.$left.0.0.1.$comment-body"><span class="UFICommentBody _1n4g" data-reactid=".5j.1:4:1:$comment10153416763237760_10153416878867760:0.0.$right.0.$left.0.0.1.$comment-body.0"><span data-reactid=".5j.1:4:1:$comment10153416763237760_10153416878867760:0.0.$right.0.$left.0.0.1.$comment-body.0.3"><span data-reactid=".5j.1:4:1:$comment10153416763237760_10153416878867760:0.0.$right.0.$left.0.0.1.$comment-body.0.3.0"><span data-reactid=".5j.1:4:1:$comment10153416763237760_10153416878867760:0.0.$right.0.$left.0.0.1.$comment-body.0.3.0.$end:0:$text24:0">were you disparaging, bullying.</span></span></span></span></span></span><br />
<span data-reactid=".5j.1:4:1:$comment10153416763237760_10153416878867760:0.0.$right.0.$left.0.0.1"><span data-ft="{"tn":"K"}" data-reactid=".5j.1:4:1:$comment10153416763237760_10153416878867760:0.0.$right.0.$left.0.0.1.$comment-body"><span class="UFICommentBody _1n4g" data-reactid=".5j.1:4:1:$comment10153416763237760_10153416878867760:0.0.$right.0.$left.0.0.1.$comment-body.0"><span data-reactid=".5j.1:4:1:$comment10153416763237760_10153416878867760:0.0.$right.0.$left.0.0.1.$comment-body.0.3"><span data-reactid=".5j.1:4:1:$comment10153416763237760_10153416878867760:0.0.$right.0.$left.0.0.1.$comment-body.0.3.0"><span data-reactid=".5j.1:4:1:$comment10153416763237760_10153416878867760:0.0.$right.0.$left.0.0.1.$comment-body.0.3.0.$end:0:$text26:0">BE POSITIVE!</span></span></span></span></span></span><br />
<span data-reactid=".5j.1:4:1:$comment10153416763237760_10153416878867760:0.0.$right.0.$left.0.0.1"><span data-ft="{"tn":"K"}" data-reactid=".5j.1:4:1:$comment10153416763237760_10153416878867760:0.0.$right.0.$left.0.0.1.$comment-body"><span class="UFICommentBody _1n4g" data-reactid=".5j.1:4:1:$comment10153416763237760_10153416878867760:0.0.$right.0.$left.0.0.1.$comment-body.0"><span data-reactid=".5j.1:4:1:$comment10153416763237760_10153416878867760:0.0.$right.0.$left.0.0.1.$comment-body.0.3"><span data-reactid=".5j.1:4:1:$comment10153416763237760_10153416878867760:0.0.$right.0.$left.0.0.1.$comment-body.0.3.0"><span data-reactid=".5j.1:4:1:$comment10153416763237760_10153416878867760:0.0.$right.0.$left.0.0.1.$comment-body.0.3.0.$end:0:$text28:0">- don't assume people have preconceived notions about being frum</span></span></span></span></span></span><br />
<span data-reactid=".5j.1:4:1:$comment10153416763237760_10153416878867760:0.0.$right.0.$left.0.0.1"><span data-ft="{"tn":"K"}" data-reactid=".5j.1:4:1:$comment10153416763237760_10153416878867760:0.0.$right.0.$left.0.0.1.$comment-body"><span class="UFICommentBody _1n4g" data-reactid=".5j.1:4:1:$comment10153416763237760_10153416878867760:0.0.$right.0.$left.0.0.1.$comment-body.0"><span data-reactid=".5j.1:4:1:$comment10153416763237760_10153416878867760:0.0.$right.0.$left.0.0.1.$comment-body.0.3"><span data-reactid=".5j.1:4:1:$comment10153416763237760_10153416878867760:0.0.$right.0.$left.0.0.1.$comment-body.0.3.0"><span data-reactid=".5j.1:4:1:$comment10153416763237760_10153416878867760:0.0.$right.0.$left.0.0.1.$comment-body.0.3.0.$end:0:$text30:0">- Stay in your element- don't try too hard, be yourself- don't put on a show</span></span></span></span></span></span><br />
<span data-reactid=".5j.1:4:1:$comment10153416763237760_10153416878867760:0.0.$right.0.$left.0.0.1"><span data-ft="{"tn":"K"}" data-reactid=".5j.1:4:1:$comment10153416763237760_10153416878867760:0.0.$right.0.$left.0.0.1.$comment-body"><span class="UFICommentBody _1n4g" data-reactid=".5j.1:4:1:$comment10153416763237760_10153416878867760:0.0.$right.0.$left.0.0.1.$comment-body.0"><span data-reactid=".5j.1:4:1:$comment10153416763237760_10153416878867760:0.0.$right.0.$left.0.0.1.$comment-body.0.3"><span data-reactid=".5j.1:4:1:$comment10153416763237760_10153416878867760:0.0.$right.0.$left.0.0.1.$comment-body.0.3.0"><span data-reactid=".5j.1:4:1:$comment10153416763237760_10153416878867760:0.0.$right.0.$left.0.0.1.$comment-body.0.3.0.$end:0:$text32:0">- Stay away from stories that are difficult to believe! They can't relate to them.</span></span></span></span></span></span><br />
<span data-reactid=".5j.1:4:1:$comment10153416763237760_10153416878867760:0.0.$right.0.$left.0.0.1"><span data-ft="{"tn":"K"}" data-reactid=".5j.1:4:1:$comment10153416763237760_10153416878867760:0.0.$right.0.$left.0.0.1.$comment-body"><span class="UFICommentBody _1n4g" data-reactid=".5j.1:4:1:$comment10153416763237760_10153416878867760:0.0.$right.0.$left.0.0.1.$comment-body.0"><span data-reactid=".5j.1:4:1:$comment10153416763237760_10153416878867760:0.0.$right.0.$left.0.0.1.$comment-body.0.3"><span data-reactid=".5j.1:4:1:$comment10153416763237760_10153416878867760:0.0.$right.0.$left.0.0.1.$comment-body.0.3.0"><span data-reactid=".5j.1:4:1:$comment10153416763237760_10153416878867760:0.0.$right.0.$left.0.0.1.$comment-body.0.3.0.$end:0:$text34:0">Speak about moral ideas- how to have compassion, how to treat others, etc</span></span></span></span></span></span><br />
<span data-reactid=".5j.1:4:1:$comment10153416763237760_10153416878867760:0.0.$right.0.$left.0.0.1"><span data-ft="{"tn":"K"}" data-reactid=".5j.1:4:1:$comment10153416763237760_10153416878867760:0.0.$right.0.$left.0.0.1.$comment-body"><span class="UFICommentBody _1n4g" data-reactid=".5j.1:4:1:$comment10153416763237760_10153416878867760:0.0.$right.0.$left.0.0.1.$comment-body.0"><span data-reactid=".5j.1:4:1:$comment10153416763237760_10153416878867760:0.0.$right.0.$left.0.0.1.$comment-body.0.3"><span data-reactid=".5j.1:4:1:$comment10153416763237760_10153416878867760:0.0.$right.0.$left.0.0.1.$comment-body.0.3.0"><span data-reactid=".5j.1:4:1:$comment10153416763237760_10153416878867760:0.0.$right.0.$left.0.0.1.$comment-body.0.3.0.$end:0:$text36:0">Suggested reading: Zelig Pliskin- "Love Your Neighbor" - moral in each parsha</span></span></span></span></span></span><br />
<span data-reactid=".5j.1:4:1:$comment10153416763237760_10153416878867760:0.0.$right.0.$left.0.0.1"><span data-ft="{"tn":"K"}" data-reactid=".5j.1:4:1:$comment10153416763237760_10153416878867760:0.0.$right.0.$left.0.0.1.$comment-body"><span class="UFICommentBody _1n4g" data-reactid=".5j.1:4:1:$comment10153416763237760_10153416878867760:0.0.$right.0.$left.0.0.1.$comment-body.0"><span data-reactid=".5j.1:4:1:$comment10153416763237760_10153416878867760:0.0.$right.0.$left.0.0.1.$comment-body.0.3"><span data-reactid=".5j.1:4:1:$comment10153416763237760_10153416878867760:0.0.$right.0.$left.0.0.1.$comment-body.0.3.0"></span></span></span></span></span></div>
</blockquote>
Number two starts off fair. No matter who you are, it's a bad idea to bully and belittle your guests. I hope this is common knowledge everywhere. The fact that he has to remind people of this makes me wary of how well the hosts on this site are screened before people are sent off to their homes. My only real issue with this section is this line: "<span data-reactid=".5j.1:4:1:$comment10153416763237760_10153416878867760:0.0.$right.0.$left.0.0.1"><span data-ft="{"tn":"K"}" data-reactid=".5j.1:4:1:$comment10153416763237760_10153416878867760:0.0.$right.0.$left.0.0.1.$comment-body"><span class="UFICommentBody _1n4g" data-reactid=".5j.1:4:1:$comment10153416763237760_10153416878867760:0.0.$right.0.$left.0.0.1.$comment-body.0"><span data-reactid=".5j.1:4:1:$comment10153416763237760_10153416878867760:0.0.$right.0.$left.0.0.1.$comment-body.0.3"><span data-reactid=".5j.1:4:1:$comment10153416763237760_10153416878867760:0.0.$right.0.$left.0.0.1.$comment-body.0.3.0"><span data-reactid=".5j.1:4:1:$comment10153416763237760_10153416878867760:0.0.$right.0.$left.0.0.1.$comment-body.0.3.0.$end:0:$text32:0">Stay away from stories that are difficult to believe! They can't relate to them." In the secular world, many stories that are difficult to believe require the suspension of disbelief. We usually refer to those as fiction.</span></span></span></span></span></span><br />
<br />
<blockquote class="tr_bq">
<span data-reactid=".5j.1:4:1:$comment10153416763237760_10153416878867760:0.0.$right.0.$left.0.0.1"><span data-ft="{"tn":"K"}" data-reactid=".5j.1:4:1:$comment10153416763237760_10153416878867760:0.0.$right.0.$left.0.0.1.$comment-body"><span class="UFICommentBody _1n4g" data-reactid=".5j.1:4:1:$comment10153416763237760_10153416878867760:0.0.$right.0.$left.0.0.1.$comment-body.0"><span data-reactid=".5j.1:4:1:$comment10153416763237760_10153416878867760:0.0.$right.0.$left.0.0.1.$comment-body.0.3"><span data-reactid=".5j.1:4:1:$comment10153416763237760_10153416878867760:0.0.$right.0.$left.0.0.1.$comment-body.0.3.0"><span data-reactid=".5j.1:4:1:$comment10153416763237760_10153416878867760:0.0.$right.0.$left.0.0.1.$comment-body.0.3.0.$end:0:$text32:0"> </span></span></span></span></span></span><span data-reactid=".5j.1:4:1:$comment10153416763237760_10153416878867760:0.0.$right.0.$left.0.0.1"><span data-ft="{"tn":"K"}" data-reactid=".5j.1:4:1:$comment10153416763237760_10153416878867760:0.0.$right.0.$left.0.0.1.$comment-body"><span class="UFICommentBody _1n4g" data-reactid=".5j.1:4:1:$comment10153416763237760_10153416878867760:0.0.$right.0.$left.0.0.1.$comment-body.0"><span data-reactid=".5j.1:4:1:$comment10153416763237760_10153416878867760:0.0.$right.0.$left.0.0.1.$comment-body.0.3"><span data-reactid=".5j.1:4:1:$comment10153416763237760_10153416878867760:0.0.$right.0.$left.0.0.1.$comment-body.0.3.0"><span data-reactid=".5j.1:4:1:$comment10153416763237760_10153416878867760:0.0.$right.0.$left.0.0.1.$comment-body.0.3.0.$end:0:$text40:0">3- Things that make big impressions:</span></span></span></span></span></span></blockquote>
<blockquote class="tr_bq">
<div style="text-align: left;">
<span data-reactid=".5j.1:4:1:$comment10153416763237760_10153416878867760:0.0.$right.0.$left.0.0.1"><span data-ft="{"tn":"K"}" data-reactid=".5j.1:4:1:$comment10153416763237760_10153416878867760:0.0.$right.0.$left.0.0.1.$comment-body"><span class="UFICommentBody _1n4g" data-reactid=".5j.1:4:1:$comment10153416763237760_10153416878867760:0.0.$right.0.$left.0.0.1.$comment-body.0"><span data-reactid=".5j.1:4:1:$comment10153416763237760_10153416878867760:0.0.$right.0.$left.0.0.1.$comment-body.0.3"><span data-reactid=".5j.1:4:1:$comment10153416763237760_10153416878867760:0.0.$right.0.$left.0.0.1.$comment-body.0.3.0"><span data-reactid=".5j.1:4:1:$comment10153416763237760_10153416878867760:0.0.$right.0.$left.0.0.1.$comment-body.0.3.0.$end:0:$text42:0">- seeing the husband helping out- eg setting or clearing the table</span></span></span></span></span></span><br />
<span data-reactid=".5j.1:4:1:$comment10153416763237760_10153416878867760:0.0.$right.0.$left.0.0.1"><span data-ft="{"tn":"K"}" data-reactid=".5j.1:4:1:$comment10153416763237760_10153416878867760:0.0.$right.0.$left.0.0.1.$comment-body"><span class="UFICommentBody _1n4g" data-reactid=".5j.1:4:1:$comment10153416763237760_10153416878867760:0.0.$right.0.$left.0.0.1.$comment-body.0"><span data-reactid=".5j.1:4:1:$comment10153416763237760_10153416878867760:0.0.$right.0.$left.0.0.1.$comment-body.0.3"><span data-reactid=".5j.1:4:1:$comment10153416763237760_10153416878867760:0.0.$right.0.$left.0.0.1.$comment-body.0.3.0"><span data-reactid=".5j.1:4:1:$comment10153416763237760_10153416878867760:0.0.$right.0.$left.0.0.1.$comment-body.0.3.0.$end:0:$text44:0">- wife should thank husband for buying flowers OUT LOUD</span></span></span></span></span></span><br />
<span data-reactid=".5j.1:4:1:$comment10153416763237760_10153416878867760:0.0.$right.0.$left.0.0.1"><span data-ft="{"tn":"K"}" data-reactid=".5j.1:4:1:$comment10153416763237760_10153416878867760:0.0.$right.0.$left.0.0.1.$comment-body"><span class="UFICommentBody _1n4g" data-reactid=".5j.1:4:1:$comment10153416763237760_10153416878867760:0.0.$right.0.$left.0.0.1.$comment-body.0"><span data-reactid=".5j.1:4:1:$comment10153416763237760_10153416878867760:0.0.$right.0.$left.0.0.1.$comment-body.0.3"><span data-reactid=".5j.1:4:1:$comment10153416763237760_10153416878867760:0.0.$right.0.$left.0.0.1.$comment-body.0.3.0"><span data-reactid=".5j.1:4:1:$comment10153416763237760_10153416878867760:0.0.$right.0.$left.0.0.1.$comment-body.0.3.0.$end:0:$text46:0">- Thanks to guests for coming AND thanks to your wife for making the shabbos</span></span></span></span></span></span></div>
</blockquote>
This section leads me to believe that it's assumed that men are <b>not</b> helping their wives out on Shabbos. Otherwise, why the need to suggest that they do? Is it because in many modern households there's a pretty even division of labor that may not necessarily exist in ultra-orthodox homes? <br />
In suggestion 2, Klatzko allegedly states "<span data-reactid=".5j.1:4:1:$comment10153416763237760_10153416878867760:0.0.$right.0.$left.0.0.1"><span data-ft="{"tn":"K"}" data-reactid=".5j.1:4:1:$comment10153416763237760_10153416878867760:0.0.$right.0.$left.0.0.1.$comment-body"><span class="UFICommentBody _1n4g" data-reactid=".5j.1:4:1:$comment10153416763237760_10153416878867760:0.0.$right.0.$left.0.0.1.$comment-body.0"><span data-reactid=".5j.1:4:1:$comment10153416763237760_10153416878867760:0.0.$right.0.$left.0.0.1.$comment-body.0.3"><span data-reactid=".5j.1:4:1:$comment10153416763237760_10153416878867760:0.0.$right.0.$left.0.0.1.$comment-body.0.3.0"><span data-reactid=".5j.1:4:1:$comment10153416763237760_10153416878867760:0.0.$right.0.$left.0.0.1.$comment-body.0.3.0.$end:0:$text30:0">Stay in your element- don't try too hard, be yourself- don't put on a show," so then why the need to stress that the "</span></span></span></span></span></span><span data-reactid=".5j.1:4:1:$comment10153416763237760_10153416878867760:0.0.$right.0.$left.0.0.1"><span data-ft="{"tn":"K"}" data-reactid=".5j.1:4:1:$comment10153416763237760_10153416878867760:0.0.$right.0.$left.0.0.1.$comment-body"><span class="UFICommentBody _1n4g" data-reactid=".5j.1:4:1:$comment10153416763237760_10153416878867760:0.0.$right.0.$left.0.0.1.$comment-body.0"><span data-reactid=".5j.1:4:1:$comment10153416763237760_10153416878867760:0.0.$right.0.$left.0.0.1.$comment-body.0.3"><span data-reactid=".5j.1:4:1:$comment10153416763237760_10153416878867760:0.0.$right.0.$left.0.0.1.$comment-body.0.3.0"><span data-reactid=".5j.1:4:1:$comment10153416763237760_10153416878867760:0.0.$right.0.$left.0.0.1.$comment-body.0.3.0.$end:0:$text44:0">wife should thank husband for buying flowers OUT LOUD" and that the husband should thank his wife for making Shabbos? Are these simple expressions of gratitude a foreign concept in these homes when impressionable <strike>kiruv projects</strike> guests aren't present?</span></span></span></span></span></span><br />
<blockquote class="tr_bq">
<div style="text-align: left;">
<span data-reactid=".5j.1:4:1:$comment10153416763237760_10153416878867760:0.0.$right.0.$left.0.0.1"><span data-ft="{"tn":"K"}" data-reactid=".5j.1:4:1:$comment10153416763237760_10153416878867760:0.0.$right.0.$left.0.0.1.$comment-body"><span class="UFICommentBody _1n4g" data-reactid=".5j.1:4:1:$comment10153416763237760_10153416878867760:0.0.$right.0.$left.0.0.1.$comment-body.0"><span data-reactid=".5j.1:4:1:$comment10153416763237760_10153416878867760:0.0.$right.0.$left.0.0.1.$comment-body.0.3"><span data-reactid=".5j.1:4:1:$comment10153416763237760_10153416878867760:0.0.$right.0.$left.0.0.1.$comment-body.0.3.0"></span></span></span></span></span><br data-reactid=".5j.1:4:1:$comment10153416763237760_10153416878867760:0.0.$right.0.$left.0.0.1.$comment-body.0.3.0.$end:0:$text49:0" />
<span data-reactid=".5j.1:4:1:$comment10153416763237760_10153416878867760:0.0.$right.0.$left.0.0.1"><span data-ft="{"tn":"K"}" data-reactid=".5j.1:4:1:$comment10153416763237760_10153416878867760:0.0.$right.0.$left.0.0.1.$comment-body"><span class="UFICommentBody _1n4g" data-reactid=".5j.1:4:1:$comment10153416763237760_10153416878867760:0.0.$right.0.$left.0.0.1.$comment-body.0"><span data-reactid=".5j.1:4:1:$comment10153416763237760_10153416878867760:0.0.$right.0.$left.0.0.1.$comment-body.0.3"><span data-reactid=".5j.1:4:1:$comment10153416763237760_10153416878867760:0.0.$right.0.$left.0.0.1.$comment-body.0.3.0"><span data-reactid=".5j.1:4:1:$comment10153416763237760_10153416878867760:0.0.$right.0.$left.0.0.1.$comment-body.0.3.0.$end:0:$text50:0">4- Everything you do on shabbos should be done with PURPOSE and JOY</span></span></span></span></span></span><br />
<span data-reactid=".5j.1:4:1:$comment10153416763237760_10153416878867760:0.0.$right.0.$left.0.0.1"><span data-ft="{"tn":"K"}" data-reactid=".5j.1:4:1:$comment10153416763237760_10153416878867760:0.0.$right.0.$left.0.0.1.$comment-body"><span class="UFICommentBody _1n4g" data-reactid=".5j.1:4:1:$comment10153416763237760_10153416878867760:0.0.$right.0.$left.0.0.1.$comment-body.0"><span data-reactid=".5j.1:4:1:$comment10153416763237760_10153416878867760:0.0.$right.0.$left.0.0.1.$comment-body.0.3"><span data-reactid=".5j.1:4:1:$comment10153416763237760_10153416878867760:0.0.$right.0.$left.0.0.1.$comment-body.0.3.0"><span data-reactid=".5j.1:4:1:$comment10153416763237760_10153416878867760:0.0.$right.0.$left.0.0.1.$comment-body.0.3.0.$end:0:$text52:0">sing with feeling, say kiddush with feeling; make them feel comfortable.</span></span></span></span></span></span> </div>
</blockquote>
Again, let me mention the point about not putting on a show. This sounds very much like a scripted production. <br />
<blockquote class="tr_bq">
<div style="text-align: left;">
<span data-reactid=".5j.1:4:1:$comment10153416763237760_10153416878867760:0.0.$right.0.$left.0.0.1"><span data-ft="{"tn":"K"}" data-reactid=".5j.1:4:1:$comment10153416763237760_10153416878867760:0.0.$right.0.$left.0.0.1.$comment-body"><span class="UFICommentBody _1n4g" data-reactid=".5j.1:4:1:$comment10153416763237760_10153416878867760:0.0.$right.0.$left.0.0.1.$comment-body.0"><span data-reactid=".5j.1:4:1:$comment10153416763237760_10153416878867760:0.0.$right.0.$left.0.0.1.$comment-body.0.3"><span data-reactid=".5j.1:4:1:$comment10153416763237760_10153416878867760:0.0.$right.0.$left.0.0.1.$comment-body.0.3.0"></span></span></span></span></span><br data-reactid=".5j.1:4:1:$comment10153416763237760_10153416878867760:0.0.$right.0.$left.0.0.1.$comment-body.0.3.0.$end:0:$text55:0" />
<span data-reactid=".5j.1:4:1:$comment10153416763237760_10153416878867760:0.0.$right.0.$left.0.0.1"><span data-ft="{"tn":"K"}" data-reactid=".5j.1:4:1:$comment10153416763237760_10153416878867760:0.0.$right.0.$left.0.0.1.$comment-body"><span class="UFICommentBody _1n4g" data-reactid=".5j.1:4:1:$comment10153416763237760_10153416878867760:0.0.$right.0.$left.0.0.1.$comment-body.0"><span data-reactid=".5j.1:4:1:$comment10153416763237760_10153416878867760:0.0.$right.0.$left.0.0.1.$comment-body.0.3"><span data-reactid=".5j.1:4:1:$comment10153416763237760_10153416878867760:0.0.$right.0.$left.0.0.1.$comment-body.0.3.0"><span data-reactid=".5j.1:4:1:$comment10153416763237760_10153416878867760:0.0.$right.0.$left.0.0.1.$comment-body.0.3.0.$end:0:$text56:0">5- Don't flinch if they do something against halacha. They are not chayav for aveiros-</span></span></span></span></span></span> [guilty of transgressing/breaking Jewish law]<span data-reactid=".5j.1:4:1:$comment10153416763237760_10153416878867760:0.0.$right.0.$left.0.0.1"><span data-ft="{"tn":"K"}" data-reactid=".5j.1:4:1:$comment10153416763237760_10153416878867760:0.0.$right.0.$left.0.0.1.$comment-body"><span class="UFICommentBody _1n4g" data-reactid=".5j.1:4:1:$comment10153416763237760_10153416878867760:0.0.$right.0.$left.0.0.1.$comment-body.0"><span data-reactid=".5j.1:4:1:$comment10153416763237760_10153416878867760:0.0.$right.0.$left.0.0.1.$comment-body.0.3"><span data-reactid=".5j.1:4:1:$comment10153416763237760_10153416878867760:0.0.$right.0.$left.0.0.1.$comment-body.0.3.0"><span data-reactid=".5j.1:4:1:$comment10153416763237760_10153416878867760:0.0.$right.0.$left.0.0.1.$comment-body.0.3.0.$end:0:$text58:0"> should they turn on a light, use cell phone, let it go</span></span></span></span></span></span><br />
<span data-reactid=".5j.1:4:1:$comment10153416763237760_10153416878867760:0.0.$right.0.$left.0.0.1"><span data-ft="{"tn":"K"}" data-reactid=".5j.1:4:1:$comment10153416763237760_10153416878867760:0.0.$right.0.$left.0.0.1.$comment-body"><span class="UFICommentBody _1n4g" data-reactid=".5j.1:4:1:$comment10153416763237760_10153416878867760:0.0.$right.0.$left.0.0.1.$comment-body.0"><span data-reactid=".5j.1:4:1:$comment10153416763237760_10153416878867760:0.0.$right.0.$left.0.0.1.$comment-body.0.3"><span data-reactid=".5j.1:4:1:$comment10153416763237760_10153416878867760:0.0.$right.0.$left.0.0.1.$comment-body.0.3.0"></span></span></span></span></span></div>
</blockquote>
I appreciate number five. However, I believe it should always be like this. Accept people for who they are without the need to deceive them (by avoiding topics that may be uncomfortable or emotional.) <br />
<blockquote class="tr_bq">
<div style="text-align: left;">
<span data-reactid=".5j.1:4:1:$comment10153416763237760_10153416878867760:0.0.$right.0.$left.0.0.1"><span data-ft="{"tn":"K"}" data-reactid=".5j.1:4:1:$comment10153416763237760_10153416878867760:0.0.$right.0.$left.0.0.1.$comment-body"><span class="UFICommentBody _1n4g" data-reactid=".5j.1:4:1:$comment10153416763237760_10153416878867760:0.0.$right.0.$left.0.0.1.$comment-body.0"><span data-reactid=".5j.1:4:1:$comment10153416763237760_10153416878867760:0.0.$right.0.$left.0.0.1.$comment-body.0.3"><span data-reactid=".5j.1:4:1:$comment10153416763237760_10153416878867760:0.0.$right.0.$left.0.0.1.$comment-body.0.3.0"><span data-reactid=".5j.1:4:1:$comment10153416763237760_10153416878867760:0.0.$right.0.$left.0.0.1.$comment-body.0.3.0.$end:0:$text62:0">6- Don't sing your usual zemiros [Shabbos songs]- they will tune out. Choose a popular Hebrew song,</span></span></span></span></span></span><br />
<span data-reactid=".5j.1:4:1:$comment10153416763237760_10153416878867760:0.0.$right.0.$left.0.0.1"><span data-ft="{"tn":"K"}" data-reactid=".5j.1:4:1:$comment10153416763237760_10153416878867760:0.0.$right.0.$left.0.0.1.$comment-body"><span class="UFICommentBody _1n4g" data-reactid=".5j.1:4:1:$comment10153416763237760_10153416878867760:0.0.$right.0.$left.0.0.1.$comment-body.0"><span data-reactid=".5j.1:4:1:$comment10153416763237760_10153416878867760:0.0.$right.0.$left.0.0.1.$comment-body.0.3"><span data-reactid=".5j.1:4:1:$comment10153416763237760_10153416878867760:0.0.$right.0.$left.0.0.1.$comment-body.0.3.0"><span data-reactid=".5j.1:4:1:$comment10153416763237760_10153416878867760:0.0.$right.0.$left.0.0.1.$comment-body.0.3.0.$end:0:$text64:0">eg. Oseh Shalom, Haveinu Shalom Aleichem, David Melech Yisroel,</span></span></span></span></span></span><br />
<span data-reactid=".5j.1:4:1:$comment10153416763237760_10153416878867760:0.0.$right.0.$left.0.0.1"><span data-ft="{"tn":"K"}" data-reactid=".5j.1:4:1:$comment10153416763237760_10153416878867760:0.0.$right.0.$left.0.0.1.$comment-body"><span class="UFICommentBody _1n4g" data-reactid=".5j.1:4:1:$comment10153416763237760_10153416878867760:0.0.$right.0.$left.0.0.1.$comment-body.0"><span data-reactid=".5j.1:4:1:$comment10153416763237760_10153416878867760:0.0.$right.0.$left.0.0.1.$comment-body.0.3"><span data-reactid=".5j.1:4:1:$comment10153416763237760_10153416878867760:0.0.$right.0.$left.0.0.1.$comment-body.0.3.0"><span data-reactid=".5j.1:4:1:$comment10153416763237760_10153416878867760:0.0.$right.0.$left.0.0.1.$comment-body.0.3.0.$end:0:$text66:0">Ushavtem Mayim Bsason, Moshiah Molshiah aya ya ya ya yae,</span></span></span></span></span></span><br />
<span data-reactid=".5j.1:4:1:$comment10153416763237760_10153416878867760:0.0.$right.0.$left.0.0.1"><span data-ft="{"tn":"K"}" data-reactid=".5j.1:4:1:$comment10153416763237760_10153416878867760:0.0.$right.0.$left.0.0.1.$comment-body"><span class="UFICommentBody _1n4g" data-reactid=".5j.1:4:1:$comment10153416763237760_10153416878867760:0.0.$right.0.$left.0.0.1.$comment-body.0"><span data-reactid=".5j.1:4:1:$comment10153416763237760_10153416878867760:0.0.$right.0.$left.0.0.1.$comment-body.0.3"><span data-reactid=".5j.1:4:1:$comment10153416763237760_10153416878867760:0.0.$right.0.$left.0.0.1.$comment-body.0.3.0"><span data-reactid=".5j.1:4:1:$comment10153416763237760_10153416878867760:0.0.$right.0.$left.0.0.1.$comment-body.0.3.0.$end:0:$text68:0">Lo yisah goi el goi cherev, Adon Olam, Hava Nageela, Hine ma Tov,</span></span></span></span></span></span><br />
<span data-reactid=".5j.1:4:1:$comment10153416763237760_10153416878867760:0.0.$right.0.$left.0.0.1"><span data-ft="{"tn":"K"}" data-reactid=".5j.1:4:1:$comment10153416763237760_10153416878867760:0.0.$right.0.$left.0.0.1.$comment-body"><span class="UFICommentBody _1n4g" data-reactid=".5j.1:4:1:$comment10153416763237760_10153416878867760:0.0.$right.0.$left.0.0.1.$comment-body.0"><span data-reactid=".5j.1:4:1:$comment10153416763237760_10153416878867760:0.0.$right.0.$left.0.0.1.$comment-body.0.3"><span data-reactid=".5j.1:4:1:$comment10153416763237760_10153416878867760:0.0.$right.0.$left.0.0.1.$comment-body.0.3.0"><span data-reactid=".5j.1:4:1:$comment10153416763237760_10153416878867760:0.0.$right.0.$left.0.0.1.$comment-body.0.3.0.$end:0:$text70:0">Siman tov umazel tov, Am yisrael Chai, Etz Chaim Hi....</span></span></span></span></span></span><br />
<span data-reactid=".5j.1:4:1:$comment10153416763237760_10153416878867760:0.0.$right.0.$left.0.0.1"><span data-ft="{"tn":"K"}" data-reactid=".5j.1:4:1:$comment10153416763237760_10153416878867760:0.0.$right.0.$left.0.0.1.$comment-body"><span class="UFICommentBody _1n4g" data-reactid=".5j.1:4:1:$comment10153416763237760_10153416878867760:0.0.$right.0.$left.0.0.1.$comment-body.0"><span data-reactid=".5j.1:4:1:$comment10153416763237760_10153416878867760:0.0.$right.0.$left.0.0.1.$comment-body.0.3"><span data-reactid=".5j.1:4:1:$comment10153416763237760_10153416878867760:0.0.$right.0.$left.0.0.1.$comment-body.0.3.0"><span data-reactid=".5j.1:4:1:$comment10153416763237760_10153416878867760:0.0.$right.0.$left.0.0.1.$comment-body.0.3.0.$end:0:$text72:0">OR: Teach them a new song without words, hum along.</span></span></span></span></span></span></div>
</blockquote>
Are the real zmiros really that bad? In all seriousness, this makes sense. Without accepting non-orthodox Jewish denominations, Klatzko allegedly accepts that guests may have familiarity with some of the songs and prayers. I wonder if women are allowed to sing or if women aren't informed until much later that their voices shouldn't be heard. <br />
<blockquote class="tr_bq">
<div style="text-align: left;">
<span data-reactid=".5j.1:4:1:$comment10153416763237760_10153416878867760:0.0.$right.0.$left.0.0.1"><span data-ft="{"tn":"K"}" data-reactid=".5j.1:4:1:$comment10153416763237760_10153416878867760:0.0.$right.0.$left.0.0.1.$comment-body"><span class="UFICommentBody _1n4g" data-reactid=".5j.1:4:1:$comment10153416763237760_10153416878867760:0.0.$right.0.$left.0.0.1.$comment-body.0"><span data-reactid=".5j.1:4:1:$comment10153416763237760_10153416878867760:0.0.$right.0.$left.0.0.1.$comment-body.0.3"><span data-reactid=".5j.1:4:1:$comment10153416763237760_10153416878867760:0.0.$right.0.$left.0.0.1.$comment-body.0.3.0"></span></span></span></span></span><br data-reactid=".5j.1:4:1:$comment10153416763237760_10153416878867760:0.0.$right.0.$left.0.0.1.$comment-body.0.3.0.$end:0:$text75:0" />
<span data-reactid=".5j.1:4:1:$comment10153416763237760_10153416878867760:0.0.$right.0.$left.0.0.1"><span data-ft="{"tn":"K"}" data-reactid=".5j.1:4:1:$comment10153416763237760_10153416878867760:0.0.$right.0.$left.0.0.1.$comment-body"><span class="UFICommentBody _1n4g" data-reactid=".5j.1:4:1:$comment10153416763237760_10153416878867760:0.0.$right.0.$left.0.0.1.$comment-body.0"><span data-reactid=".5j.1:4:1:$comment10153416763237760_10153416878867760:0.0.$right.0.$left.0.0.1.$comment-body.0.3"><span data-reactid=".5j.1:4:1:$comment10153416763237760_10153416878867760:0.0.$right.0.$left.0.0.1.$comment-body.0.3.0"><span data-reactid=".5j.1:4:1:$comment10153416763237760_10153416878867760:0.0.$right.0.$left.0.0.1.$comment-body.0.3.0.$end:0:$text76:0">7- Goal is that they should want to incorporate this experience - yahadus-into their lives:</span></span></span></span></span></span><br />
<span data-reactid=".5j.1:4:1:$comment10153416763237760_10153416878867760:0.0.$right.0.$left.0.0.1"><span data-ft="{"tn":"K"}" data-reactid=".5j.1:4:1:$comment10153416763237760_10153416878867760:0.0.$right.0.$left.0.0.1.$comment-body"><span class="UFICommentBody _1n4g" data-reactid=".5j.1:4:1:$comment10153416763237760_10153416878867760:0.0.$right.0.$left.0.0.1.$comment-body.0"><span data-reactid=".5j.1:4:1:$comment10153416763237760_10153416878867760:0.0.$right.0.$left.0.0.1.$comment-body.0.3"><span data-reactid=".5j.1:4:1:$comment10153416763237760_10153416878867760:0.0.$right.0.$left.0.0.1.$comment-body.0.3.0"><span data-reactid=".5j.1:4:1:$comment10153416763237760_10153416878867760:0.0.$right.0.$left.0.0.1.$comment-body.0.3.0.$end:0:$text78:0">People choose religion because of:</span></span></span></span></span></span><br />
<span data-reactid=".5j.1:4:1:$comment10153416763237760_10153416878867760:0.0.$right.0.$left.0.0.1"><span data-ft="{"tn":"K"}" data-reactid=".5j.1:4:1:$comment10153416763237760_10153416878867760:0.0.$right.0.$left.0.0.1.$comment-body"><span class="UFICommentBody _1n4g" data-reactid=".5j.1:4:1:$comment10153416763237760_10153416878867760:0.0.$right.0.$left.0.0.1.$comment-body.0"><span data-reactid=".5j.1:4:1:$comment10153416763237760_10153416878867760:0.0.$right.0.$left.0.0.1.$comment-body.0.3"><span data-reactid=".5j.1:4:1:$comment10153416763237760_10153416878867760:0.0.$right.0.$left.0.0.1.$comment-body.0.3.0"><span data-reactid=".5j.1:4:1:$comment10153416763237760_10153416878867760:0.0.$right.0.$left.0.0.1.$comment-body.0.3.0.$end:0:$text80:0">1- who our heroes are (Rev Moshe Feinstein, gedolim in Eretz Yisrael)</span></span></span></span></span></span></div>
<span data-reactid=".5j.1:4:1:$comment10153416763237760_10153416878867760:0.0.$right.0.$left.0.0.1"><span data-ft="{"tn":"K"}" data-reactid=".5j.1:4:1:$comment10153416763237760_10153416878867760:0.0.$right.0.$left.0.0.1.$comment-body"><span class="UFICommentBody _1n4g" data-reactid=".5j.1:4:1:$comment10153416763237760_10153416878867760:0.0.$right.0.$left.0.0.1.$comment-body.0"><span data-reactid=".5j.1:4:1:$comment10153416763237760_10153416878867760:0.0.$right.0.$left.0.0.1.$comment-body.0.3"><span data-reactid=".5j.1:4:1:$comment10153416763237760_10153416878867760:0.0.$right.0.$left.0.0.1.$comment-body.0.3.0"><span data-reactid=".5j.1:4:1:$comment10153416763237760_10153416878867760:0.0.$right.0.$left.0.0.1.$comment-body.0.3.0.$end:0:$text82:0">2- what is the ultimate vision of our religion for the world. Judaism- vision of peace</span></span></span></span></span></span><br />
<span data-reactid=".5j.1:4:1:$comment10153416763237760_10153416878867760:0.0.$right.0.$left.0.0.1"><span data-ft="{"tn":"K"}" data-reactid=".5j.1:4:1:$comment10153416763237760_10153416878867760:0.0.$right.0.$left.0.0.1.$comment-body"><span class="UFICommentBody _1n4g" data-reactid=".5j.1:4:1:$comment10153416763237760_10153416878867760:0.0.$right.0.$left.0.0.1.$comment-body.0"><span data-reactid=".5j.1:4:1:$comment10153416763237760_10153416878867760:0.0.$right.0.$left.0.0.1.$comment-body.0.3"><span data-reactid=".5j.1:4:1:$comment10153416763237760_10153416878867760:0.0.$right.0.$left.0.0.1.$comment-body.0.3.0"><span data-reactid=".5j.1:4:1:$comment10153416763237760_10153416878867760:0.0.$right.0.$left.0.0.1.$comment-body.0.3.0.$end:0:$text84:0">3- they look at the user experience- are people enjoying practicing their religion</span></span></span></span></span></span><br />
<span data-reactid=".5j.1:4:1:$comment10153416763237760_10153416878867760:0.0.$right.0.$left.0.0.1"><span data-ft="{"tn":"K"}" data-reactid=".5j.1:4:1:$comment10153416763237760_10153416878867760:0.0.$right.0.$left.0.0.1.$comment-body"><span class="UFICommentBody _1n4g" data-reactid=".5j.1:4:1:$comment10153416763237760_10153416878867760:0.0.$right.0.$left.0.0.1.$comment-body.0"><span data-reactid=".5j.1:4:1:$comment10153416763237760_10153416878867760:0.0.$right.0.$left.0.0.1.$comment-body.0.3"><span data-reactid=".5j.1:4:1:$comment10153416763237760_10153416878867760:0.0.$right.0.$left.0.0.1.$comment-body.0.3.0"><span data-reactid=".5j.1:4:1:$comment10153416763237760_10153416878867760:0.0.$right.0.$left.0.0.1.$comment-body.0.3.0.$end:0:$text86:0">4- do ideas translate into action- the proof is in the pudding- does it work?</span></span></span></span></span></span><br />
<span data-reactid=".5j.1:4:1:$comment10153416763237760_10153416878867760:0.0.$right.0.$left.0.0.1"><span data-ft="{"tn":"K"}" data-reactid=".5j.1:4:1:$comment10153416763237760_10153416878867760:0.0.$right.0.$left.0.0.1.$comment-body"><span class="UFICommentBody _1n4g" data-reactid=".5j.1:4:1:$comment10153416763237760_10153416878867760:0.0.$right.0.$left.0.0.1.$comment-body.0"><span data-reactid=".5j.1:4:1:$comment10153416763237760_10153416878867760:0.0.$right.0.$left.0.0.1.$comment-body.0.3"><span data-reactid=".5j.1:4:1:$comment10153416763237760_10153416878867760:0.0.$right.0.$left.0.0.1.$comment-body.0.3.0"><span data-reactid=".5j.1:4:1:$comment10153416763237760_10153416878867760:0.0.$right.0.$left.0.0.1.$comment-body.0.3.0.$end:0:$text88:0">5-
people are looking for truth- Judiasm is emes [truth.] If you don't know an
answer to their question, be honest- say you will find out. But only
give honest answers.</span></span></span></span></span></span></blockquote>
Last but not least, number seven. The second point tries to sell Judaism as a "vision of peace." I keep thinking of the Amalek--the group that Jews are commanded by the Torah to smite in every generation--and how anti-Zionists have made claims that Zionists are also the Amalek. I am also reminded of the <a href="http://www.vosizneias.com/6781/2007/01/02/brooklyn-ny-dueling-rabbis-struggle/">infighting</a> within <a href="https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=hLtXQKLBAYU">orthodoxy</a> and I really have to wonder.<br />
The list of suggestions mentions "user experience--are people enjoying practicing their religion?" The fact that just a few sentences ago, people were instructed that "<span data-reactid=".5j.1:4:1:$comment10153416763237760_10153416878867760:0.0.$right.0.$left.0.0.1"><span data-ft="{"tn":"K"}" data-reactid=".5j.1:4:1:$comment10153416763237760_10153416878867760:0.0.$right.0.$left.0.0.1.$comment-body"><span class="UFICommentBody _1n4g" data-reactid=".5j.1:4:1:$comment10153416763237760_10153416878867760:0.0.$right.0.$left.0.0.1.$comment-body.0"><span data-reactid=".5j.1:4:1:$comment10153416763237760_10153416878867760:0.0.$right.0.$left.0.0.1.$comment-body.0.3"><span data-reactid=".5j.1:4:1:$comment10153416763237760_10153416878867760:0.0.$right.0.$left.0.0.1.$comment-body.0.3.0"><span data-reactid=".5j.1:4:1:$comment10153416763237760_10153416878867760:0.0.$right.0.$left.0.0.1.$comment-body.0.3.0.$end:0:$text50:0">everything you do on shabbos should be done with PURPOSE and JOY</span></span></span></span></span></span><span data-reactid=".5j.1:4:1:$comment10153416763237760_10153416878867760:0.0.$right.0.$left.0.0.1"><span data-ft="{"tn":"K"}" data-reactid=".5j.1:4:1:$comment10153416763237760_10153416878867760:0.0.$right.0.$left.0.0.1.$comment-body"><span class="UFICommentBody _1n4g" data-reactid=".5j.1:4:1:$comment10153416763237760_10153416878867760:0.0.$right.0.$left.0.0.1.$comment-body.0"><span data-reactid=".5j.1:4:1:$comment10153416763237760_10153416878867760:0.0.$right.0.$left.0.0.1.$comment-body.0.3"><span data-reactid=".5j.1:4:1:$comment10153416763237760_10153416878867760:0.0.$right.0.$left.0.0.1.$comment-body.0.3.0"><span data-reactid=".5j.1:4:1:$comment10153416763237760_10153416878867760:0.0.$right.0.$left.0.0.1.$comment-body.0.3.0.$end:0:$text52:0">, sing with feeling, say kiddush with feeling" makes me think that perhaps people are <i>not</i> enjoying the practice, otherwise, why the need to remind them to be joyful? Usually, when people enjoy something, they don't need to be reminded to exhibit the joy. It comes naturally.<br /> The question is raised that "ideas translate into actions--the proof is in the pudding--does it work?" Does what work? What does this refer to? <br /> Finally, number five. Judaism is only truth to those who believe it is truth. I like the idea that honest answers should be given, however, that's after manipulating the conversation to avoid certain topics that Klatzko allegedly doesn't want you to talk about.<br /> Here's my question to kiruv professionals and ultra-orthodox hosts. Why not be honest in the beginning? Why not discuss the difficult topics? Is it that you're afraid of turning people off to Judaism? Or is it that you fear that you may discover certain truths that might taint your personal vision of ultra-orthodox Judaism?</span></span></span></span></span></span><br />
<span data-reactid=".5j.1:4:1:$comment10153416763237760_10153416878867760:0.0.$right.0.$left.0.0.1"><span data-ft="{"tn":"K"}" data-reactid=".5j.1:4:1:$comment10153416763237760_10153416878867760:0.0.$right.0.$left.0.0.1.$comment-body"><span class="UFICommentBody _1n4g" data-reactid=".5j.1:4:1:$comment10153416763237760_10153416878867760:0.0.$right.0.$left.0.0.1.$comment-body.0"><span data-reactid=".5j.1:4:1:$comment10153416763237760_10153416878867760:0.0.$right.0.$left.0.0.1.$comment-body.0.3"><span data-reactid=".5j.1:4:1:$comment10153416763237760_10153416878867760:0.0.$right.0.$left.0.0.1.$comment-body.0.3.0"><span data-reactid=".5j.1:4:1:$comment10153416763237760_10153416878867760:0.0.$right.0.$left.0.0.1.$comment-body.0.3.0.$end:0:$text88:0"><br /><span style="font-size: large;">UPDATE</span><br /> I was recently contacted twice by Rabbi Benzion Klatzko, once via Facebook and once as a comment on this blog. Since the comment thread is very long, I've chosen to<table cellpadding="0" cellspacing="0" class="tr-caption-container" style="float: right; margin-left: 1em; text-align: right;"><tbody>
<tr><td style="text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiehc-NavWbboniaSls_UljoXNDu3vG4D3LDan8-AhJ3L1mRuDnyIw1EjoZq3HNjIhnIMrqPBXBTVTeRR8fzCj9rJNYUwbUF8OTOCPi1heXyiX32ZHAGQ6Q-HgQ57uFutwCVZvdhcn7v2FR/s1600/Screen+Shot+2015-07-11+at+5.39.22+PM.png" imageanchor="1" style="clear: right; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><img border="0" height="640" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiehc-NavWbboniaSls_UljoXNDu3vG4D3LDan8-AhJ3L1mRuDnyIw1EjoZq3HNjIhnIMrqPBXBTVTeRR8fzCj9rJNYUwbUF8OTOCPi1heXyiX32ZHAGQ6Q-HgQ57uFutwCVZvdhcn7v2FR/s640/Screen+Shot+2015-07-11+at+5.39.22+PM.png" width="432" /></a></td></tr>
<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;">Comment from Rabbi Benzion Klatzko.<br />
Click to enlarge.</td></tr>
</tbody></table>
post the comment and my response within the body of this post.<br /> As those of you who have been reading this blog from its inception are aware, I believe very strongly in integrity. I stand behind my words and I won't write anything that I wouldn't say in person. Additionally, I cite my sources and post screen shots when available. <br /> In his response, Rabbi Klatzko states that "This was NOT an email sent to "kiruv people" [sic] This was a phone conference that someone eves [sic] dropped [sic] on and then "summarized" for the OTD [off the derech--people who've left orthodoxy] crowd on a different website." </span></span></span></span></span></span><br />
<span data-reactid=".5j.1:4:1:$comment10153416763237760_10153416878867760:0.0.$right.0.$left.0.0.1"><span data-ft="{"tn":"K"}" data-reactid=".5j.1:4:1:$comment10153416763237760_10153416878867760:0.0.$right.0.$left.0.0.1.$comment-body"><span class="UFICommentBody _1n4g" data-reactid=".5j.1:4:1:$comment10153416763237760_10153416878867760:0.0.$right.0.$left.0.0.1.$comment-body.0"><span data-reactid=".5j.1:4:1:$comment10153416763237760_10153416878867760:0.0.$right.0.$left.0.0.1.$comment-body.0.3"><span data-reactid=".5j.1:4:1:$comment10153416763237760_10153416878867760:0.0.$right.0.$left.0.0.1.$comment-body.0.3.0"><span data-reactid=".5j.1:4:1:$comment10153416763237760_10153416878867760:0.0.$right.0.$left.0.0.1.$comment-body.0.3.0.$end:0:$text88:0"> I admit to being curious as to why he might blame someone for disseminating this information to the OTD crowd, why he'd assume said person "eavesdropped," and what would motivate him to lay blame so casually. But then I moved on to the body of the comment. I want to express my gratitude to Rabbi Klatzko for taking some of his valuable time to write up a response to this post addressing words that he claims were written by an eavesdropper for the OTD community. Except that there's a problem here and it's not with Klatzko's explanation of his host suggestions. The problem is that I was recently sent the exact same "summary" in an email that came from the Far Rockaway, New York synagogue Agudah of Bayswater on October 23, 2014 at 9:40:18 AM EDT.<br /> Someone should inform Agudah of Bayswater that the information that was sent out by them was actually taken verbatim from an eavesdropper for the OTD community, based on Klatzko's comment. I don't know Rabbi Benzion Klatzko from a hole in the wall (although I'm guessing he's the one with legs) and so I'd like to give him the benefit of the doubt here. I can't imagine that Rabbi Klatzko, a rabbi and head of a huge kiruv organization, would <i>lie</i> in a comment on a public blog (in which he references a message he sent previously in his name) about this information. And yet, here are screen shots of emails received. <br /><table align="center" cellpadding="0" cellspacing="0" class="tr-caption-container" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto; text-align: center;"><tbody>
<tr><td style="text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjUVBOcQsKeVoKtbc54IVGgEnXPXAcVkxrGxZJBJAKK-xfnw9SMPzaHpyZ8UjuJFBJYL6zSp8Eijw4kr8GpqFApCm_98khwbnzm3-sI2_rrv_xF3Y5MyRkRT3XXdyEMhzr5TEAqb8ECBuJb/s1600/screen+shot+rabbi+email1.png" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><img border="0" height="316" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjUVBOcQsKeVoKtbc54IVGgEnXPXAcVkxrGxZJBJAKK-xfnw9SMPzaHpyZ8UjuJFBJYL6zSp8Eijw4kr8GpqFApCm_98khwbnzm3-sI2_rrv_xF3Y5MyRkRT3XXdyEMhzr5TEAqb8ECBuJb/s400/screen+shot+rabbi+email1.png" width="400" /></a></td></tr>
<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;">Click to enlarge.</td></tr>
</tbody></table>
</span></span></span></span></span></span><br />
<br />
<table align="center" cellpadding="0" cellspacing="0" class="tr-caption-container" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto; text-align: center;"><tbody>
<tr><td style="text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEg-hLVSVjB0xpGnFU03VXeEJHfRCTuENX-BLthKlGoDcQEr-tpc4vkL4EBkUIxP7YcRGGZxSU8mqs34bLmfYopqs2HBd1LhfLFbPcwBIq5dB-XxnbllPGHzhyofO4v1pZodTZc1biY2UCvX/s1600/screen+shot+rabbi+email2.png" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><img border="0" height="312" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEg-hLVSVjB0xpGnFU03VXeEJHfRCTuENX-BLthKlGoDcQEr-tpc4vkL4EBkUIxP7YcRGGZxSU8mqs34bLmfYopqs2HBd1LhfLFbPcwBIq5dB-XxnbllPGHzhyofO4v1pZodTZc1biY2UCvX/s400/screen+shot+rabbi+email2.png" width="400" /></a></td></tr>
<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;">Click to enlarge.</td></tr>
</tbody></table>
<span data-reactid=".5j.1:4:1:$comment10153416763237760_10153416878867760:0.0.$right.0.$left.0.0.1"><span data-ft="{"tn":"K"}" data-reactid=".5j.1:4:1:$comment10153416763237760_10153416878867760:0.0.$right.0.$left.0.0.1.$comment-body"><span class="UFICommentBody _1n4g" data-reactid=".5j.1:4:1:$comment10153416763237760_10153416878867760:0.0.$right.0.$left.0.0.1.$comment-body.0"><span data-reactid=".5j.1:4:1:$comment10153416763237760_10153416878867760:0.0.$right.0.$left.0.0.1.$comment-body.0.3"><span data-reactid=".5j.1:4:1:$comment10153416763237760_10153416878867760:0.0.$right.0.$left.0.0.1.$comment-body.0.3.0"><span data-reactid=".5j.1:4:1:$comment10153416763237760_10153416878867760:0.0.$right.0.$left.0.0.1.$comment-body.0.3.0.$end:0:$text88:0"><br /></span></span></span></span></span></span>bechttp://www.blogger.com/profile/16146699715760197131noreply@blogger.com83tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3965506036256262699.post-55195641567052972242015-04-20T10:59:00.001-04:002015-04-20T10:59:32.057-04:00Orthodox Kiruv, Rape Culture, and an Unrelated Interview with the Blogger <span style="font-size: x-large;"><b> I</b></span>'d like to extend a warm thank you to all of the readers who have messaged me with their stories, their questions, and their comments about this blog. Over the past months, I've been ridiculously busy with many other projects. I was also touched to receive a request for an interview for the <a href="https://otdstories.wordpress.com/2015/04/19/the-story-of-rebecca-m-ross/">OTD Stories project</a>, started by a good friend of mine. In this interview, I discuss my journeys both on and off the derech (path of orthodox Judaism,) as well as a bit about my current projects. I figured I'd share that here, in case you're interested. While you're there, take a look around. It's a really great site, and totally worth your time.<br />
<br />
I'd also like you point you over to this article, <span style="font-size: small;"><span style="font-weight: normal;"><a href="http://www.chicagonow.com/gender-politics-parenting/2015/04/the-grey-area-of-rape-culture-in-the-black-and-white-world-of-jewish-orthodoxy-by-esther-tova-stanley/"><b>The Grey Area of Rape Culture in the Black and White World of Jewish Orthodoxy</b> by Esther Tova Stanley</a>, in which Ms. Stanley discusses how young women targeted by kiruv professionals are often put in very compromising positions in a relationship with rabbis who are seen as trusted authority figures. She states: </span></span><br />
<blockquote class="tr_bq">
You see, there’s an odd relationship between male authority figures
(“Rabbis”) and female students that is considered “normal” within the
post high-school year abroad programs. It not only accepts, but actively
encourages a relationship in which an adult male takes young female
students under his wing in the name of “<a href="http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Orthodox_Judaism_outreach">kiruv</a>” (loosely translated to bringing someone closer to G-d.) <i>[sic]</i> </blockquote>
<blockquote class="tr_bq">
<br />
The Rabbis do this by cultivating a false sense of trust, telling the
young students that they see something special in them, encouraging
them to share details of their personal lives and sometimes offering
(inappropriate) personal details of their own. As my seminary Rabbi once
said to me in reference to “his girls” and his method of kiruv, <i>“I like to break them and then make them.”</i> This creepy comment was followed by an even creepier wink. (Lucky for me, I left that school almost as fast as I got there.) </blockquote>
<blockquote class="tr_bq">
The idea is for this relationship to inspire the student, spiritually.
To see that living an ultra-orthodox life is the only REAL way to truly
LIVE. Those Rabbis who engage in it are seen as possessing a gift, are
considered selfless for giving up so much of their time to educate and
uplift young, easily influenced souls and bring them onto the path of
observance. It’s considered a <a href="http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Mitzvah">mitzvah</a> (a good deed.)<span style="font-size: xx-small;">1</span></blockquote>
Most campus kiruv organizations push students to go on extended trips to Israel, many of which include time spent learning in yeshivas or seminaries, depending on one's gender. In addition to being away from home and healthy doses of skepticism, students are encouraged to spend time with rabbis, who often take on the role of spiritual advisers. This puts students in a position of heightened vulnerability, a position they may not even realize they're in at the time.<br /> I strongly suggest reading the article in full for a good understanding of how there really can be a grey area between trusted rabbi and sexual predator, and how the boundaries of appropriateness can easily be both obscured and crossed in the male-rabbi female-student relationship. <br />
<br />
<br /><span style="font-size: x-small;"><span style="font-weight: normal;">1. Stanley, Esther Tova.<b> The Grey Area of Rape Culture in the Black and White World of Jewish Orthodoxy. </b></span></span><span style="font-size: small;"><span style="font-weight: normal;"><span style="font-size: x-small;">qtd. on Not for Ourselves Alone: Gender Politics and Parenting in the 21st Century blog by Juliet C. Bond. April 20, 2015. 6:58am.</span></span></span><br />
<br />
<blockquote class="tr_bq">
<br /></blockquote>
bechttp://www.blogger.com/profile/16146699715760197131noreply@blogger.com4tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3965506036256262699.post-35770449412416988122014-10-29T00:07:00.000-04:002014-10-29T00:09:32.831-04:00Show Me the Money<h1 id="headline" style="text-align: left;">
<span style="font-size: small;"><span style="font-weight: normal;"><span style="font-size: x-large;"><b> T</b></span>he talk around town has been about the scandal surrounding <a href="http://www.haaretz.com/blogs/routine-emergencies/.premium-1.622952">Rabbi Barry Freundel</a>'s alleged videotaping of women at the mikvah during the process of orthodox conversion to Judaism. Forward writer Uriel Heilman covered this story from an interesting perspective--from that of those who have been waiting for conversion and how this affects them. The reason I bring this up is because of something very interesting I found within the body of <a href="http://forward.com/articles/208062/after-freundel-scandal-converts-in-waiting-complai/#ixzz3HUzO7tCE">Heilman's article</a>.<br /> After a discussion about how long the conversion process generally takes (approximately two years, but seems to be unclear, with rabbis judging each case individually,) Heilman mentions that:</span></span></h1>
<blockquote class="tr_bq">
<span style="font-size: small;"><span style="font-weight: normal;">Converts are expected to pay about $400 in fees, but the beit din
sometimes will waive costs based on financial need and on occasion has
played a proactive role in helping converts get tuition discounts at
Jewish day schools.
</span></span></blockquote>
<blockquote>
That can be a dangerous proposition, however, [Rabbi Zvi Romm, the administrator of the RCA’s New York beit din for conversion] says, because the beit din wants to be confident that the convert will
be able to afford the higher costs associated with an Orthodox
lifestyle: kosher food, Jewish education, housing in an Orthodox
neighborhood.<br />
“One of the considerations we make is, can the person
hack it financially?” Romm said. “If a person says I have no money
whatsoever, I can’t afford the $400 fee paid out over time, the question
you have to ask is, how are you going to make it as an Orthodox Jew?”<span style="font-size: x-small;">1</span></blockquote>
<div style="background-color: white; border: medium none; color: black; overflow: hidden; text-align: left; text-decoration: none;">
I was surprised to find that a person's ability or inability to afford an orthodox lifestyle weighs heavily enough to be mentioned prominently in an article about the conversion process. This raises several questions in my mind.</div>
<div style="background-color: white; border: medium none; color: black; overflow: hidden; text-align: left; text-decoration: none;">
Why are potential <i>baal teshuvahs</i>/BTs not made aware of the huge expenses of an orthodox lifestyle? Where is the concern from <i>kiruv</i> (outreach) rabbis that young college students being urged to take time off from university to attend yeshiva programs might not be able to "hack it financially" down the line? What is honest about the deliberate withholding of information regarding what to expect after the honeymoon phase of orthodoxy wears off? Do campus kiruv rabbis assess prospective recruits by their current and potential financial worth?<br />
Both <i>kiruv</i> rabbis and conversion rabbis are in a position of trust and power. Abusing that power by withholding information, abusing that trust, and violating what really should be a professional relationship as that of a teacher and student, is an abuse of their power. All potential recruits to orthodox Judaism--whether converts or BTs--deserve basic respect, as well as freedom from deceptive practices.</div>
<h1 id="headline">
<span style="font-size: small;"><span style="font-weight: normal;"><span style="font-size: x-small;">Heilman, Uriel. <a href="http://forward.com/articles/208062/after-freundel-scandal-converts-in-waiting-complai/#ixzz3HUzO7tCE">After Freundel Scandal, Converts in Waiting Complain of Unexpected Obstacles.</a> The Jewish Daily Forward. October 28, 2014.</span></span></span></h1>
<div style="background-color: white; border: medium none; color: black; overflow: hidden; text-align: left; text-decoration: none;">
<br /></div>
<br />bechttp://www.blogger.com/profile/16146699715760197131noreply@blogger.com19tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3965506036256262699.post-49421955793626571812014-10-22T14:38:00.000-04:002014-10-22T14:40:49.319-04:00Why the Shabbos Project is Dividing Us: A Guest Post by Suzanne Oshinsky and Shloimie Ehrenfeld<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin-bottom: 0.0001pt;">
<span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 12pt;"><span style="font-size: x-large;"><b> O</b></span>n October
24-25, 2014, the creators of the brand new, worldwide “Shabbos Project” and the
tens of thousands of its supporters on Facebook and other social media are encouraging
all the world’s 14 million or so Jews to celebrate the Sabbath together. Those
reading this for the first time are likely struck by the same question that
struck us when we first learned of this project: “Hasn’t </span><a href="http://njop.org/partners/programs/shabbat-across-america-and-canada/" target="_blank"><span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 12pt;">Shabbat Across America</span></a><span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 12pt;"> (and other countries) been around for
many years already? What’s new about
this project?” Further adding to our
puzzlement was seeing that the National Jewish Outreach Program (NJOP), the
creators of Shabbat Across America, apparently </span><a href="http://archive.constantcontact.com/fs127/1101485400913/archive/1115997374864.html" target="_blank"><span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 12pt;">helped facilitate</span></a><span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 12pt;"> the creation of the Shabbos Project. Why would anyone want to mess with the
already-successful Shabbat Across America initiative, which appeals to all Jews
who are interested in enjoying Shabbat in whatever way they choose?</span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin-bottom: 0.0001pt;">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin-bottom: 0.0001pt;">
<span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 12pt;"> When we looked at
the Shabbos Project’s </span><a href="http://www.theshabbosproject.org/" target="_blank"><span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 12pt;">website</span></a><span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 12pt;">, however, the difference became clear:
While Shabbat Across America has succeeded in encouraging Jews to celebrate
Shabbat together in their synagogues or temples or in whatever environment, in
whatever way suits their <i>derech </i>(way), the mission of the Shabbos Project
is to get all Jews to celebrate in a very specific way – the Orthodox way, the
way of the project’s founders. The
detailed instructions on “</span><a href="http://www.theshabbosproject.org/unofficial-guide/" target="_blank"><span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 12pt;">How to Keep It</span></a><span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 12pt;">” involve heating food in crockpots and
on hot plates, putting electric lights on timers, substituting tissues for
toilet paper, buying liquid toothpaste and liquid lip gloss, and even picture
Artscroll books in the section suggesting what to do during the 25 hour period
of Shabbos.</span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin-bottom: 0.0001pt;">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin-bottom: 0.0001pt;">
<span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 12pt;"> What we find
troubling is not that Orthodox rabbis would encourage other Jews to explore
what observing Shabbat according to Orthodox Jewish law is really like. No doubt many people would find keeping a
Shabbat the Orthodox way a very rewarding experience. What is truly disturbing is that this
sectarian form of Sabbath observance is being presented as if this is the way
the Sabbath always has and continues to be celebrated. As the homepage declares:</span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin-bottom: 0.0001pt;">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin-bottom: 0.0001pt;">
<span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 12pt;"> “We will keep
it in its entirety, in all of its halachic detail and splendour as it has been
kept throughout the ages.”</span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin-bottom: 0.0001pt;">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin-bottom: 0.0001pt;">
<span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 12pt;"> “Its rhythm
will unite us with each other, with Jews around the world and throughout the
ages.”</span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin-bottom: 0.0001pt;">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 12pt; line-height: 115%;"> One can easily notice, however, that most of
the examples of how to keep Shabbat that the Shabbos Project lists on its site
have <i>not </i>been kept “throughout the ages.” Our sages in the Talmud did not use slow
cookers to make their cholent or a hot plate to keep their food warm, nor did
they use timers for their electric lights.
They did not cut toilet paper or buy tissues, nor did they brush their
teeth with liquid toothpaste or apply liquid lip gloss. They did not serve tea at Shabbat lunch with
their percolators, nor did they program their thermostats to maintain heat in
their homes. The “</span><a href="http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Shabbat_lamp" target="_blank"><span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 12pt; line-height: 115%;">Shabbos
lamp</span></a><span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 12pt; line-height: 115%;">” did not even exist 15 or 20 years ago. The site states, “It’s a nice custom to bring
home flowers or chocolates,” but, while it may be nice, calling this practice a
“custom,” as if there is some history behind it, seems unfounded. </span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br />
<span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 12pt; line-height: 115%;"></span><span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 12pt; line-height: 115%;"></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 12pt; line-height: 115%;"> From the food to the home
environment to the prayers, examples abound of practices that did not exist in
earlier times. The site discusses the
Shabbat prayers and highlights Kabbalat Shabbat; however, Kabbalat Shabbat as a
separate prayer service with the Lecha Dodi poem as its centerpiece did not
even exist before the 16<sup>th</sup> century.
Indeed a typical Orthodox Shabbat in 2014 is so different from a typical
Shabbat in centuries past that a Talmudic sage would probably find today’s
Orthodox Shabbat unrecognizable.
Ironically the Shabbos Project website cites the following Talmudic
passage, which only further demonstrates how different their Shabbat experience
was from ours:</span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 12pt; line-height: 115%;"><br /></span></div>
<blockquote class="tr_bq">
<div class="MsoNormal" style="margin: 0in 0.3in 10pt; text-align: justify;">
<span style="color: #0f243e; font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 12pt; line-height: 115%;">Rabbi Abahu would sit on a stool of
ivory and fan the fire [used to cook for the Sabbath]. Rav Anan would put on a black smock [on
Fridays to demonstrate that this was not a day for keeping clean and neat but
rather for cooking food for the Sabbath]. Rav Safra would singe the head [of the animal
being prepared for the Sabbath meal]. Rava
would salt the shibbuta [fish for the Sabbath meal]. Rav Huna would light [oil] lamps [for the
Sabbath]. Rav Pappa would twine the
wicks [for the lamps]. Rav Chisda would
mince the beets. Rabbah and Rav Yosef
would split wood. Rabbi Zeira would
kindle [the fire] (Talmud Shabbos 119a).”</span></div>
</blockquote>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 12pt; line-height: 115%;"> Our sages never called the Sabbath “Shabbos,”
because the last letter in the Hebrew alphabet was not originally pronounced
like an “s.” (It was most likely pronounced
like the “th” in the word Sabbath.) But
since the purpose of the Shabbos Project is apparently to get people to observe
Shabbat in the style the project’s creators observe it, calling it Shabbos,
which is how most Orthodox Jews call it today, rather than Shabbat, as most
non-Orthodox Jews call it today, as Shabbat Across America chose to do, is
consistent with the project’s apparent mission.</span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 12pt; line-height: 115%;"><br /></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 12pt; line-height: 115%;"> Unlike Shabbat Across America, this
project epitomizes the mindset that there is only one derech in Judaism. Therefore, there’s only one way to observe
the Sabbath. According to this
worldview, Shabbat Across America isn’t good enough, because it gives Jews the
impression that they could celebrate the Sabbath in the way that suits each
person’s own derech. Why else would
there be any reason for such a “new” initiative?</span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 12pt; line-height: 115%;"><br /></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 12pt; line-height: 115%;"> We believe that those seeking to
unite Jews around the Sabbath should create Shabbat programs that really do
unite Jews, rather than tell them “Do it my way, because it’s the only way.”</span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 12pt; line-height: 115%;"><br /></span></div>
<i><span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 12pt; line-height: 115%;">Suzanne
Oshinsky and Shloimie Ehrenfeld are involved in <a href="http://offthederech.org/" target="_blank">offthederech.org</a> a website to
be launched later this fall that will provide resources and support for Jews
who are exploring a lifestyle that is different from that of their
upbringing. Shloimie can be reached at
freethinkingjew at gmail.</span></i>bechttp://www.blogger.com/profile/16146699715760197131noreply@blogger.com12tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3965506036256262699.post-75290860064648343182014-10-03T17:15:00.001-04:002014-10-03T23:20:03.360-04:00An Open Letter to Paula Abdul About The Shabbos Project<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
<iframe allowfullscreen='allowfullscreen' webkitallowfullscreen='webkitallowfullscreen' mozallowfullscreen='mozallowfullscreen' width='320' height='266' src='https://www.youtube.com/embed/Q5PpWG4offU?feature=player_embedded' frameborder='0'></iframe></div>
<span style="font-size: x-large;"><b><br />A</b><span style="font-size: small;">n open letter to</span></span> Paula Abdul:<br />
I used to listen to your music when I was a kid (my friends and I used to belt out "Straight Up" when we were in Junior High School in Brooklyn.) I never knew you were Jewish until I received an email from Aish HaTorah's Project Inspire about the importance of The Shabbos Project. With all due respect, I was quite taken aback to see you promoting this project that was introduced to you by Rabbi Warren Goldstein, the chief rabbi of South Africa. Let me explain why.<br />
On July 22, 2007, Failed Messiah printed this: <br />
<br />
<blockquote class="tr_bq">
<div style="text-align: justify;">
It should be noted that South Africa's chief rabbi ... is <a href="http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Warren_Goldstein">Warren Goldstein</a>, a 34 year old kiruv (outreach; missionary) rabbi who formerly worked for Ohr Somayach.</div>
<div style="text-align: justify;">
Rabbi Goldstein's doctoral thesis is an apologia
of Jewish law attempting to make it seem advanced and modern compared
to western law. To this end Rabbi Goldstein extols Jewish law's
treatment of women, apparently never mentioning the very real problems
of agunot, for example.</div>
</blockquote>
<blockquote>
This type of dishonesty is central to kiruv theology.<span style="font-size: x-small;">1</span></blockquote>
<br />
<table cellpadding="0" cellspacing="0" class="tr-caption-container" style="float: right; margin-left: 1em; text-align: right;"><tbody>
<tr><td style="text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEg50Nyf-u55xPDZaMDvm6cXYAIYQro9OH9I9l0kSuS4qucYhjtIcFNKb4jTHT0EjkvSL1cvGwQQjb-Uod-Ap3c2r5QIltsyt3Q2MP9sZcdsTYdqq2ymveLUbMPAaVPqon3ZMpyDlY0Bmkr1/s1600/Screen+Shot+2014-10-03+at+4.42.43+PM.png" imageanchor="1" style="clear: right; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><img border="0" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEg50Nyf-u55xPDZaMDvm6cXYAIYQro9OH9I9l0kSuS4qucYhjtIcFNKb4jTHT0EjkvSL1cvGwQQjb-Uod-Ap3c2r5QIltsyt3Q2MP9sZcdsTYdqq2ymveLUbMPAaVPqon3ZMpyDlY0Bmkr1/s1600/Screen+Shot+2014-10-03+at+4.42.43+PM.png" height="400" width="310" /></a></td></tr>
<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;">Click image to enlarge.</td></tr>
</tbody></table>
The fact that Rabbi Warren Goldstein is a kiruv (outreach) rabbi is very troubling. He contacted you, Ms. Abdul, and gave you a script to read, thus using you--a celebrity--in order to do kiruv for Project Inspire--a well-known kiruv organization. I'm sure he was very nice and persuasive, even when he had you discuss how much you enjoy keeping Shabbos. What you may not know is that The Shabbos Project is being sponsored by a Jewish missionary group.<br />
Project Inspire is an Aish HaTorah affiliate whose stated goal is to make people orthodox. On January 3, 2014, I wrote about this practice <a href="http://stopkiruvnow.blogspot.com/2014/01/kiruvs-goal-to-make-you-orthodox-aishs.html" target="_blank">here</a>,
citing sources from Aish HaTorah (Project Inspire's parent organization) that clearly explain the goal of
kiruv (outreach.) Now, of course, by having you advocate for the Shabbos Project,
you're not actively making people orthodox, but you're misleading people. Kind of like
how Rabbi Goldstein is misleading people, including you, when he uses you to represent
this initiative.<br />
If you look at the flier I've posted, you'll see that Project Inspire wants attendees to "invite [their] less-affiliated friend, relative, neighbor [sic] or business associate for Shabbos." Ms. Abdul, unless you are ultra-orthodox, your observance and practice of Judaism has just been insulted by the very organization you are representing. This is not the first time that language insulting non-orthodox Jews has been used by Project Inspire. I've written about it <a href="http://stopkiruvnow.blogspot.com/2013/04/discount-sale-on-orthodox-judaism.html">here</a>, <a href="http://stopkiruvnow.blogspot.com/2013/09/project-inspires-yom-kippur-make-them.html" target="_blank">here</a> and <a href="http://stopkiruvnow.blogspot.com/2013/08/how-about-easy-gift-of-respect.html">here.</a> By agreeing to give Project Inspire publicity through the use of your words and likeness, you are inadvertently supporting a group that is looking to make people orthodox, a group whose own adherents would frown on your career, your cheerleading, your dancing and singing in public, and who would <i>never </i>want their children to grow up to emulate you. In fact, non-orthodox Jews who get involved with Aish HaTorah and Project Inspire, are ultimately taught to reject this non-orthodox lifestyle, as well, and are re-educated to believe that these very activities are somehow wrong, if not done according to their interpretation of Jewish law. You probably didn't know this at the time, but you've unwittingly represented people
who not only share this belief, but who are looking to push that belief
and others on who have little or no experience with ultra-orthodox
teachings. <br />
As a bit of background, ultra-orthodox kiruv is something that is done mostly by a few key groups who are generally Ashkenazi Jews, hailing from Ashkenazi-style yeshivas, sects, groups, and/or organizations. Aish HaTorah is an example of one of these yeshivas. Their goal is specifically to influence secular Jews to become orthodox, and to create rabbis who will help them to further that goal. These kiruv organizations often use deceptive tactics (such as love bombing, peer pressure, and bait-and-switch styled programming) in order to bring young people into the realm of orthodoxy. By using you, Ms. Abdul, it makes young people think "wow, if a celebrity is endorsing this, it must be legitimate!" But the problem is that this endorsement is deceptive. <br />
While it may be too late to back out of your endorsement of The Shabbos Project due to possible contractual agreements, I hope that you'll consider this information and research these organizations before agreeing to represent them in the future.<br />
<br />
Thank you for your time and consideration of this issue.<br />
<br />
Respectfully Yours,<br />
<br />
Rebecca M. Ross<br />
<br />
<br />
<br />
<span style="font-size: x-small;">1. Failed Messiah. <a href="http://failedmessiah.typepad.com/failed_messiahcom/2007/07/ohr-somayach-ra.html" target="_blank">Ohr Somayach Rabbi Banned From South Africa, Having Affairs With Many Women</a>. July 22, 2007.</span><br />
<br />
<span style="font-size: x-small;"><span style="font-weight: normal;"></span></span><br />bechttp://www.blogger.com/profile/16146699715760197131noreply@blogger.com42tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3965506036256262699.post-86731109783924870542014-09-17T20:59:00.003-04:002014-09-18T09:30:08.511-04:00Meor At U. Penn Removes Stipend After Parent Pressure <span style="font-size: x-large;"><b>B</b></span>ack in August of 2013, I put up a post about Meor's practice of offering stipends to students in order to entice them to get involved in their programming. You can find the original article, "<a href="http://stopkiruvnow.blogspot.com/2013/08/shedding-light-on-meor.html" target="_blank">Shedding Light On Meor</a>," by clicking the title. That post garnered many passionate responses from both sides of the discussion. Today, an anonymous reader sent me links to The Daily Pennsylvanian, the University of Pennsylvania's independent student news organization, and to The Jewish Daily Forward, both of which covered the most recent developments regarding the University of Pennsylvania's decision to no longer allow Meor to offer a stipend to students. You should definitely read "<a href="http://www.thedp.com/article/2014/09/meor-cancels-stipend-for-maimonides-leaders-fellowship" target="_blank">Jewish Group Stops Student Stipends After Parent Complains</a>" and "<a href="http://forward.com/articles/205744/university-of-pennsylvania-jewish-group-kills-/#ixzz3Dcj0RSFa" target="_blank">University of Pennsylvania Jewish Group Kills $400 Stipend</a>."<br />
Hopefully, parents of college students will continue to research religious programs and the tactics they use to lure students into their classrooms, and continue to speak out about practices that seem questionable and/or unethical. College students are often impressionable and idealistic, and the college campus is a great place to put that idealism to practice. College should not be a place where students are targeted by well-funded <i>kiruv</i> organizations looking to recruit new members.bechttp://www.blogger.com/profile/16146699715760197131noreply@blogger.com2tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3965506036256262699.post-20422850097484037222014-07-14T21:10:00.001-04:002014-07-14T21:11:14.042-04:00Recommended Reading: Rabbis and their female followers – how close is too close? Sharon Shapiro posted a very interesting post on her blog <a href="http://kolbishaerva.wordpress.com/" target="_blank">Kol B'Isha Erva</a> today, and I wanted to take a quick break from my hiatus (I'm working on several projects which have had to take the front seat these past few months) in order to mention her article. She writes about kiruv (outreach) rabbis crossing lines that are better left uncrossed, and often taking on the role of parent in the student/rabbi relationship. This isn't the first I've heard of this, but it is interesting to see it from the perspective of a woman who happens to have gone from non-orthodox Judaism to orthodox Judaism during her college days. <br />
She writes in <a href="http://kolbishaerva.wordpress.com/2014/07/14/rabbis-and-their-female-followers-how-close-is-too-close/" target="_blank">Rabbis and their Female Followers--How close is too close?</a> that she "was shocked at how quickly this rabbi took over a parental role among [her classmates], almost acting in conspiracy against the biological parental
protests. The girls were encouraged to keep certain secrets from their
parents, in some cases in order not to cause hurt or machlokes
(argument)."1 A close friend of mine told a similar story--her own child had begun to explore Judaism in college, causing a fast transformation to orthodoxy coupled with secrecy during the process. These scenarios do exist, no matter how much kiruv rabbis try to convince people that they don't. When people start speaking up, maybe these tactics will change, and perhaps those interested in doing Jewish outreach will begin to act more responsibly towards their students, the families of their students, and to the Jewish community as a whole. Please read <a href="http://kolbishaerva.wordpress.com/2014/07/14/rabbis-and-their-female-followers-how-close-is-too-close/" target="_blank">Rabbis and their Female Followers</a>. It's definitely worth the read. <br />
<span style="font-size: x-small;"><br /></span>
<span style="font-size: x-small;">1. Shapiro, Sharon. Rabbis and their Female Followers--How Close is Too Close?. Kol B'Isha Erva. 14 July 2014.</span>bechttp://www.blogger.com/profile/16146699715760197131noreply@blogger.com3tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3965506036256262699.post-19529428525471391452014-03-03T23:56:00.000-05:002014-03-04T07:26:32.210-05:00Kiruv in Israel: 10,000 Families to be Targeted by Outreach Professionals <a href="http://www.haaretz.com/jewish-world/jewish-world-news/.premium-1.577726" target="_blank">Haaretz</a> reports that the Jewish Identity Administration, created by the Religious Services Ministry, will be putting together four kiruv/outreach programs aimed to attract secular Israelis to religious observance. These programs will be run by Ohr Torah Stone, Rabbi Shlomo Riskin’s conglomerate of educational institutions, according to Haaretz.
<br />
<blockquote class="tr_bq">
The four projects include appointing community-based “Judaism
coordinators” to organize “activities in the field of Jewish identity”; a
project to “deepen Jewish identity” among university students; one to
arrange meetings between religious and secular families; and one to
“increase synagogues’ influence on the community.”
<br />
The
Judaism coordinators will be members of the communities they serve, so
they can “foment the process from within” and not be seen as outsiders,
the ministry decided.<span style="font-size: x-small;">1</span>
</blockquote>
<br />
Laga’at Baruach, an outreach/kiruv organization in Israel meant specifically to target college students, will be "setting up study centers around [Israel.] In
exchange for studying at one of these centers for 4.5 hours a week,
students will get an annual stipend of 4,000 shekels. The goal is to
recruit 800 students initially, all people with “proven abilities for
the State of Israel and Israeli society.”"<span style="font-size: x-small;">2</span> Like American ultra-orthodox kiruv programs, students are offered monetary compensation for the time they spend studying orthodox teachings taught by outreach professionals. This sounds remarkably similar to <a href="http://stopkiruvnow.blogspot.com/2013/08/shedding-light-on-meor.html" target="_blank">Meor's Maimonides Leaders Fellowship program</a>,
in which college students are enticed by the promise of being paid for
their time, giving them some extra pocket money in return for allowing professional
kiruv workers the opportunity school them about their brand of ultra-orthodox Judaism.<br />
As with all ultra-orthodox Jewish outreach programs, they are rarely, if ever, done without a higher goal in mind. "The religious-secular meetings project is meant to reintroduce secular
families to “basic characteristics of Jewish life” that they have lost
touch with. The program will include reciprocal visits between religious
and secular families from the same town, as well as “finding people
capable of being leadership figures” who can provide “professional
advice” on spousal relations, family life and rearing children."<span style="font-size: x-small;">3</span> <span style="font-size: small;">While this sounds innocent, the truth is that this program is subsidized the Wolfson </span>Foundation, which "was launched by the late American ultra-Orthodox billionaire Zev Wolfson, [and]
funds dozens of Haredi yeshivas – mainly in secular communities – whose
students are asked to learn Torah with nonreligious residents."<span style="font-size: x-small;">4</span> It's important to note that Zev Wolfson "supported nearly two hundred Jewish education or outreach programs in the United States, spanning thirty different states and scores of cities ... as well as Jewish education networks in Canada, France, the former Soviet Union, Argentina, Brazil, Chile, and Germany."<span style="font-size: x-small;">5</span> Apparently, Wolfson had lofty goals, and pushed hard for success, collecting donations from fundraising efforts as well as government sources. With these funds, he was able to get countless outreach efforts off the ground, "typically supplying a third to half the operating budget, much of it with funds he received from government sources."<span style="font-size: x-small;">6</span><br />
When Haaretz reports that "the goal [of this program] is to involve 10,000 secular families from 20 communities,"<span style="font-size: x-small;">7</span> I can only hope that secular Israelis will be motivated to stand up to this blatant act of disrespect for their non-orthodox lifestyle. It is quite possible to live side by side without missionizing one's neighbor. Hopefully, these kiruv professionals will see the light.<br />
<br />UPDATED 3/4/2014-Just to clarify, Riskin and Ohr Torah Stone are Modern Orthodox. My concern is that this programming is funded by the Wolfson Foundation, which is known to support ultra-orthodox efforts. The fact that non-orthodox Jewish organizations were left out is disconcerting. <br />
<br />
<span style="font-size: x-small;">1.<span style="font-weight: normal;"> Kashti, Or. "<a href="http://www.haaretz.com/jewish-world/jewish-world-news/.premium-1.577726" target="_blank">Masorti Fume as Orthodox Get Funding to Woo Secular.</a>" Haaretz. March 4, 2014.</span></span><br />
<span style="font-size: x-small; font-weight: normal;">2. ibid.</span><br />
<span style="font-size: x-small; font-weight: normal;">3. ibid.</span><br />
<span style="font-size: x-small; font-weight: normal;">4. ibid.</span><br />
<div id="stcpDiv" style="left: -1988px; position: absolute; top: -1999px;">
<span style="font-size: x-small;">Thirty
Days Since His Passing: Mr. Zev Wolfson Z”L, His Story, Ideals and What
Made Him Great - See more at:
http://www.theyeshivaworld.com/news/headlines-breaking-stories/140256/thirty-days-since-his-passing-mr-zev-wolfson-zl-his-story-ideals-and-what-made-him-great.html#sthash.glUsIG53.dpuf</span></div>
<span style="font-size: x-small;">5 Wohlberg, Andrew. "<a href="http://www.theyeshivaworld.com/news/headlines-breaking-stories/140256/thirty-days-since-his-passing-mr-zev-wolfson-zl-his-story-ideals-and-what-made-him-great.html" target="_blank">Thirty Days Since His Passing: Mr. Zev Wolfson Z"L, His Story, Ideals and What Made Him Great.</a>" The Jewish Home, reprinted in The Yeshiva World News. September 20, 2012.</span><br />
<span style="font-size: x-small;">6. ibid.</span><br />
<span style="font-size: x-small;">7. <span style="font-weight: normal;">Kashti, Or. "<a href="http://www.haaretz.com/jewish-world/jewish-world-news/.premium-1.577726" target="_blank">Masorti Fume as Orthodox Get Funding to Woo Secular.</a>" Haaretz. March 4, 2014.</span></span><br />
<div id="stcpDiv" style="left: -1988px; position: absolute; top: -1999px;">
upported
nearly two hundred Jewish education or outreach programs in the United
States, spanning thirty different states and scores of cities. He also
heavily supported Jewish education networks in Canada, France, the
Former Soviet Union, Argentina, Brazil, Chile and Germany. - See more
at:
http://www.theyeshivaworld.com/news/headlines-breaking-stories/140256/thirty-days-since-his-passing-mr-zev-wolfson-zl-his-story-ideals-and-what-made-him-great.html#sthash.glUsIG53.dpuf</div>
<div id="stcpDiv" style="left: -1988px; position: absolute; top: -1999px;">
upported
nearly two hundred Jewish education or outreach programs in the United
States, spanning thirty different states and scores of cities. He also
heavily supported Jewish education networks in Canada, France, the
Former Soviet Union, Argentina, Brazil, Chile and Germany. - See more
at:
http://www.theyeshivaworld.com/news/headlines-breaking-stories/140256/thirty-days-since-his-passing-mr-zev-wolfson-zl-his-story-ideals-and-what-made-him-great.html#sthash.glUsIG53.dpuf</div>
<div id="stcpDiv" style="left: -1988px; position: absolute; top: -1999px;">
In
addition to supporting Jewish causes in Israel, Mr. Wolfson supported
nearly two hundred Jewish education or outreach programs in the United
States, spanning thirty different states and scores of cities. He also
heavily supported Jewish education networks in Canada, France, the
Former Soviet Union, Argentina, Brazil, Chile and Germany. - See more
at:
http://www.theyeshivaworld.com/news/headlines-breaking-stories/140256/thirty-days-since-his-passing-mr-zev-wolfson-zl-his-story-ideals-and-what-made-him-great.html#sthash.glUsIG53.dpuf</div>
<div id="stcpDiv" style="left: -1988px; position: absolute; top: -1999px;">
In
addition to supporting Jewish causes in Israel, Mr. Wolfson supported
nearly two hundred Jewish education or outreach programs in the United
States, spanning thirty different states and scores of cities. He also
heavily supported Jewish education networks in Canada, France, the
Former Soviet Union, Argentina, Brazil, Chile and Germany. - See more
at:
http://www.theyeshivaworld.com/news/headlines-breaking-stories/140256/thirty-days-since-his-passing-mr-zev-wolfson-zl-his-story-ideals-and-what-made-him-great.html#sthash.glUsIG53.dpuf</div>
bechttp://www.blogger.com/profile/16146699715760197131noreply@blogger.com22tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3965506036256262699.post-86970767775012362942014-02-23T10:57:00.002-05:002014-02-23T10:57:52.826-05:00On Crying Anti-Semitism This past week, I was quoted in The Photo News. Local reporter Nancy Kriz wrote this week's cover story, "<a href="http://thephoto-news.com/apps/pbcs.dll/article?AID=/20140220/NEWS01/140229998/It%92s-not-about-religion" target="_blank">It's Not About Religion</a>," in which she interviews several Jews, myself included, in the Monroe area, on whether or not Kiryas Joel's attorney Steven Barshov's comments that Monroe residents are anti-Semitic were accurate. While local politics in my own town are probably not of great importance to readers of this blog, I'm sharing this because of the much larger issue raised. <br />
Does disagreeing with orthodox Jewish interests make one anti-Semitic?<br />
This has been discussed before on this blog, usually in the comments section when someone decides that it is anti-Semitic or anti-orthodox to criticize ultra-orthodox kiruv. We all know that I disagree. However, there seems to be an all too pervasive trend for people who disagree with orthodoxy or with opinions held by orthodoxy, to be incorrectly labeled as anti-Semitic, anti-orthodox, or if Jewish, as "self-hating Jews." Whether it happens on my blog, or in local politics, or on a global level, it is not only inaccurate to label those who disagree as anti-Semitic, it's also a bastardization of the term. It weakens the power of the word to describe actual anti-Semitism when it does occur, and it weakens the possibility of people listening and taking action in the face of legitimate anti-Semitism. The groundless rally cry of anti-Semitism turns into little more than the cry of the little boy yelling "wolf!" in the town square. After a while, people will cease to listen and heed his cry. When finally the wolf does come, those who would have protected the boy are no longer interested and ignore his pleas for help, because too often in the past, his screams were for naught.<br />
And so, I raise the issue here, among my readers. As people of the world, as the proverbial "light unto nations," as people with a history of discussion, debate, and study, I want to urge all of us--regardless of our stance on kiruv, regardless of our personal observance (or lack thereof) of Judaism, to be strong in our arguments, to stick to the issues, and to not fall into the habit of claiming victim status in lieu of giving intelligent answers when hard questions are asked of us. <br />
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<div id="stcpDiv" style="left: -1988px; position: absolute; top: -1999px;">
Attorney Steven Barshov</div>
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